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How Two Sisters Overcame the Guilt to Lighten the Load of Family Heirlooms

Ellen Goodwin, Artifcts
August 16, 2023

Reading time: 6 minutes

Up until a few years ago, Rachel Donnelly, founder and CEO of AfterLight, and her family owned their old family home that had been in their family since 1890. Imagine the history those walls could tell! This home, in Eastern Tennessee, was where Rachel’s great-grandparents lived, where her grandmother was born, and where her mother was raised.  
 
After Rachel’s mother died, the family made the difficult decision to sell this beloved turn-of-the-century Victorian home that was in Rachel’s words “slap full of absolutely everything from our family's life. China, silverware, crystal, knickknacks, handwritten letters, newspaper clippings, coin collections, and of course, countless pieces of big brown furniture. You name it, it was in this house.”  
 
Buckle up, ladies and gents, we're going on a guilt trip. 
 
Rachel and her sister grew up with the expectation that the items filling this family home would one day fill their own homes, including the big brown furniture. Their mother made them swear they'd never get rid of these items that, in her mind, were priceless and irreplaceable. So, for years, Rachel and her sister were on a never-ending guilt trip.  
 
Fast forward, and the sisters’ homes have indeed become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down. But guess what? Guilt be darned - the sisters are fed up! The time has come for them to unload the stuff of generations past to homes where families will cherish the pieces of their mother’s estate that simply do not fit with their own lifestyles. 

The sisters’ homes have become orphanages for the big brown furniture and knickknacks that their mother passed down.

We can all do better for the next generation.
 
What if we skip the proverbial guilt trip we create by unloading our stuff on our family, intentionally or not, and instead make a plan that will allow everyone to enjoy a trip down memory lane instead? At AfterLight, Rachel guides her clients down these planning paths every day. In honor of Make-A-Will Month this August, read on to learn some ins and outs that may help you on your way.   
 
Ellen Goodwin: I imagine that based on that fun introduction to our conversation, people can easily picture you and your family in good ol’ southern U.S.A. And that’s really important context for our readers. Our family relationships as well as the types of ‘stuff’ we tend to collect and pass down as family heirlooms often differs by region. 
 
Rachel Donnelly: Even though dealing with it was quite burdensome, I feel so fortunate to have had this family home as part of my childhood. This home was beloved by generations of my family and was full of so much history. The town in which the home was located was referred to as the "Utopia of Temperance," as it was a planned community where alcohol (aka the Devil's Drink) was strictly prohibited and any trace of liquor would lead to the property's confiscation by the city. Well, if walls could speak, they'd have tales to tell! I've always cherished the stories behind the various items in the house and what they symbolized in our heritage. My grandmother was an incredible cook and one of my prized possessions is her index box of recipes.  
 
Goodwin: What is universal in life is loss. And you are at the very forefront of helping people in modern times get through the planning and after-loss realities. It’s complex! Please help our readers understand the “why” and “what” of AfterLight. 
 
Donnelly: I like to say I received an immersive MDA (Master of Death Administration). After my own experiences with loss, including the death of my parents, and serving as the primary caregiver for and eventual executor of my uncle’s estate, I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.  
 
It can take over 500 hours of effort and 100+ tasks for an executor to settle an estate. And executors are expected to complete these tasks, which are for the most part ones they have never done before, all while trying to grieve, work, take care of their family and/or prioritize their mental health. 
 
I searched for help with the tasks, paperwork and logistics in the weeks and months after my losses but struggled with where to turn. I experienced this struggle personally and noticed that there was a gap in the market of businesses meeting this need. 
 
They say that need is the mother of invention, … At AfterLight, our goal is to provide overwhelmed executors with practical, personalized support. We’re on a mission to help the living deal with dying, fostering lighter hearts and lighter loads. AfterLight assists clients in managing the unavoidable administrative tasks associated with after loss and legacy planning. Whether you’re facing an unexpected loss or want to prepare your legacy so your family can grieve in peace and settle your affairs with ease, AfterLight is the answer to your overwhelm. 

After my own experiences with loss, [...] I struggled to manage all the unavoidable administrative tasks that accompany aging, end-of-life, and after loss.

Goodwin: An interesting parallel between your work at AfterLight and the act of Artifcting is that both are about human behavior and habits. If we want better outcomes, we have to take steps proactively to do something about it, whatever the “it” is. What do you find are the one or two most challenging steps for people to take in terms of planning and preparedness? 
 
Donnelly: In my opinion, the primary challenge is our discomfort with the fact that we know how this ends – i.e., that we’re all going to die someday. Therefore, many people avoid thinking about it or taking action, as though doing so might somehow become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 
 
The second challenge is that organizing one's affairs can be overwhelmingly complex, because people don’t really understand how it works and therefore, it's easy to be unaware of all of the steps they need to take to not leave a flaming dumpster fire for their family. Along the same vein, legacy planning is often filled with misconceptions. I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

I've come across various attitudes, from "My kids are smart, they'll figure it out," to "My estate isn't significant enough to warrant planning," or even "I'll be dead and won't care."

Goodwin: So, it is Make-a-Will month. Obviously, some people don’t even have wills (yet), while others simply need to update their wills. But there are also those of us who have wills that check the box only. Wills can and should do more to help people through grief by very intentionally addressing legacy, memories, and even anticipated points of … ahem, contention … among family members and other heirs. In your view, how can folks take a good, better, best approach to life preparedness this month? 
 
Donnelly: I believe that approaching life preparedness with intentionality and strategy, rather than simply treating it as a checklist of documents, leads to a more comprehensive and meaningful end-result. 
 
When working with our clients one-on-one, we take on the roles of accountability partner, coach, and organizer. Our aim is to help our clients to explore critical questions they may not have considered, procrastinated on, or underestimated the importance of. Some of these important questions include:

    • If you do have estate planning documents (such as a will, trust, financial power of attorney, and advance directives for healthcare), does your family know how to access them? Where are these documents located?
    • Have you shared the unlock codes for your phone and computer with a trusted contact?
    • Are your beneficiaries correctly designated and up to date?
    • Do your loved ones know your funeral wishes?
    • Have you communicated with your family about who will inherit specific items of personal property and when? (Hello! Get going on Artifcts!)
    • There’s no better solution to convey what everything is, what it means to you and your family, and WHY you are gifting it to the person you’ve chosen.)
    • Does your family have a clear understanding of your debts and assets, including a comprehensive list?

@rbdonne is a "family keeper" for family heirlooms big and small.

Vintage oak icebox by stairwell in modern home

 
 
 
 
A vintage oak icebox and cricket cage, each brought forward through generations. Click an image to view on Artifcts.

An antique cricket cage

By addressing these questions and actively engaging in the planning process, we can each achieve a more well-rounded and thoughtful approach to securing our legacies and ensuring our loved ones are better prepared for the future. And who knows, you might even have some fun in the process, especially if you share as you go via Artifcts.

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You may also enjoy these additional ARTIcles by Artifcts:

Gift Your Loved Ones a "Why"

What Have You Done for Your Legacy Lately?

Storytellers, Beware!

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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What's New at Artifcts
New in Artifcts: Capture the Moment Now, Add the Story Later

The best moments don't wait, so now Artifcts lets you quickly capture items you want to Artifct later.

We're excited to introduce Drafts, a faster way to capture what matters and fill in the details whenever you're ready.

How It Works

  • Share a photo or video straight from your phone's gallery to Artifcts to start a new Artifct, or open the Artifcts App and take a photo, record a video, or capture an audio clip on the spot.
  • Add your media, tap Save, then choose Save as Draft. No title, no description, no details required.
  • Your draft appears at the top of your Artifcts list as a Local Draft, stored right on your mobile device.
  • When you're ready, open it back up, fill in the “Name Your Artifct” field and add the “Description or Story” behind it, and do a full Save to push it to the cloud and keep it safe in Artifcts. Once fully saved, you can see and edit it on the Artifcts website.

Capture the moment in seconds. Tell the story on your own time because your stories matter — and we're honored to help you preserve them. Feel free to reach out to us at Hello@Artifcts.com if you have any questions or suggestions for future features. We'd love to hear from you!

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© 2026 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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If Only Our Passports Could Talk

Once upon a time, crossing an international border came with a satisfying thunk. 

An immigration officer would flip through your passport, stamp a page with ink, and send you on your way. That little mark became proof that, on a particular day, you stood in Paris, Tokyo, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, or Reykjavik. Your passport slowly transformed into a scrapbook of adventures, filled with colorful stamps, visas, and memories. 

 
 
 
 

Today, that ritual is quietly disappearing. 

As more countries adopt biometric entry systems, e-gates, and digital border processing, many travelers no longer receive passport stamps at all. Instead, passports are scanned, facial recognition verifies identity, and your arrival and departure are recorded electronically. Countries including Australia, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and much of Europe have increasingly embraced automated border controls. The United States also records many entries and exits digitally, and while stamps are still available in some circumstances, they're no longer the default for many travelers. 

For frequent international travelers, it can feel like the end of an era. 

The Next Generation May Never Know 

Think about handing your passport to your children or grandchildren one day. They'll flip through the pages and ask, "What are all these stamps for?" For many of them, the answer may be surprising because their own passports could remain nearly blank, despite traveling just as much—or even more—than previous generations. 

The physical evidence of travel is fading, and that's a shame, because passport stamps were never just administrative marks. They were breadcrumbs through our lives. Each one represented a moment, and every stamp held a story. Maybe it was the excitement of your first international trip; the honeymoon that started with a missed connection but ended with the best vacation of your life; or the semester abroad where strangers became lifelong friends. Whatever the story was, it was yours and yours alone; no one else would or could know the story simply by looking at the stamp. 

 
 
 
 

More Than Ink on a Page 

Open an old passport and memories come flooding back. 

That faded entry stamp from Italy reminds you of the tiny family-run restaurant where no one spoke English but somehow everyone understood one another and your daughter ended up ordering the best meal of her life. (At least according to her 15-year-old self.) The visa from India brings back the sounds, colors, and aromas that no photograph could ever fully capture. The nearly illegible stamp from Costa Rica reminds you of the rainstorm that soaked every piece of luggage before you ever reached your hotel. 

Even the imperfect moments become treasured stories over time, because if we're honest, nobody has perfect travel stories. Flights get canceled  (hello two week delay!). Luggage gets lost (and your skis rack up more air miles than you do). Or you get spectacularly lost in a city with no cell service. Those are often the stories everyone wants to hear first. 

 
 
 
 

Our Passports Have Been Quiet Historians 

Long before social media timelines and smartphone photo libraries, passports quietly documented where we had been. For genealogists and family historians alike, passport stamps provided critical "proof" of when a relative immigrated to a new home. Unlike digital photos that disappear into thousands of images on our phones, passport stamps asked almost nothing of us. They simply waited until we were ready to remember. 

The irony is that while we're documenting our lives more than ever before, some of our most meaningful physical records are disappearing. 

Ready to Get Started?  

Every passport tells a story. Instead of letting your travel memories live across photo libraries, email confirmations, Google Docs, ticket stubs, and shoeboxes of souvenirs, you can bring everything together in one place. Years from now, your passport may have only a handful of stamps—or none at all—but your travel stories can still be rich, vivid, and ready to share with family and friends. Artifcting it ensures those stories stay alive long after the ink fades.

  1. Start with the stamp
  • Create a new Artifct using a photo of a passport stamp or visa. It's the perfect starting point because it captures both the location and the date in one simple image. 
  1. Add the sights, sounds, and souvenirs
  • Bring the trip back to life by adding: A photo of yourself in the destination; videos you captured while exploring; photos of mementos you collected—artwork, ceramics, t-shirts, pins, spoons, shells, rocks, postcards, or whatever made you smile. Together, these pieces create a richer picture than any passport stamp ever could. 
  1. Include your documentation
  • Artifcts isn't just about preserving memories—it's practical, too. Add documentation such as flight confirmations and travel itineraries, hotel reservations, museum tickets and excursion bookings, or receipts, certificates of authenticity, or appraisals for valuable travel purchases that you may someday insure, include in your estate plans, or resell. Future you will be grateful. 
  1. Tell the story
  • Write five words or five thousand. Type your memories, use voice-to-text, or simply record yourself telling the story directly in the Artifcts app. There is no story burden. Capture as much—or as little—as feels right today. You can always come back and add more later. 

Travel Memories Worth Keeping 

Why Artifct your passport? Because every stamp—even the faded ones—marks a chapter of your life. Because the best stories aren't always the smooth ones. Because one day someone you love may flip through your passport and wonder what those little ink marks meant. And because memories deserve more than a fading passport page or a forgotten folder on your computer. 

Artifcting your passport makes it easy to relive your adventures, revisit trip details when planning a return visit, and share recommendations with friends heading to the same destinations. No more hunting through old emails, scattered Google Docs, or paper files to remember the name of that unforgettable hotel, hidden café, or favorite museum. 

If only our passports could talk. Thankfully, with Artifcts, they finally can. 

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Your passport may not capture every journey, but your stories still can. 
Start with one stamp, one souvenir, or one unforgettable trip and preserve the memories behind it in Artifcts.

Create Your First Travel Artifct Today

© 2026 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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How to Prepare for a Move Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Child’s Lovey)

Our co-founder Heather is getting ready for her fourth move in five years. At this point, you'd think she'd have moving down to a science. 

Spoiler alert, she doesn't. 

The thing is, even if you've moved multiple times, no one prepares you for the inevitable chaos. The boxes all start out neatly taped and labeled. Then somehow, hours later you find yourself surrounded by a sea of cardboard, balled up packing tape, and a child on the verge of a meltdown screaming "Mom, where's Shimmering Star?" For the record, Shimmering Star is the stuffed bunny you repeatedly reminded said child NOT to pack in a box and instead carry in their day pack.  

Bonus points if your spouse simultaneously chimes in with, "Honey, where'd you put the coffee maker?" while the dog is desperately looking your way with his patented, please-tell-me-you-remembered-my-kibble-mom look.  

Moving has a remarkable way of making even the most organized person question every life choice that led to accumulating so much...stuff. 

The good news? While you can't eliminate every "Where's the XYZ?" moment, you can make the entire process dramatically easier by getting organized before you pack your first box. 

It's tempting to start packing as soon as you know you're moving, but taking the time to declutter and organize first will save you time, money, and stress. Even better, it's the perfect opportunity to preserve the stories and details behind the belongings that matter most with Artifcts. 

Step 1: Declutter Before You Pack 

Why pay to move things you no longer need, use, or love? 

Every box you eliminate means less to pack, less to transport, less to unpack, and less to find a home for in your new space. Decluttering before a move also gives you a fresh start, allowing your new home to reflect your current lifestyle—not years of accumulated "just in case" items. 

If you're wondering where to begin, consider tackling items like: 

  • Duplicate kitchen gadgets and cookware
  • Clothing that no longer fits or hasn't been worn in years
  • Expired pantry items and medications
  • Old paperwork and manuals that can be securely shredded or recycled
  • Broken electronics and tangled cords
  • Outgrown toys and games
  • Decorative items that no longer match your style
  • Boxes of forgotten keepsakes you've been storing "for someday" 

Our article, 108 Objects to Declutter from Your Home, offers even more ideas to help you make meaningful progress room by room.  

As you sort, remember that decluttering doesn't have to mean losing the memories attached to your belongings. If you want to keep the memory of those keepsakes while maybe not the actual items, take a moment to snap a photo and create a quick Artifct in our App. You can always go back and add the details later.   

 

Step 2: Organize What You're Keeping and Artifct Before You Move 

Once you've decided what deserves a place in your next home, resist the urge to immediately start boxing everything up. This is the ideal time to organize and Artifct your most meaningful possessions. 

Think about family heirlooms, artwork, collections, antiques, military memorabilia, jewelry, childhood keepsakes, vintage toys, furniture, and other objects that tell the story of your life and your family. Heather also likes to Artifct anything that is or has the potential to be breakable, which with a 75-pound golden retriever underfoot is quite a long list! 

Before those items disappear into moving boxes, take a few minutes to: 

  • Photograph each item.
  • Record its story, history, and significance.
  • Note its current condition.
  • Attach any appraisals, receipts, or insurance information. 

Not only are you preserving memories, you're also creating a digital record that can be invaluable later. 

No matter how careful your movers are, accidents happen. Boxes get crushed. Furniture gets scratched. Artwork can be damaged. Sometimes items are even lost. 

When you've already created an Artifct, you have: 

  • Photos showing the item's pre-move condition.
  • Documentation of identifying features and provenance.
  • Purchase information or appraisals when available.
  • A centralized place to store supporting documents. 

This information can make insurance claims much easier should something unfortunate occur during the move. 

 

 
 
 
 
 
Our co-founder Heather Artifcts anything breakable before a move as life always has a way of happening...

And for the items that simply can't be replaced—a grandmother's quilt, a handwritten recipe book, a child's first artwork, or your grandfather's military medals—you'll always have their stories preserved, regardless of what happens to the physical object. 

After you've decluttered, organized, and Artifcted what matters most, packing becomes far more intentional. You'll know exactly what you're moving and which items require extra care. Instead of simply moving boxes, you're moving the pieces of your life with confidence—and protecting both the objects and the stories they carry. 

Let Go Without Losing the Story 

One of the hardest parts of moving or downsizing is deciding what to part with. Matt Paxton, author, television personality, and longtime advocate for helping families through life's transitions, beautifully captures why Artifcts changes that experience: 

"Take a picture, tell the story in Artifcts, and you can donate it away. The story lives on, and the memory lives on, and the person lives on. You don't need the item to do that." 

When the memories are preserved, letting go of the physical object often becomes much easier. Families can confidently donate treasured belongings, knowing the stories behind them remain accessible for future generations. 

Make Your Next Move Your Most Organized One Yet 

Moving is more than changing addresses. It's an opportunity to decide what deserves space in your next chapter. 

With Artifcts, you're not just preparing for moving day. You're protecting your memories, simplifying insurance documentation, making downsizing easier, and ensuring that the stories behind your most treasured belongings live on for generations to come. 

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Looking for more ideas on how to Artifct during or after a move? One of our Artifcts community members, who grew up in a military family, shared that they Artifct the house they are moving from prior to the move so that they will always be able to remember what the house (and rooms!) looked like. We love this idea! Sometimes Artifcting those big items (like a house, car, etc.) may not seem obvious at first, but they are just as important as the small items we tend to Artifct most.

© 2026 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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