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How Two Sisters Overcame the Guilt to Lighten the Load of Family Heirlooms

Ellen Goodwin, Artifcts
August 16, 2023

Reading time: 6 minutes

Up until a few years ago, Rachel Donnelly, founder and CEO of AfterLight, and her family owned their old family home that had been in their family since 1890. Imagine the history those walls could tell! This home, in Eastern Tennessee, was where Rachel’s great-grandparents lived, where her grandmother was born, and where her mother was raised.  
 
After Rachel’s mother died, the family made the difficult decision to sell this beloved turn-of-the-century Victorian home that was in Rachel’s words “slap full of absolutely everything from our family's life. China, silverware, crystal, knickknacks, handwritten letters, newspaper clippings, coin collections, and of course, countless pieces of big brown furniture. You name it, it was in this house.”  
 
Buckle up, ladies and gents, we're going on a guilt trip. 
 
Rachel and her sister grew up with the expectation that the items filling this family home would one day fill their own homes, including the big brown furniture. Their mother made them swear they'd never get rid of these items that, in her mind, were priceless and irreplaceable. So, for years, Rachel and her sister were on a never-ending guilt trip.  
 
Fast forward, and the sisters’ homes have indeed become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down. But guess what? Guilt be darned - the sisters are fed up! The time has come for them to unload the stuff of generations past to homes where families will cherish the pieces of their mother’s estate that simply do not fit with their own lifestyles. 

The sisters’ homes have become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down.

We can all do better for the next generation.
 
What if we skip the proverbial guilt trip we create by unloading our stuff on our family, intentionally or not, and instead make a plan that will allow everyone to enjoy a trip down memory lane instead? At AfterLight, Rachel guides her clients down these planning paths every day. In honor of Make-A-Will Month this August, read on to learn some ins and outs that may help you on your way.   
 
Ellen Goodwin: I imagine that based on that fun introduction to our conversation, people can easily picture you and your family in good ol’ southern U.S.A. And that’s really important context for our readers. Our family relationships as well as the types of ‘stuff’ we tend to collect and pass down as family heirlooms often differs by region. 
 
Rachel Donnelly: Even though dealing with it was quite burdensome, I feel so fortunate to have had this family home as part of my childhood. This home was beloved by generations of my family and was full of so much history. The town in which the home was located was referred to as the "Utopia of Temperance," as it was a planned community where alcohol (aka the Devil's Drink) was strictly prohibited and any trace of liquor would lead to the property's confiscation by the city. Well, if walls could speak, they'd have tales to tell! I've always cherished the stories behind the various items in the house and what they symbolized in our heritage. My grandmother was an incredible cook and one of my prized possessions is her index box of recipes.  
 
Goodwin: What is universal in life is loss. And you are at the very forefront of helping people in modern times get through the planning and after-loss realities. It’s complex! Please help our readers understand the “why” and “what” of AfterLight. 
 
Donnelly: I like to say I received an immersive MDA (Master of Death Administration). After my own experiences with loss, including the death of my parents, and serving as the primary caregiver for and eventual executor of my uncle’s estate, I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.  
 
It can take over 500 hours of effort and 100+ tasks for an executor to settle an estate. And executors are expected to complete these tasks, which are for the most part ones they have never done before, all while trying to grieve, work, take care of their family and/or prioritize their mental health. 
 
I searched for help with the tasks, paperwork and logistics in the weeks and months after my losses but struggled with where to turn. I experienced this struggle personally and noticed that there was a gap in the market of businesses meeting this need. 
 
They say that need is the mother of invention, … At AfterLight, our goal is to provide overwhelmed executors with practical, personalized support. We’re on a mission to help the living deal with dying, fostering lighter hearts and lighter loads. AfterLight assists clients in managing the unavoidable administrative tasks associated with after loss and legacy planning. Whether you’re facing an unexpected loss or want to prepare your legacy so your family can grieve in peace and settle your affairs with ease, AfterLight is the answer to your overwhelm. 

After my own experiences with loss, [...] I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.

Goodwin: An interesting parallel between your work at AfterLight and the act of Artifcting is that both are about human behavior and habits. If we want better outcomes, we have to take steps proactively to do something about it, whatever the “it” is. What do you find are the one or two most challenging steps for people to take in terms of planning and preparedness? 
 
Donnelly: In my opinion, the primary challenge is our discomfort with the fact that we know how this ends – i.e., that we’re all going to die someday. Therefore, many people avoid thinking about it or taking action, as though doing so might somehow become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 
 
The second challenge is that organizing one's affairs can be overwhelmingly complex, because people don’t really understand how it works and therefore, it's easy to be unaware of all of the steps they need to take to not leave a flaming dumpster fire for their family. Along the same vein, legacy planning is often filled with misconceptions. I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

Goodwin: So, it is Make-a-Will month. Obviously, some people don’t even have wills (yet), while others simply need to update their wills. But there are also those of us who have wills that check the box only. Wills can and should do more to help people through grief by very intentionally addressing legacy, memories, and even anticipated points of … ahem, contention … among family members and other heirs. In your view, how can folks take a good, better, best approach to life preparedness this month? 
 
Donnelly: I believe that approaching life preparedness with intentionality and strategy, rather than simply treating it as a checklist of documents, leads to a more comprehensive and meaningful end-result. 
 
When working with our clients one-on-one, we take on the roles of accountability partner, coach, and organizer. Our aim is to help our clients to explore critical questions they may not have considered, procrastinated on, or underestimated the importance of. Some of these important questions include:

    • If you do have estate planning documents (such as a will, trust, financial power of attorney, and advance directives for healthcare), does your family know how to access them? Where are these documents located?
    • Have you shared the unlock codes for your phone and computer with a trusted contact?
    • Are your beneficiaries correctly designated and up to date?
    • Do your loved ones know your funeral wishes?
    • Have you communicated with your family about who will inherit specific items of personal property and when? (Hello! Get going on Artifcts!)
    • There’s no better solution to convey what everything is, what it means to you and your family, and WHY you are gifting it to the person you’ve chosen.)
    • Does your family have a clear understanding of your debts and assets, including a comprehensive list?

@rbdonne is a "family keeper" for family heirlooms big and small.

Vintage oak icebox by stairwell in modern home

 
 
 
 
A vintage oak icebox and cricket cage, each brought forward through generations. Click an image to view on Artifcts.

An antique cricket cage

By addressing these questions and actively engaging in the planning process, we can each achieve a more well-rounded and thoughtful approach to securing our legacies and ensuring our loved ones are better prepared for the future. And who knows, you might even have some fun in the process, especially if you share as you go via Artifcts.

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You may also enjoy these additional ARTIcles by Artifcts:

Gift Your Loved Ones a "Why"

What Have You Done for Your Legacy Lately?

Storytellers, Beware!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Spring Cleaning: The Clothing Edition

Spring has sprung and our closets are ready to spring forth as well. Clothing has a sneaky way of taking up space in our hearts AND in our closets, which is why this year we’re offering up some tips and tricks for spring cleaning dedicated to clothing and accessories.

Our expert tip on all things clothing? Artifct it, of course, and include a photo of you wearing it back in the day, if possible, to help you keep the memories, while you let go of the items you haven’t worn in years, if not decades.

But Artifcting is not the be all, end all. Are you ready to free up closet space? Let’s get started!

Seasonal Items

As you get ready to put your winter clothing into storage and take out your spring essentials consider what you actually wore this past winter and what you kept, thinking you WOULD wear.

In our household we make two piles—the “yes, I wore it” pile, and the “nope, never touched it pile.” We then take a hard look at that second pile to determine the reason WHY we never wore it. Was it not cold enough this winter? Does the item no longer fit? If the answer is yes to the latter, we consider who else might need or want it (nieces, nephews, etc.) or we pick our favorite charity to donate the item.

We also take a hard look at winter gear that has stood the test of time for years but may be on its way out. I broke down in tears this year over my husband’s beloved Patagonia down jacket. The memories, the adventures! However, it was hard to ignore the feathers seeping out of every seam. I found myself having to vacuum after every wear. We took it back to Patagonia hoping they’d be able to repair it as part of their Worn Wear program, but alas, it was beyond repair. We agreed to let Patagonia recycle the jacket although not before Artifcting it!

 

Professional Clothing (aka Life Before COVID)

Remember when we used to get dressed up EVERY day and go into the office? The actual office. Not just our home office. Although memories fade, the clothing lingering in our closet(s) serves as a constant reminder of, “Oh yeah, I used to actually wear that stuff.”

This year I took a hard look at our professional clothes to determine what has a realistic chance of being worn again, and what can be relegated to the “life before COVID” bin (aka donation bin). We donate most professional clothing items to Dress for Success and sell a handful of items with TheRealReal. It’s amazing the closet space and hangers we regained this year when we were realistic about what we would wear post-COVID.

I admit there were some items I was reluctant to let go of because of the memories. My first pair of heels and my favorite ballet flats fell into this category. Both had been worn past any useful lifespan and yet, I didn’t want to let go. So, what’s a girl to do? You guessed it, I Artifcted them. And then I felt a little less guilty getting rid of them. Artifcts enabled me to keep the memories and let go of the actual ‘stuff.’

 

Kid Clothing

They grow so fast! My daughter’s closet is a ready target when it comes to spring cleaning. She’s now old enough to help with the process, and she knows once the items are donated she gets to pick out replacement items that fit. Extra motivation! And even together time since she’s now at the age when she loves to shop.

We usually donate the clothing she has outgrown to our local Goodwill store, although there are some items she’ll ask to keep and repurpose. She stunned us one year when she repurposed her old ballet tutu into a modern work of art!

T-Shirts

Yes, they deserve their own category. My dear husband has a way of coming home from every trip, conference, and work event with another t-shirt. We’ve relegated his t-shirt collection to one drawer and one under-the-bed bin. And yet. There are so many!

Although this go-around with spring cleaning most of his t-shirts were spared. Why? Because he wears them, all of them.

I, however, discovered that I had been holding on to a t-shirt in MY t-shirt bin that I hadn’t even worn. Not once. I was getting ready to Artifct it (and include photos and video of the event) when our youngest swooped in to claim it for herself. Being two sizes too big, it was declared “tres, tres chic.” Success! T-shirt re-homed. We often joke here at Artifcts that the best vintage shop in the world is probably Grandma’s closet! (Or in this case, my closet!)

 

Accessories

Since when did we own two dozen hats?

Like t-shirts, accessories tend to multiply like bunnies at least in our household. Hats, socks, and re-usable bags tend to be the worst offenders. Companies love to gift accessories as promotional materials, and most members of my household LOVE to accept those gifts. You see where this is going.

We have a bin dedicated solely to reusable bags, and another to hats. I took a hard look at both this past month and lovingly put out for free a dozen reusable bags and a half dozen hats. Much to my delight they were picked up within minutes of setting them out.

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On a roll? If you need some donation ideas outside the usual, check out the clothing section of Going Green. With Artifcts.

If instead you're ready for tips on decluttering and organizing beyond clothing, you may love our 15 Decluttering Targets for Artifcters or one of our Evenings with Artifcts episodes with Matt Paxton!

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Rescue Mission: That's More Than a Photo! Artifct That.

Over the years, we've come to appreciate how even seemingly random photos can provide the spark connecting us to each other, to histories, to pasts unknown, if given the opportunity. The ice hiker shown above? Where was he? What was he doing? Where was he going? What became of him after his great adventure?

I bet we all have a photo like this. One that is black and white, maybe a little tattered around the edges. Maybe you found yours in a bin of old photos tucked away in a great Aunt's attic, or maybe yours was carefully, loving framed and had sat on top of Nana's piano for decades. Decades! 

We've all heard the cliche that a photo is worth a thousand words, but we've yet to have a photo start telling us the who, what, when, where and why it was taken. The simple truth is photos can't talk. A researcher could find an explorers club to assist, trace the clothing, authenticate the age of the paper, maybe. But absent a family member or friend knowing his story, his details, he and his story could very well remain a mystery for future generations. 

Our co-founder Heather was reminded of this not too long ago when trying to rather unsuccessfully piece together the (presumed) relatives from generations past in a series of family photos. It was a frustrating and in the end rather helpless task since no living members of her family could recall the details. The closest she got to an answer was "that might have been Great Nana B's sister...or cousin...or maybe just a friend." Yep, that was helpful!

In fact, if you've read Our Story, you've seen a black and white photo of woman who in some ways is the silent third founder of Artifcts.

 

Artifcts co-founder Heather Nickerson's mother

 
 
 

The photo grabs you. Who is she? What (or who) is she looking at that is making her smile? Who took the picture? When was this picture taken and where? Truth is, her end-of-life was the inspiration for Artifcts and our efforts to remove so much of the potential burden from our loved ones who are left to parse through our belongings, photos included, after we're gone. We built Artifcts to ensure that families everywhere can pass along memories, heritage, and legacy, and not just items. Her photo is no longer a mere photograph, but a history. You can read about that very photo's history here.

When you can, you should just ASK!

Here are two more photos that capture our interest in the same way, sparking the same questions. And, we wonder: If someone sold framed photos like this through an estate sale, consignment shop, or flea market, would they captivate a curious, anonymous buyer? They could just as easily fit into the decor of a modern home as one with a farmhouse chic decor or even a cozier older style. 

 

 
 
 

Our CTO, Matt, found these framed portraits buried in a collection of old photographs his mother had kept in her house. Thankfully she had already Artifcted them and Matt was able to know not only who the photos were of (his great grandmother!), but also when they were taken. Absent his mother taking the time to Artifct the photos and the details, that part of their family history would have been easily forgotten, and quite possibly discarded or donated. 

Look around your house. Would the next generation know who is in the framed photos you have on display? Would they know WHY they are on display? Why they matter to you and your family? Chances are, probably not.

Take a moment today to capture that history before it slips away. Not sure where to start or what questions to ask? Download a copy of our free Rescue Those Photos! checklist to help you get started.

Artifct a few choice photosyour favorites, the most outrageous, or maybe the ones that make you go, "Hmmm." You can easily share your Artifcts with friends and family to meaningfully connect and reconnect over (nearly!) lost pasts and new stories shared for more "I never knew that about you!" moments now and into the future.

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If you are interested in photo and/or video digitization services, our Partners at The Photo Managers can help! Our Artifcts Team is proud to be a sponsor of The Photo Managers Conference this year in Boston. 

Attending the Conference? Stop by our Artifcts booth and say hello to the team! We're happy to show you how Artifcts can help bring your photos, stories, and memories to life. 

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© 2026 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Gone in a Woof: The Tragic Tale of Mr. Moose

Dear Reader, 

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sasso Piatto, destroyer of stuffies and Chief Happiness Officer here at Artifcts. I haven’t got much time as my Mum has stepped away from her laptop, and I know she’ll be back soon.  

Today’s topic? The importance of Artifcting ALL your life’s keepsakes because you never know what will happen next. Case in point, my cherished Mr. Moose.  

Mr. Moose was the love of my life (second only to bacon). We had been through thick and thin together. Mr. Moose was always up for adventures—mud puddle hopping, snow pile digging, and zoomies in the front yard. He was my constant companion, my snuggle buddy, and my best friend.  

And then, just yesterday, an unthinkable thing happened. My Mum got rid of Mr. Moose. One moment I was admiring my handy-work (who knew Mr. Moose had so much stuffing?) and then, gone! Into the trash. How could she?! 

Sure, he was well-loved (who doesn’t love a plush moose with squeaky antlers), but that doesn’t mean that it was time for him to go. My Mum claimed the stuffing was falling out of him (I think she needs new glasses) and that the squeaker was a choking hazard. As if! I swallow Milk Bones whole! Choking hazard, it was not.  

And the worst part is that she didn’t even pause long enough to let me ARTIFCT him. Not one photo. Not one solemn moment to stop and reflect on all the love and joy Mr. Moose has brought me over the years. Of all the people, of all the deeds. How could my Mum, the founder of Artifcts, TOSS MR. MOOSE OUT before I got to Artifct him? 

I beg you Dear Reader to take a moment today and Artifct That! It could be a favorite photo, a cherished piece of kid's art, or for the love of all, a favorite toy.  If you’re planning to declutter this spring (hello spring cleaning!) take a moment to Artifct those treasures before you (OR YOUR MUM) toss them out.  

Speaking of spring cleaning, I heard my Mum mumble something about re-homing the Everest sized pile of sticks I’ve accumulated outside the front door. For those of you not in the know, I’ve learned that “re-homing” really means removing. I’ve got to go! Time to Artifct my favorite sticks before they too disappear.  

Yours Truly, 

Sasso Piatto

PS. Happy April Fool’s Day! We hope today’s ARTIcles story from Sasso made you smile. You can  click here to view all of Sasso’s Artifcts  (written in his voice of course!).  

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© 2026 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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