Give the gift small icon
HELLO!
Give the gift big icon
Give the gift
of Artifcts

The perfect gift for the person
in your life who has everything.

Give a gift Close
NEW FEATURE! Not one, not two, but three new features available now. Learn more ->

How Two Sisters Overcame the Guilt to Lighten the Load of Family Heirlooms

Ellen Goodwin, Artifcts
August 16, 2023

Reading time: 6 minutes

Up until a few years ago, Rachel Donnelly, founder and CEO of AfterLight, and her family owned their old family home that had been in their family since 1890. Imagine the history those walls could tell! This home, in Eastern Tennessee, was where Rachel’s great-grandparents lived, where her grandmother was born, and where her mother was raised.  
 
After Rachel’s mother died, the family made the difficult decision to sell this beloved turn-of-the-century Victorian home that was in Rachel’s words “slap full of absolutely everything from our family's life. China, silverware, crystal, knickknacks, handwritten letters, newspaper clippings, coin collections, and of course, countless pieces of big brown furniture. You name it, it was in this house.”  
 
Buckle up, ladies and gents, we're going on a guilt trip. 
 
Rachel and her sister grew up with the expectation that the items filling this family home would one day fill their own homes, including the big brown furniture. Their mother made them swear they'd never get rid of these items that, in her mind, were priceless and irreplaceable. So, for years, Rachel and her sister were on a never-ending guilt trip.  
 
Fast forward, and the sisters’ homes have indeed become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down. But guess what? Guilt be darned - the sisters are fed up! The time has come for them to unload the stuff of generations past to homes where families will cherish the pieces of their mother’s estate that simply do not fit with their own lifestyles. 

The sisters’ homes have become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down.

We can all do better for the next generation.
 
What if we skip the proverbial guilt trip we create by unloading our stuff on our family, intentionally or not, and instead make a plan that will allow everyone to enjoy a trip down memory lane instead? At AfterLight, Rachel guides her clients down these planning paths every day. In honor of Make-A-Will Month this August, read on to learn some ins and outs that may help you on your way.   
 
Ellen Goodwin: I imagine that based on that fun introduction to our conversation, people can easily picture you and your family in good ol’ southern U.S.A. And that’s really important context for our readers. Our family relationships as well as the types of ‘stuff’ we tend to collect and pass down as family heirlooms often differs by region. 
 
Rachel Donnelly: Even though dealing with it was quite burdensome, I feel so fortunate to have had this family home as part of my childhood. This home was beloved by generations of my family and was full of so much history. The town in which the home was located was referred to as the "Utopia of Temperance," as it was a planned community where alcohol (aka the Devil's Drink) was strictly prohibited and any trace of liquor would lead to the property's confiscation by the city. Well, if walls could speak, they'd have tales to tell! I've always cherished the stories behind the various items in the house and what they symbolized in our heritage. My grandmother was an incredible cook and one of my prized possessions is her index box of recipes.  
 
Goodwin: What is universal in life is loss. And you are at the very forefront of helping people in modern times get through the planning and after-loss realities. It’s complex! Please help our readers understand the “why” and “what” of AfterLight. 
 
Donnelly: I like to say I received an immersive MDA (Master of Death Administration). After my own experiences with loss, including the death of my parents, and serving as the primary caregiver for and eventual executor of my uncle’s estate, I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.  
 
It can take over 500 hours of effort and 100+ tasks for an executor to settle an estate. And executors are expected to complete these tasks, which are for the most part ones they have never done before, all while trying to grieve, work, take care of their family and/or prioritize their mental health. 
 
I searched for help with the tasks, paperwork and logistics in the weeks and months after my losses but struggled with where to turn. I experienced this struggle personally and noticed that there was a gap in the market of businesses meeting this need. 
 
They say that need is the mother of invention, … At AfterLight, our goal is to provide overwhelmed executors with practical, personalized support. We’re on a mission to help the living deal with dying, fostering lighter hearts and lighter loads. AfterLight assists clients in managing the unavoidable administrative tasks associated with after loss and legacy planning. Whether you’re facing an unexpected loss or want to prepare your legacy so your family can grieve in peace and settle your affairs with ease, AfterLight is the answer to your overwhelm. 

After my own experiences with loss, [...] I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.

Goodwin: An interesting parallel between your work at AfterLight and the act of Artifcting is that both are about human behavior and habits. If we want better outcomes, we have to take steps proactively to do something about it, whatever the “it” is. What do you find are the one or two most challenging steps for people to take in terms of planning and preparedness? 
 
Donnelly: In my opinion, the primary challenge is our discomfort with the fact that we know how this ends – i.e., that we’re all going to die someday. Therefore, many people avoid thinking about it or taking action, as though doing so might somehow become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 
 
The second challenge is that organizing one's affairs can be overwhelmingly complex, because people don’t really understand how it works and therefore, it's easy to be unaware of all of the steps they need to take to not leave a flaming dumpster fire for their family. Along the same vein, legacy planning is often filled with misconceptions. I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

Goodwin: So, it is Make-a-Will month. Obviously, some people don’t even have wills (yet), while others simply need to update their wills. But there are also those of us who have wills that check the box only. Wills can and should do more to help people through grief by very intentionally addressing legacy, memories, and even anticipated points of … ahem, contention … among family members and other heirs. In your view, how can folks take a good, better, best approach to life preparedness this month? 
 
Donnelly: I believe that approaching life preparedness with intentionality and strategy, rather than simply treating it as a checklist of documents, leads to a more comprehensive and meaningful end-result. 
 
When working with our clients one-on-one, we take on the roles of accountability partner, coach, and organizer. Our aim is to help our clients to explore critical questions they may not have considered, procrastinated on, or underestimated the importance of. Some of these important questions include:

    • If you do have estate planning documents (such as a will, trust, financial power of attorney, and advance directives for healthcare), does your family know how to access them? Where are these documents located?
    • Have you shared the unlock codes for your phone and computer with a trusted contact?
    • Are your beneficiaries correctly designated and up to date?
    • Do your loved ones know your funeral wishes?
    • Have you communicated with your family about who will inherit specific items of personal property and when? (Hello! Get going on Artifcts!)
    • There’s no better solution to convey what everything is, what it means to you and your family, and WHY you are gifting it to the person you’ve chosen.)
    • Does your family have a clear understanding of your debts and assets, including a comprehensive list?

@rbdonne is a "family keeper" for family heirlooms big and small.

Vintage oak icebox by stairwell in modern home

 
 
 
 
A vintage oak icebox and cricket cage, each brought forward through generations. Click an image to view on Artifcts.

An antique cricket cage

By addressing these questions and actively engaging in the planning process, we can each achieve a more well-rounded and thoughtful approach to securing our legacies and ensuring our loved ones are better prepared for the future. And who knows, you might even have some fun in the process, especially if you share as you go via Artifcts.

______________

You may also enjoy these additional ARTIcles by Artifcts:

Gift Your Loved Ones a "Why"

What Have You Done for Your Legacy Lately?

Storytellers, Beware!

###

© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Share With Friends
5 likes
What's New at Artifcts
Inside Look at One Woman's Journey Into Quilting

Sunny Morton may be best known for her public speaking and writing in the world of genealogy, but she is also a self-taught quilter. And while she credits YouTube with her skills, the creativity, technical prowess, and perseverance this craft demands really suggest her quilting skills say more about her than any online video.  

We love origin stories and now having watched Sunny Artifct and share quilt after quilt on Artifcts (@SJM), we were excited on this National Quilting Day to give you all a glimpse into one quilter’s hobby and the heart and story behind her craft. No artist’s journey is like another, and you’ll discover below the heart connection in every quilt she makes. 

The Origins of a Quilter

“I got started six years ago with a t-shirt quilt for my oldest son when he graduated from high school. Well, not just t-shirts, I suppose. I worked in his varsity school letters, too. He loved it and took it away with him when he moved out,” Sunny recalled, before smiling and offering a self-critique. “I used the wrong kind of stabilizer, so the shapes turned out a bit wonky. But I’ve gotten better, way better!”  

a t-shirt quilt

With three kids to practice creating those t-shirt quilts, Sunny had plenty of t-shirts to experiment. The second one was for her son Alex’s high school graduation.

“He is an engineering student with an artistic mind, so he helped design his quilt,” she said. “He played on the same soccer team for years, so he made the repetition in the quilt blocks more interesting by making those blocks smaller and lining them up together. He has variously gone by his first and middle names—John and Alex—so one clever block combines three different shirts to spell out his entire name. And I definitely did a better job on the quilting.” 

In Sunny’s most recent t-shirt quilt for her youngest, her daughter Seneca, not only did she get the stabilizers right, phew, but the materials she had to work with made for a unique design, too.  

“It’s all a single-color scheme because my daughter wanted me to use only the shirts and skirts from her school uniforms. I integrated the woven plaid skirt pieces and sewed down the pleats to add texture. It’s gorgeous.” 

We agree!

a pleated skirt square in a t-shirt quilt   messages on t-shirts in a quilt

And thus, in just three quilts, you’ve learned a bit about Sunny and what connects her to her art. But why quilting? Read on! 

An Artist Emerges to Meet Life's Challenges

Let’s face it, YouTube videos will only get you so far in your artistry. Hands on instruction and comradery fill in critical knowledge gaps for any artist. Frankly, that’s true across professions. Can you imagine a surgeon who has never laid hands on a patient under the direction of an experienced surgeon?  

In Sunny’s case, her hands-on training came through quilting retreats with women who were generally much older than her and, notably, retired.

A quilt for myself: Denim buffalo check

“They’d look at my work and say, ‘Um, let’s try that differently,’” said Sunny with a laugh. “They were so generous with their knowledge and opinions, for better and worse.” 

For Sunny, quilting became a way to connect with her family and other quilters as she’d slowly gather the materials for her quilts and dream of future designs. But it also became an outlet to manage the many stresses in her life, a life with complex health challenges surrounding her and her loved ones, as well as her grief for those she’s lost.   

“When my brother passed away unexpectedly, I holed up in my house for a year, creating two quilts for his daughters. It was cathartic. I needed that tangible outlet for my grief and to feel connected to him and to my nieces.” 

Remembering Sam McClellan quilt   Remembering Sam McClellan quilt  

Sunny was quick to point out that it’s not only the cathartic nature of quilting that drives her. She also treats her time quilting as a reward in a busy season of life.  

Sunny works as a professional genealogy educator and content creator, in addition to being a wife, mother, and caregiver. So, when she’s working a lot of hours—never in her craft room—quilting is the reward waiting at the end of the day. With piles of textiles lying in wait, she can sink into her passion and emerge from the other side refreshed and with something to show for it, too.

A Family Honor: The Fundraiser Quilt 

Sunny’s quilting life is still in its early innings and yet it already has a happy interlude. Her family has a unique enduring tradition that’s all about THE quilt. For decades, her husband’s grandmother crafted a quilt each year to raffle off at the family reunion every Labor Day weekend. The proceeds help fund the following year’s gathering.

In the summer of 2023, Grandma announced her retirement. And she decreed that Sunny would be the future family quilter. “It was a ‘gasp’ sort of moment,” recalled Sunny, “Intimidating but what an honor. I thought long and hard about what this family would want. They are very patriotic and with a lot of veterans in the mix. Ultimately, I chose to quilt a compilation of American flags.” 

Flag of American quilts with the quilter posing next to it

This quilt was unlike any other Sunny had created. Maybe it was the intense desire to win over Grandma (and the rest of the family), maybe she was ready for the challenge, or maybe it was both of those combined with an artist’s eye for something truly unique.  

No matter the motivation, the result was beautiful. “One of the family’s veterans, Nathan, bought so many tickets, he was sure he would win. At the very last moment, a cousin’s wife who had arrived late purchased her tickets—and she won! She is also a caregiver for a loved one with special needs, and I admire her. It was both funny and touching to see her beat out Nathan.” 

“And then when I got home, I made Nathan a smaller version and sent it to him as a surprise.”  

What will Sunny create next? You can follow her on Artifcts (@SJM) to see for yourself! 

Happy Artifcting! And happy quilting.

###

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Read more
Aspirational Clutter & Your Closets: What is Aspirational Clutter, and What Will You Do With It Next?

Have you heard of aspirational clutter? It’s the stuff you buy, collect, or otherwise hold onto with intention of some future use. Or maybe it's for some future version of you and the life you plan to lead.

Aspirational clutter can exist anywhere and everywhere in your home. Take the kitchen, for example. How many cookbooks, special pans, unique spices, and gorgeous serving vessels do you keep with the intention of expanding your cooking repertoire and hosting more events in your home?

For others, many many others, the bedroom closet is an absolute magnet for aspirational clutter. For this reason, you even commonly find references to this sort of ‘stuff’ in popular books. For example, the NYC-dwelling lead character in best-selling author Jodi Picoult’s book, Wish You Were Here, lamented her inability to let go of her shoebox full of art supplies when she pivoted to a career in art sales with Sotheby’s. But it was not only art supplies.

“The shoebox came with me, still unopened. I set it on the highest shelf of my closet, behind sweatshirts from college I no longer wore but couldn’t bear to donate to Goodwill, and the winter hiking boots I bought but never used, […]”

(By the way, Artifcts is a perfect digital shoebox for the valuable and sentimental items you collect alike.)

Here are more examples of aspirational clutter that find cozy homes in our closets:

      • Clothing that ties us to a special moment in our own story or we’ve outgrown or matured beyond, but we tell ourselves maybe one day we could wear again.  
      • Accessories, like gorgeous silk ties and cufflinks, clutches and stilettos, and more for fancy events that we never attend. 
      • Everything for the wrong climate. If you live somewhere in which winter’s scarcely a month long and snow is a once in a lifetime event, how many sweaters, sweatshirts, mittens, snow boots and spare down comforters do you actually want to make room for?  You may dream of vacations or a return to cold living, but is storing this all for years if not decades practical? 
      • Kits and crafts, maybe you bought them, maybe they were gifts, but you’ve never picked it up or kept it up. Maybe it’s time to let go in favor of a hobby that is you?

Closet Tales from Texas & Wisconsin

Our co-founder Ellen who lives in the heart of Texas recently emptied every single thing that belonged to her from her master bedroom closet. Her goal was simple: LESS. She reported that she felt depressed by the end by what she saw as so many aspirations unmet as well as waste, articles of clothing barely or never worn, “Because I just never felt good in it or never had the right occasion for it. It's no different than buying framed art for a wall or a pillow for a couch because you love them and then you realize, you really have no space for it.”

As depressing as it was, there were nice moments, too. Ellen saw in her items so many lives she’s lived.

“I literally found a maternity shirt I wore when I was pregnant with my daughter 14 years ago. Ha! I also realized I still owned the suit jacket I wore to my first interview at the CIA nearly 20 years ago. I really thought I had already gotten rid of it.”

When we asked what one tip she has for anyone undertaking a rightsizing of the contents of their closet, she said it was important not to let yourself off the hook. “I was smart to lay it all out on and around our bed because it put a clock on my work. We couldn’t sleep if I didn’t get through it.” Her sorted piles ended up looking like this:

      • Sell 
      • Donate, “But first you can bet that I Artifcted that suitcoat from my CIA interview!” 
      • Wash and/or repair (and then keep)
      • Keep 
      • Trash 
      • Give to my daughter/neighbor/friend 
      • Recycle, “Especially all those hangers! I was able to return some to my local dry cleaners and the rest to Goodwill. I also marked a bag ‘Textiles for recycling,’ that could not be sold and gave that to Goodwill, too.”

More than 1,000 miles away from Texas, tucked in their new home away from home in chilly Wisconsin, a member of the Arti Community undertook a similar closet downsizing effort recently. But her efforts were precipitated by a change in career and a move from DC to Wisconsin.

Her biggest challenge? What to do with all those formal work clothes! They still fit, that was not the issue, but would she need them now? Suits, heels, and designer handbags, oh my! They meant enough to her to make the move, but now that she was staring at the ever-shrinking space in her new closet, did they warrant the space?

Her silver bullet was unexpected: her husband! Weeks of hemming and hawing, combined with a healthy dose of “do-you-really-plan-to-wear-that-up-here" questions from her husband helped her decide to sell the pieces that were sellable (thank you, The RealReal!) and donate the rest, but not before she Artifcted them. She now has the memories of the clothes, and what they meant to her, safely stored in Artifcts, AND a lot more closet space for all those cold weather necessities.

Before we conclude this ARTIcles edition, we want to know, what items are the tough stuff in your home, the hardest to let go? Please let us know at Editor@Artifcts.com. We'll update you next week on the results!

Which category of stuff is the tough stuff for you to declutter

Happy Artifcting!

###

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Read more
Trio of New Features | March 2025

Today we’re excited to share a trio of new Artifcts features with you.

Over the course of eight in-person conferences during 2024 and approximately 80 hours of interviews, we discovered ways to fine tune your Artifcting experience to support you even more both during and after you’ve created those Artifcts.

As always, we placed ease-of-use and privacy at the heart of each new feature.

Thank you for being a part of the Artifcts journey. Let’s explore the latest!

Private Notes 

As it turns out, sometimes you want to share your Artifcts with others, but you want to include details in your Artifcts that you’d prefer to keep to yourself. So, what’s one to do? 

Now at Artifcts you have an optional field titled, 'Private notes.' It’s exactly as it sounds. Whatever you type there will not be visible to others if you share the Artifct. The exception of course is if you give someone “Full Control” over your Artifct (versus the default “View” access or other “Edit” access).

This new field is on the “Full form” when you create or edit Artifcts, directly after the “Story or Description,” making it a natural extension of what you have to say about anything you Artifct. 

private notes field on Artifcts

Customizable Reports  

It was professionals in appraising and estate management who first approached us about downloading customized reports on Artifcts. Later, this request was seconded by professional home organizers and move managers. Finally, individuals, several of whom were working on their wills, asked for the same. 

Now you can create custom reports, no matter your “why.” When you click 'Download,' you’ll be prompted to select the fields and related files you want to download, too, ensuring you can download only the information you need, when you need it.

As shown below, we’ve simplified matters by choosing the Artifct title and description by default, offering a "Select all" option, and reducing your download size by allowing you to exclude photos, videos, and documentation when you do not need them. 

pop up window providing options for which Artists details you want to download

Artifcts Up Next Report 

We consider this saving the best for last: the new Artifcts Up Next report.

The truth of the matter is that at the end of the day, digitizing the stories and financial value by creating Artifcts addresses one set of needs, but you still must deal with the physical stuff in the room, sorting it and often re-homing it, too.

When you Artifct, there’s just one optional field we show you on the 'Quick form' because we think it’s that important. It’s called 'In the future.' As the name suggests, we urge you to consider what’s next for everything you Artifct. Your options are: 

      • Sell. You can even set a custom reminder and Artifcts will email you.  
      • Bequeath. Adding details to whom is optional. 
      • Donate. Here, too, adding details is optional. 
      • Keep in the family. We hope your “Description or story” offers a compelling reason. 
      • As you wish. Meaning, “I won’t haunt you. Don’t keep it in storage for the next 30 years on my account.” 
      • It’s too late. Enjoy the memories. I already got rid of it. Do not go looking for it. 

When you download the new Artifcts Up Next report, it will give you a checklist of all your Artifcts, sorted by the ‘In the Future’ category. You can then work through the list yourself, with family, or with an organizing, estate, or move management professional to get the ‘stuff’ where it needs to go next.

example report showing items to bequeath to loved ones

 
 
This is just a snapshot of a sample report, showing the Bequeathed section, guideline, and the type of Artifct information you'd find listed.

 

We have an open door!

Is there something you wish Artifcts could do or help you with? Is there a feature driving you a bit crazy or confusing you in any way? You can write us a Support@Artifcts.com. And be sure to catch up on past product updates, too!

button to jump to past product updates with Artifcts

_________________

Helpful resources as you get started and continue enjoying Artifcting:

Quick Start Guide

Inspiration Lists

FAQs & Videos on YouTube

###

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Read more
Your privacy

This website uses only essential cookies to provide reliable and secure services, streamline your experience, allow you to share content from this website on social media, and to analyze how our Site is used. Learn more about these cookies and cookie settings.

Accept & Continue
Oops! This Web Browser Version is Unsupported

You received this warning because you are using an unsupported browser. Some features of Artifcts will not be available or will be displayed improperly until you update to the latest version or change browsers.

Close
Image for unsupported banner Oops! This Web Browser is Unsupported

You received this warning because you are using an unsupported browser. Some features of Artifcts will not be available or will be displayed improperly until you update to the latest version or change browsers.

Unsupported banner close icon Close