Reading time: 6 minutes

Up until a few years ago, Rachel Donnelly, founder and CEO of AfterLight, and her family owned their old family home that had been in their family since 1890. Imagine the history those walls could tell! This home, in Eastern Tennessee, was where Rachel’s great-grandparents lived, where her grandmother was born, and where her mother was raised.  
 
After Rachel’s mother died, the family made the difficult decision to sell this beloved turn-of-the-century Victorian home that was in Rachel’s words “slap full of absolutely everything from our family's life. China, silverware, crystal, knickknacks, handwritten letters, newspaper clippings, coin collections, and of course, countless pieces of big brown furniture. You name it, it was in this house.”  
 
Buckle up, ladies and gents, we're going on a guilt trip. 
 
Rachel and her sister grew up with the expectation that the items filling this family home would one day fill their own homes, including the big brown furniture. Their mother made them swear they'd never get rid of these items that, in her mind, were priceless and irreplaceable. So, for years, Rachel and her sister were on a never-ending guilt trip.  
 
Fast forward, and the sisters’ homes have indeed become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down. But guess what? Guilt be darned - the sisters are fed up! The time has come for them to unload the stuff of generations past to homes where families will cherish the pieces of their mother’s estate that simply do not fit with their own lifestyles. 

We can all do better for the next generation.
 
What if we skip the proverbial guilt trip we create by unloading our stuff on our family, intentionally or not, and instead make a plan that will allow everyone to enjoy a trip down memory lane instead? At AfterLight, Rachel guides her clients down these planning paths every day. In honor of Make-A-Will Month this August, read on to learn some ins and outs that may help you on your way.   
 
Ellen Goodwin: I imagine that based on that fun introduction to our conversation, people can easily picture you and your family in good ol’ southern U.S.A. And that’s really important context for our readers. Our family relationships as well as the types of ‘stuff’ we tend to collect and pass down as family heirlooms often differs by region. 
 
Rachel Donnelly: Even though dealing with it was quite burdensome, I feel so fortunate to have had this family home as part of my childhood. This home was beloved by generations of my family and was full of so much history. The town in which the home was located was referred to as the "Utopia of Temperance," as it was a planned community where alcohol (aka the Devil's Drink) was strictly prohibited and any trace of liquor would lead to the property's confiscation by the city. Well, if walls could speak, they'd have tales to tell! I've always cherished the stories behind the various items in the house and what they symbolized in our heritage. My grandmother was an incredible cook and one of my prized possessions is her index box of recipes.  
 
Goodwin: What is universal in life is loss. And you are at the very forefront of helping people in modern times get through the planning and after-loss realities. It’s complex! Please help our readers understand the “why” and “what” of AfterLight. 
 
Donnelly: I like to say I received an immersive MDA (Master of Death Administration). After my own experiences with loss, including the death of my parents, and serving as the primary caregiver for and eventual executor of my uncle’s estate, I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.  
 
It can take over 500 hours of effort and 100+ tasks for an executor to settle an estate. And executors are expected to complete these tasks, which are for the most part ones they have never done before, all while trying to grieve, work, take care of their family and/or prioritize their mental health. 
 
I searched for help with the tasks, paperwork and logistics in the weeks and months after my losses but struggled with where to turn. I experienced this struggle personally and noticed that there was a gap in the market of businesses meeting this need. 
 
They say that need is the mother of invention, … At AfterLight, our goal is to provide overwhelmed executors with practical, personalized support. We’re on a mission to help the living deal with dying, fostering lighter hearts and lighter loads. AfterLight assists clients in managing the unavoidable administrative tasks associated with after loss and legacy planning. Whether you’re facing an unexpected loss or want to prepare your legacy so your family can grieve in peace and settle your affairs with ease, AfterLight is the answer to your overwhelm. 

Goodwin: An interesting parallel between your work at AfterLight and the act of Artifcting is that both are about human behavior and habits. If we want better outcomes, we have to take steps proactively to do something about it, whatever the “it” is. What do you find are the one or two most challenging steps for people to take in terms of planning and preparedness? 
 
Donnelly: In my opinion, the primary challenge is our discomfort with the fact that we know how this ends – i.e., that we’re all going to die someday. Therefore, many people avoid thinking about it or taking action, as though doing so might somehow become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 
 
The second challenge is that organizing one's affairs can be overwhelmingly complex, because people don’t really understand how it works and therefore, it's easy to be unaware of all of the steps they need to take to not leave a flaming dumpster fire for their family. Along the same vein, legacy planning is often filled with misconceptions. I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

Goodwin: So, it is Make-a-Will month. Obviously, some people don’t even have wills (yet), while others simply need to update their wills. But there are also those of us who have wills that check the box only. Wills can and should do more to help people through grief by very intentionally addressing legacy, memories, and even anticipated points of … ahem, contention … among family members and other heirs. In your view, how can folks take a good, better, best approach to life preparedness this month? 
 
Donnelly: I believe that approaching life preparedness with intentionality and strategy, rather than simply treating it as a checklist of documents, leads to a more comprehensive and meaningful end-result. 
 
When working with our clients one-on-one, we take on the roles of accountability partner, coach, and organizer. Our aim is to help our clients to explore critical questions they may not have considered, procrastinated on, or underestimated the importance of. Some of these important questions include:

• • If you do have estate planning documents (such as a will, trust, financial power of attorney, and advance directives for healthcare), does your family know how to access them? Where are these documents located?
  • Have you shared the unlock codes for your phone and computer with a trusted contact?
  • Are your beneficiaries correctly designated and up to date?
  • Do your loved ones know your funeral wishes?
  • Have you communicated with your family about who will inherit specific items of personal property and when? (Hello! Get going on Artifcts!)
  • There’s no better solution to convey what everything is, what it means to you and your family, and WHY you are gifting it to the person you’ve chosen.)
  • Does your family have a clear understanding of your debts and assets, including a comprehensive list?

@rbdonne is a "family keeper" for family heirlooms big and small.

By addressing these questions and actively engaging in the planning process, we can each achieve a more well-rounded and thoughtful approach to securing our legacies and ensuring our loved ones are better prepared for the future. And who knows, you might even have some fun in the process, especially if you share as you go via Artifcts.

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You may also enjoy these additional ARTIcles by Artifcts:

Gift Your Loved Ones a "Why"

What Have You Done for Your Legacy Lately?

Storytellers, Beware!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Reading time: 4 minutes  

Objects are important to us for a reason. While it can be that they have monetary value or are particularly beautiful, their real value comes from the meanings we attach to them.  

People’s life stories are intertwined with objects; they tell us about that person, and they hold memories and emotions in their own right. That is why we pass them down through the generations as family heirlooms, and it is why we cherish and take care of them.  

This is part of the reason why LifeTime Memoirs does what it does. The team at LifeTime Memoirs believes that there is no greater gift that you can give to the future generations of your family than your life story, shared in the form of a private autobiography that combines memory and heirloom.  

LifeTime Memoirs helps people to unlock their thoughts and memories, something that is deeply significant to the company’s founders, Roy Moëd and Yvette Conn. 

Roy’s inspiration for founding LifeTime Memoirs was very personal. It all started when Roy realized that he was not listening properly whenever his father, Jules, told stories. Like many of us, he thought that he had heard them all before, but he was so wrong! Roy decided that he wanted to capture those stories for his family and future generations and for Jules to have a wonderful project to focus on. The excitement and joy that Jules felt in reliving the stories of his life was palpable, and he revelled in remembering stories that he didn’t even know he had forgotten.  

More than 10 years on, what began with Roy’s father is now making a difference to so many people around the world. 

Suitably aligning with Roy’s passion and dedication to the art of memoir writing, one of the treasured items that he has Artifcted, and that he would feature in his own life story, is a poem. Roy writes, “In 1969, as a 16-year-old schoolboy writing an English literature exam in London, I scribbled four simple lines on the back of the exercise book that I used for my poetry.  

I can’t now remember why or where these lines came from, although a lot of the poetry I wrote at the time was relatively introspective. I rediscovered it later in life, when my interest in my old poetry was reawakened, and a friend engraved it on a carving of a wooden sculpture of a book. I also started to use it on cards that I would send to people. I honestly didn’t think I’d written it, so I Googled everything I could but realized that it was original. It obviously has a lot of meaning to me. 

Considering that over 50 years on, my business is in memoir writing and especially legacy, this short poem is now very poignant.” 

One of Yvette’s Artifcts is also a book, though it is somewhat different to Roy’s book.  

“It was presented to my mother in the 1960s,” Yvette writes. “It was given to her by her grandmother as a wedding present. It is absolutely extraordinary, giving huge insight into Victorian England and life at that time.”

If you happened to page through one of our authors’ books, the chances are that you wouldn’t just find photos of marriages, births, parties, and the like but other equally interesting forms of imagery, too. At LifeTime Memoirs, and particularly within the company’s bespoke Opus department, the team stretches the boundaries of what autobiographies can look like to create something truly special.  

Books can contain scans of important documents, such as marriage certificates, programs from significant events, and newspaper articles that detail the author’s achievements. They can also contain photographs of objects small (jewelry, toys, and even tools) and large (furniture and cars appear frequently). These all provide rich texture and context to the narrative. Often, these objects and documents have considerable wear and tear, and that in itself tells a story to the reader.

Both LifeTime Memoirs and Artifcts value the idea of capturing cherished objects and preserving their meaning for future generations, and of seizing this as an opportunity to declutter and downsize. Photographing treasured objects and documents comes in handy when people have to decide what to keep and what to purge from their homes. Few of us can keep everything, but, even if we have to get rid of an heirloom, we can still preserve its stories. LifeTime Memoirs’ recommendation is to take a photo, capture the story—ideally through creating a simple Artifct—and let that story continue in another household.

The fact that objects are so integral to the tapestry of our lives is something that we strive to reflect in our books. This way, the precious possessions that our authors treasure become immortalised in the autobiographies they write and share with future generations. As with Roy and Yvette’s own Artifcts, the books themselves eventually turn into precious heirlooms: memory made material.

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As one of our Allies in 'Stuff', LifeBook Memoirs is offering all Artifct members an exclusive $500 off any private autobiography package. If you’d like to find out more about starting your private memoir journey give one of their expert memoir advisors a call on +1-844-669-5039, or visit the LifeTime Memoirs website. 

Even more reason to capture your life stories in your own autobiography!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Reading time: 3 minutes 

It does not matter if you have one piece or dozens of art or other collectibles you would like to pass on via a charitable donation. The same processes and rules of the road generally apply. While Artifcts does not offer tax or estate planning services, we certainly know a thing or two about ‘stuff’ and the questions and concerns top of mind for many people about their own collections and valuables and those they inherit.

Today we’re talking about all the art, historical documents, family heirlooms, and other collectibles you may want to donate. Whether you’re planning on a donation soon or it is years off and a part of your will or estate planning process, these insights offered to you direct from consultation with seasoned estate planners and organizations on the receiving end of donations will help make sure you don’t miss anything in the art of the possible (and the reasonable) in donating your ‘stuff.’

Think beyond museums!  

Libraries, universities, halls of fame, historical foundations, and hospitals may be even better fits than the museum you had in mind, depending on your personal affinities and passions.

While preparing this story for ARTIcles by Artifcts, we chatted with Michael Darling, co-founder of the Museum Exchange, “The first digital platform for art donations, which enables collectors to donate works of art to institutions in North America.” If you are struggling to find the right institution for your donation, you may want to contact the Museum Exchange. We are intrigued by this new enterprise.

Have a conversation with the (desired) receiving institution.

Find out if the institution is accepting donations, whether your item fits within its current or planned collections, and how often the institution will be able to display the item. You might learn of other conditions of donation, too, such as accompanying one-time or ongoing donations to cover preservation, installation, storage, and other costs.

Be prepared. Details matter. 

Do you have proof of ownership? Where’s the qualified appraisal? What’s the provenance of the item? Where is the item presently located? (Ahem, all information easy to attach to your Artifcts!) 

Inform yourself.

A little self-study never hurts and will help ensure your broader interests and intentions are met. Read up on and consider:

• What is your timeline? Do you want to donate now, during your lifetime, or via your will and or estate plan posthumorously?  
• How will you donate, e.g., directly to the institution versus a vehicle such as a donor advised fund or a charitable trust or foundation? 
• Ideally, do you have any gift conditions in mind? The fewer the better for a smooth process. And does your perspective on any of these conditions change if you consider your aims for the donation during your lifetime versus your direct heirs’ lifetimes versus 100+ years from now? 
• Would you change your mind if the institution you donate to wants to receive and then sell the piece to use the funds to support its work?
• If you want to receive a charitable tax deduction for the gift and/or if you plan to donate the gift in your Will or through a charitable vehicle, you should contact your tax and financial advisors early to make sure your wishes (and any tax or other benefits) will be met. 

Be patient.

It’s a process from donation agreement to actual appearance on display, unless terms dictate otherwise, of course! The institution will have its own registration process once they receive the item(s), in addition to potentially undertaking preservation, restoration, and cleaning, before finally adding the item(s) to its collection.

Special Consideration: Are you the creator of the item you plan to donate?

Do you want to donate the piece only or the piece and the copyright? And, again, don’t forget the tax consequences, which change when you're the creator.

With all this in mind, we wish you Happy Artifcting. May your Artifcts make even charitable donations that much simpler!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Reading time: 4 minutes 

While some little girls are practically born into the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR), I was a young adult before I’d even heard of this lineage society.

My greatest familiarity with the DAR came from the TV series the Gilmore Girls. The matriarch of the Gilmore family, Mrs. Richard Gilmore, would often attend DAR chapter luncheons, help organize fundraisers, and the like, and led a life that bore no resemblance to my own.

Years later, even after walking by the DAR headquarters in Washington D.C. on a regular basis during my tenure working in our nation’s capital - and, fun fact, attending a Jack Johnson concert at DAR Constitution Hall back in 2013 - I never considered whether I could join the DAR. I still didn't know anyone who belonged.

Fast forward another decade. This March I joined a small local chapter of the DAR based on my curiosity about my family's history (and the context in which they lived) and to participate in another philanthropic and intergenerational outlet in my local community. I'm too new to the DAR to comment on the experience yet, but I'm eager to learn more about how these women support the community.

For now, I’m sharing with you, the curious, the historians, the genealogists, a peek into what was the substance of the very first DAR speaker I listened to. She was actually hilarious. Her topic? All that bling, aka insignia, that decorates the ribbons DAR women wear. 

The Ornamental and Patriotic World of DAR Insignia

Hold onto your hats. This stuff is complicated! In fairness, the DAR insignia committee is the oldest of the DAR committees, dating back to the DAR's founding in 1890. That’s 130 years to muse over the artistry and pageantry of pins. Disney pin creators and traders cannot hold a candle to that! 

The world of DAR pins started simply with a largely intuitive pin design representing the DAR itself. While the symbolism has proved timeless over the last 130 years, you can now buy it with diamond as well as ruby upgrades. This pin, and only this pin, is always hung from the bottom of a member’s DAR ribbon, in theory to rest over your heart. A tricky prospect if you choose a 14" ribbon.  

The DAR provides members with a helpful guide to correctly place the pins on their ribbons as well as information about when to wear which pins and ribbons and even sometimes with what. Here are some fun facts and tips I learned from the speaker: 

• • Most members start with the basics: a ribbon, a chapter bar engraved with their chapter’s name, an ancestor bar (also engraved), and the official DAR insignia, over their heart. Second most common are state pins for the state(s) the member’s Revolutionary War ancestor(s) were from and where the member resides. 
  • Consider paying for an upgrade to a magnetized ribbon or you’ll need the "eyesight of our national bird" to be able to get the pins on. Ditto about the eyesight if you want to read the engravings. Upgrading to the black ink laser printing helps a smidge. 
  • Ribbons go from 4" to 14" and from one ribbon to five ribbons wide. Don’t worry, however, because there is a skinnier ribbon version for formal attire. 
  • Members can donate money to the current DAR President General’s special projects funds and qualify to purchase the corresponding pin. Interestingly, the current PG is a jewelry designer from Houston, so I imagine she took a heavy hand designing her official pin. If I ever meet her, I’ll ask.  
  • Members may not wear the pins with denim. Sorry Texas cowgirls and cool casual Californians.  
  • If wearing DAR insignia on a sash, the member must wear a skirt.  
  • As members may only wear DAR insignia to official DAR events, if they have to step out, the advice is to toss a scarf (also available for purchase from the DAR store) over the ribbons. Ta da! 
  • Members may bequeath pins, but heirs cannot wear the service or donation pins until they do the same and they must remove any non-shared ancestors from the ribbons. Pins were originally gold filled and are now generally gold plated. It’s financially wise to know which are which should you inherit any. 

Do you think these rules are bizarre and outdated? If so, take a closer look around you. There are similar rules in the military and even professional sports. From this newbie’s perspective, there is also a simpler reason for many of the rules: Making it easier to decode the insignia of others when you meet. If you know where each pin type is located, you can much more easily and rapidly find common ground to strike up a conversation with anyone. Community is a hallmark of this organization after all!

Artifcting Tips for DAR Insignia

As with any Artifct, the more you record now, the less of a headache later for your loved ones. Artifcting is a way of life; some would call it the means to continuously practice Swedish death cleaning. In these tips we talk about pins, but the same tips apply to any family heritage memorabilia that you Artifct.

• • Description. We recommend for each pin including the name of the pin and any engraved details.  
  • In the Future. What would you like to become of your pins one day? Many people bequeath them to a loved one, but you may also decide to donate them to your chapter or the state or national DAR offices. Capture your wishes in the “In the future” field of your Artifct. 
  • Location. Make note of where you have stored your pins so you don’t send loved ones on a wild goose chase. 
  • Documentation. We recommend privately attaching your membership card with your ID number and chapter name for easy reference in your Artifct's documentation section. For individual pins or sets you buy, you might also want to attach the receipt for insurance and estate planning purposes. 

Happy pinning. Happy 4th of July. Happy Artifcting!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Do not lull yourself into thinking stories have been told, social media can speak for you, your ‘stuff’ or photos can speak for you, or anything in between. It's easily done and sometimes nearly if not impossible to bring those stories and histories back. 

Do You Identify With Any of These?

You fancy yourself a storyteller, a history lover, and think you've put a lot of good stories out there in the world. And if they are good enough, they will live on, like a great campfire tale. 

You tell stories now and then but know you have some still have some unique stories to put out in the world. 

You stick to telling a few really good stories and write off the rest as somehow lesser. (This is what we often hear from Arti community members.) 

Let's Improve the Survival Rate of Your Stories

No matter your storytelling style, we have five important questions for you to consider: 

1. Did you tell the story? 

You might not yet have told the story, period. Or maybe you didn't tell this person.

2. Are you sure? 

There's little risk in telling it again. You can always say, "Stop me if I have told you this before ..."

3. Did you tell it more than once? 

Depending on the study, it takes between seven and nine repetitions for someone to reliably remember. Well, maybe if the story is a real doozy there are exceptions!

4. Were they really listening? 

Polite indifference can mask a wandering mind. How sure are you that they were listening? Likewise, crowded family rooms and dinner tables and multi-tasking realities may mean your story didn't travel as far as you think.

5. Were they ready to hear it?

It doesn't count if you told a 5 year old, or a teen bopping along in their own world, with or without headphones, or even someone yet to become a parent who maybe just thinks your story has nothing to do with them. They need to hear it when they are ready to listen.

We can lull ourselves into thinking everyone knows our stories, but reality is often quite different, and time is ultimately our shared enemy. Tell it again. Even if you're certain they know the story already, even if the story is only, “My sister gave this to me.” And maybe this time, record it where they can access it always.  

We’re sharing a story each from our founders that they love to tell. Share yours with us at Editor@Artifcts.com to add to this story here in ARTIcles by Artifcts or respond to our post in Instagram or Facebook!

An Artifcted story from @Egoody: "Czech Eggs - It was the wind!"

An Artifcted story from @heather: "My Mother’s Cookbooks" 

Happy Artifcting!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

This week we’re taking a break from our usual stuff-centric ARTIcles by Artifcts story to share with you some observations we’ve had over the past few months on all things "On Aging," which is the theme of the American Society on Aging’s 2023 conference. (You can read more about our attendance at this week’s event here.) 
 
We’ve all heard the saying: there are two things in life that are certain—death and taxes. Well, we think it’s time to add an obvious third to the list: aging. There is no avoiding it, and it’s clearly something we don’t talk about or plan for nearly enough.  
 
In 2021, there were 55.8 million people aged 65+ in the United States, and by 2030, the number is expected to rise to 72 million. An AARP poll found that an overwhelming majority of those older adults (77% in fact) want to age in place in their homes. Maybe you or a loved one are in this position? 
 
And yet…how many of them (and us!) know where to turn to find the resources and information to live longer, better, more connected lives either at home or in an independent community?  
 
We have been fortunate at Artifcts to naturally develop a phenomenal network of individuals and organizations dedicated to helping older adults age well, and age with grace and freedom of choice, yet we feel that having such a network should not depend on one’s chosen profession. Our cofounders had to put this network to the test earlier this year with our respective families as we pondered next steps and life transitions and even helped support some of our loved ones as they moved into assisted living.
 
It really got us thinking—we need to start talking more about the services, products (have you seen this walker?), technology, and communities that exist to help us age well. From the National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Managers—better known as NASMM—to the National Aging in Place Council, there are experts out there that exist solely to help us live well and age better.  
 
Have you worked with a great company, service, organization, or technology that helps people age in place? We’d love to hear from you! Better yet, post about them in your public forum of choice and start a conversation around aging. You never know who you’ll help. 
 
We know who to call to do our taxes; we should know who to call to help us and our loved ones to live well and age better.  

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.