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Letting Go of Sentimental Items

March 13, 2024

Reading time: 8 minutes 

Last fall Chris Stapleton appeared in a Sunday morning interview on NBC with Willie Geist. In a moment reflecting on the “how” of his music making, Chris pointed to a chair he’s used as he’s recorded all of his albums and said, “It’s home.”

two men standing in a music recording studio

We get sentimental about objects for that “home” feeling among other reasons, making it difficult to let go sometimes. These are the artifacts of our lives! Today, we’re sharing our green-yellow-red light approach to reevaluating your sentimental collections. 

But, Reader, beware! If you are waiting for us to say, “Just take a picture, and let it go,” this is not the article for you. In this digital age, we accumulate photos as fast as dishes in the kitchen waiting to be washed. Each photo you take and let slip 100s and 1000s back in your camera roll, even if filed into a folder, is a missed opportunity. You could have captured what’s so meaningful about it while the details were fresh. You could have shared it with someone to connect over a shared memory. So, please, take the photo, we agree, but in the next moment or same day, Artifct that.

Okay, now on with today’s article! 

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Letting Go Can Be Really Hard. Full stop. 

When it comes to letting go of objects of sentimental value, some of us manage better than others. Some of us do not even consider ourselves sentimental and regularly “trim the fat.” The rest of us need all the help we can get, especially those of us who stubbornly maintain all that 'stuff' is not our problem, adopting a "Someone else can get rid of it once I'm gone," mentality.

Our reasons and motivations for deciding to let go of items vary: 

      • You’re downsizing and truly can’t keep it all.
      • You’re mindful that you have a lot of stuff and do not want to burden your family someday with figuring out what to do with it all.
      • You’re going through a decluttering process, because it’s beginning to feel like your walls are closing in on you. Psst ... A real or pretend household move can be a very effective motivator to declutter – less to pack and less to pay to move, too! 

As we set out to learn existing strategies for letting go of sentimental items, we canvassed the literature, decluttering blogs and videos, and more than a dozen books on the subjects. While the examples and stories differed, along with the viewpoints (scientific, minimalist, Christian, you name it!), it felt like there wasn’t much separating one approach from another. We distilled our learnings into a green-yellow-red light process for you to consider, “What do I want to do with this ‘thing?’” 

First, Why DO People Keep Sentimental Items? 

The answer to this question is especially important for all of us with someone in our life who we think is particularly sentimental, and we just can’t relate. Some of the most common reasons we found for people keeping items of emotional value that you should keep in mind include: 

      • The item was important to someone else who you loved or respected.
      • It makes you happy to have it, usually because of a memory it evokes.
      • You’ve had it a long time and it would feel strange to get rid of it. This is related to a concept called the “endowment effect.” If we own it, it has more value.
      • It’s the “last” of something or otherwise rare, or at least you think it is. This could also lead to a slippery slope of expectation that it has monetary value, too, today or “someday.” 
      • Emotional security – knowing it’s there makes you feel better.
      • Just because. Yes, that’s it. Let’s call this, “It’s in the eye of the beholder.” 

Letting Go of Sentimental Items: Green-Yellow-Red Light 

If you have spent time with an elementary school aged child during the last decade, you may have heard of this green-yellow-red approach to teaching kids about the spectrum of foods and their value to our bodies. Green foods are “go foods,” and you should enjoy them every day as you wish because they are so good for you. Yellow foods are “whoa foods,” and should be enjoyed in moderation. Red foods are those for which you should stop before putting in your mouth and consider a better option. They are not good for your body.  

The beauty of this framework is its dual simplicity and flexibility. Today we’re applying a green-yellow-red light framework to help you to parse through your belongings and just maybe let go of a few.  

It’s important to emphasize that systems like these must be adapted to personal starting points and circumstances. Hoarding disorder, grief, and other situations may require different approaches, ranging from professional support to grace and space. 

Green items: Keep, enjoy, display. Clearly this stuff matters to you! This might be the stuff you re-clutter with after you clear out the rest. 

Yellow items: Reconsider. Maybe there’s a better home or opportunity to repurpose some of these items. 

Red items: Halt: declutter! Red light items often have an overwhelming number of items in the same category or have had no use or value to you for years, making them ripe for thinning out over time. Remember, it does not have to be all at once! 

Here are illustrative examples from each category to help you prioritize as you let go of sentimental items. 

GREEN LIGHT – Give yourself a pass.

      • It absolutely adds value to your life, brings you joy or peace, or some other benefit. You don’t have to justify this feeling. (Remember our recent ARTIcles story, “We all deserve a Purple Bin!”) You’ll know it reflexively when you look at the item. This is a category of items that may have already been pared back, for example, if you kept only a few items that belonged to your spouse who passed. 
      • You use or display & enjoy it and have no need to replace or change. 
      • It is financially valuable, too. Do not pinch pennies here. It’s valuable and you are going to keep it because it’s doing no harm, and you would only get rid of it if you sold it. (Check out our ARTIcles story, From Rare Art to Family Heirlooms: Tips From a Master as You Consider Selling Your 'Stuff.') When you Artifct it, be sure to attach the receipt, appraisal, and or certificate of authenticity in the ‘Documentation’ section and as many details as possible, potentially including how and where you got it (provenance), dimensions, weight, and any signatures or maker’s mark(s). Bonus: Use Artifcts’ “What’s it worth?” button if you are curious about the item’s current market valuation.  
      • If a family vote were taken, the majority would say, "Keep!” We have this broken pair of Rudolph glasses. I wanted to buy a new pair and was strongly vetoed. These glasses have been with us a long time, and my family found a new way to use them in their broken state. 

YELLOW LIGHT – It might be time to go. 

      • Books. You might be surprised to reread “favorites” of yours only to discover they are favorites no longer. Your tastes shift. Books are a good category of objects to pause on and really consider whether you need each one. I’ll never get rid of my copy of Rooftops of Tehran. Even if I don’t love it one day, I remember the impact it had on me when I first read it. It stays. But recently I did reread some “critically acclaimed” books I remember enjoying and have moved with me several times, but they didn’t make the cut this time. I donated them. 
      • Battletested and/or antique kitchenware. How much of Grandma’s old cookware do you need to keep to remember what an amazing cook she was or how much you loved to cook with her or the smell of her bread in the oven? And if you are actually using it, consider if it is still safe to use. Can you reduce what you’ve kept to a few representative pieces? Maybe even retire some to become fun décor. 
      • Special textiles. Table linens, children's clothing and costumes, loved blankets, this is another area that’s easy to accumulate and squish just a bit more into that shelf or bin. And being practical, too, it’s easier to quickly try and give it a pass. If it’s all getting used, well, then that makes sense, unless of course you’re running out of space. Plus, linens tend to age without you truly SEEING the signs of age (stains, yellowing, fraying edges …). Use season changes to reconsider and maybe even “treat” yourself to something new to replace some you are letting go of. 

RED LIGHT – Some of these items need to go.  

      • Boxes and boxes of items from a loved one who has passed. It’s taking up space somewhere, and to what end? If you're ready, pick out only those items that truly resonate with you. Consider who else could want it and benefit from the rest or open it up, video it, and send to family to give them a chance to make a claim.  
      • Relics of a former career, student or professional. Do you have college notebooks and textbooks from decades ago. Why? What about awards and mementos? Others are very unlikely to really understand what if any of this matters either if you haven’t told them the stories (or better yet, Artifcted them.) I was really proud of an econometric study I did in graduate school in large part because of the note the professor wrote on the final copy. I don’t know compelled me to keep the physical copy for decades, but I can tell you now that it’s Artifcted, I finally recycled it. 
      • Kid clutter. This is the artwork, awards, presents and so much more that multiplies like bunny rabbits inside closets, under beds, and in what was once a previously (momentarily?) organized and functional system of bins. It is absolutely fair game to put this category into a regular decluttering rotation with your child(ren). Why? It is especially vulnerable to you forgetting what it was and why you and your kids kept it anyway because of the sheer volume. Be careful in this category not to go overboard. Consider our learnings shared in, “Before You Thin Out That Stuffed Animal Collection, Consider What Scientists Have to Say.”  

A Parting Story and Message to Consider 

When our co-founder Ellen Goodwin (@egoody) traveled to Arizona to Artifct with her 97-year-old great aunt, what stood out were the things her aunt had chosen to keep as she came to the end of her lifetime and the stories they told. Having downsized to so very little, chief among the items her great aunt wanted Ellen to see were a pair of goggles, a brochure, and a testing piece she used to become certified to weld airplanes during WWII. Check out #MurielsStories 

What matters to us all, what TRULY matters, shifts over time. Do not feel pressured to move too fast to declutter and/or downsize unless life circumstances give you no real choice in the matter. Even then, please remember to take a moment to smell the roses and remember the value of what you have and, sometimes, the emotional and practical (less to dust!) value of letting go. 

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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_______________

If you’ll indulge me just one more moment of your time, I want to share with you all that I’ll departing Artifcts at the end of this month. I’ll remain co-founder always and ardent Artifcter, too. But, as this is my final ARTIcles story for you all, I want to say thank you. Thank you for reading our blog, sharing your stories, and celebrating the growth of Artifcts with us. It’s been a joy to write for you, inspire you and be inspired by you, and swap Artifcts with you, too. (Never shared an Artifct with me? Please do! I’m @Egoody.)

I hope you find bursts of Mercedes-esque joy in your own lives every day. Let the ‘stuff’ you surround yourself with bring you happiness and connect you with all whom you love.

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Preparing With the End in Mind: A Conversation with Rachel Donnelly, Author & After Loss Professional

August is Make a Will month and although it is probably not a holiday (or month!) that we tend to celebrate, it's a topic that we should all address at some point or another. If you happen to be one of the nearly 12 percent of Americans on holiday this August and you're reading today's ARTIcles story, nothing says I love you like sinking your toes into the sand next to your partner and striking up a conversation about end of life planning. 

We invited Rachel Donnelly, founder of AfterLight, co-founder of Professionals of After Loss Services, and author of Late to Your Own Funeral: How To Leave A Legacy And Not A Logjam, to join us for a conversation about one of the few things that is gauranteed in life (in addition to taxes and aging). Read on for Rachel's practical advice, tips, and conversation starters. There truly is no time like the present to have the conversation we may all be putting off (and off). 

Heather Nickerson, Co-Founder of Artifcts: Rachel, you are an after loss consultant. I think "after loss" is clear for all, but can you illuminate what services you provide in this role?

Rachel Donnelly: Sure! As an after loss consultant, I help people navigate the logistical and administrative tasks that are unavoidable after the death of a loved one. This role encompasses a wide range of responsibilities, including organizing and closing accounts, coordinating and completing forms, locating and securing necessary documents, and managing estate clean-outs or disposing of tangible personal property, as well as working with attorneys, financial advisors, and other professionals. I’m essentially the project manager you didn’t know you’d need when someone dies, helping clients navigate challenges like being overwhelmed, missteps, and missed deadlines.

Nickerson: So not all your services are necessarily offered literally after someone dies, sometimes it's about preparedness for that eventual reality we'll all face?

Donnelly: Yes, and after working with hundreds of clients, I know the common blind spots that people overlook as part of their estate planning and organization. I can serve as their “personal trainer” for estate organization, acting as an accountability partner and coach before something happens. That might mean organizing estate documents and digital assets, inventorying their belongings, or making sure their executor isn’t left guessing. Think of it as doing your loved ones a huge favor in advance. It’s the “leave a legacy and not a logjam” approach.

Think of it as doing your loved ones a huge favor in advance. It’s the “leave a legacy and not a logjam” approach.

Nickerson: Who typically calls you in an after loss scenario? Is it the estate executor, aka next of kin, who really isn't sure what on earth to do now?

Donnelly: Yes. My client is usually the named executor, a surviving spouse, or an adult child who has just lost a parent. They're grieving and overwhelmed, confused about what to do first, and feel like they’re drowning in paperwork and tasks. That’s when I step in to bring order to the chaos.

Nickerson: What led you to take the leap from being the founder of your own after loss business at AfterLight to co-founding an organization to train others—Professionals of After Loss Services (PALS)?

Donnelly: What began as an informal networking group of women with businesses similar to mine has grown into the first and only dedicated community for after loss professionals. There is a significant need for professionals who are both trained and experienced in handling loss situations. While the field is growing quickly, there is still a gap in connection, consistency, and shared knowledge.

We created PALS to close that gap by building a network of trained, vetted professionals who understand the unique needs of clients after a loss. Our mission is to raise the standard of care while fostering a supportive community of pros who truly “get it.” We bring together people who are passionate about helping families navigate the administrative and logistical challenges of settling an estate while grieving. Whether you already serve families after a loss or are exploring how to begin, PALS is the place to learn, connect, and grow. As we like to say at PALS, a rising tide lifts all boats.

Nickerson: Among PALS-trained professionals, are there subspecialties? For example, do some professionals work more with widows or with families who have lost a child?

Donnelly: Yes, absolutely. While all PALS-trained professionals have a strong foundation in after loss logistics, many bring their own unique backgrounds to the table. Some focus more on grief support, others on estate organizing or clean-outs. We also have professionals who specialize in working with widows, the sandwich generation, or solo agers. It’s not one-size-fits-all, and that is what makes the network so valuable.

Nickerson: You also have “The checklist of death," not something most people probably hear on a daily basis. Where do you see the most mistakes made? What is most commonly overlooked? What are the first three steps someone should take in nearly any after loss scenario?

Donnelly: I love that phrase because it’s real. The biggest mistake I see is people jumping straight into tasks like cleaning out the house or closing accounts without understanding that there is often a specific order these steps should be followed according to the estate plan. Skipping that order or protocol can create significant problems later.

The biggest mistake I see is people jumping straight into tasks like cleaning out the house or closing accounts without understanding that there is often a specific order these steps should be followed according to the estate plan. 

Most commonly overlooked? Digital assets. People often forget about email, cloud accounts, subscriptions, and social media, which can hold financial, exchange, or sentimental value.

As for first steps, aside from the funeral or memorial:

      1. Secure the home and cars, and forward the mail.
      2. Locate the will, trust, and other important documents.
      3. Make a detailed list of what they owe and what they own, which will be crucial during the estate settlement process.

Nickerson: And last but not least, you are a published author. What’s the feedback been like on your new book? Are you hearing from readers about "ah ha" moments?

Donnelly: It’s been humbling and amazing. People tell me Late To Your Own Funeral: How To Leave A Legacy And Not A Logjam is the first book they’ve read on this topic that doesn’t make them feel like they’re reading a legal manual—or a eulogy. I’ve had so many people tell me they’ve given this to their aging parents, who would never even broach the subject with them, and now they’re meeting with attorneys and formalizing their estate planning documents. One woman said, “This made me laugh, cry, and then finally get my affairs in order.” That’s exactly what I was going for: clarity, empathy, and a little irreverence to make it all feel more doable.

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Interested in learning more about becoming a Professional of After Loss Services? Join Rachel and our co-founder Heather at the Professionals of After Loss Services Conference this October in Atlanta, GA. Click here for more details

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Everything You Need to Know Before Heading to Your First Estate Sale 

Estate sales truly are about the thrill of the hunt for so many. The unique and unexpected finds, like that one cool item that's kind of kitsch and adds a pop of surprise to an otherwise sophisticated room. Or a fun element like an old brooch or cocktail ring paired with a nice outfit already in your closet. Other finds may be years and even decades in the making, alerts set for the item with every known estate sale, auction, and re-sell shop globally. 

If you’ve never been to an estate sale, you might feel a bit intimidated. You might feel like everyone knows the ins and outs, and you’ll be at a disadvantage both in terms of getting the items you are seeking and naming the right price.  

While there are practically “pro” estate sales shoppers out there in the world, most are curious folks out for some unexpected finds. Grab a friend and read our article to help ease you in and find joy in the hunt. You may even walk away with a story or two to share at your next party.

Finding an Estate Sale and Your “It” Item

Pop onto EstateSales.net, or your preferred estate sales website, to set a search radius (in miles) for how far from a location you’d like to be notified about upcoming estate sales. Some people like to stick close to home, and others love nothing more than a road trip for a great find. 

Then you can start browsing upcoming sales in a way that was not possible years ago. Why? Because now many estate sales are hybrid, showcasing a catalog of items that are auctioned online and other items that will be available only in-person the day of the sale. The online catalog is your “personal thrifting assistant,” according to Marika Clemow, Senior Vice President of Auction Technology Group, boosting your confidence and helping you scope your goals. 

While we’re all familiar with the expression, “Go big, or go home,” you might want to set that aside when it comes to estate sales and instead start small and focused. Set alerts and bookmark items of interest.  

Now, the “day of” experience. You’re lucky, because the most irksome of estate sales attributes is transforming – the line! Traditionally you had to show up hours before the sale, add your name to a list, and wait in line, creating stress for you, subjecting you to poor weather, and often irking the neighbors. But things are changing! Agents who run their sales through EstateSales.net can now allow you to reserve your spot in line and be notified when it’s your turn. It’s just like when you get on the waitlist at a restaurant. That’s a major victory for all. 

Once inside, what do you do? Very likely you make a beeline for the priority items you’ve scoped out online ahead of time. But if you’re just showing up unexpectedly or to be surprised, lovely, meander and enjoy.  

Unlike a museum, you’re encouraged to touch and inspect the items. And you’re certainly encouraged to ask questions. Whomever is working at the estate sale should be well versed in the provenance and backstories of interesting items. If you’re lucky, they’ve Artifcted them and you can simply scan the Artifcts QR code to learn more and take that story home with you.

Who’s Shopping Estate Sales?

Estate sales generally have a little something for everyone. We’re lumping buyers into four categories to give you a feel for the type of people you’ll encounter and how who is shopping can affect the mood and dynamic at a sale. 

The curious, #TreasureHunter. These shoppers enjoy the estate sale for the surprise finds and niche wins. It’s not about turning a profit. They are more inclined to negotiate, amicably browse, share their experience, and preserve stories, too. (Ahem, Artifct those finds!)

framed picture of Mary Duryee

Local history rescued by a discerning shopper! Artifcts member @ChristineVisser published an Artifct over the summer featuring a print of a famous local person picked up at an estate sale. CLICK THE IMAGE TO VIEW THE ARTIFCT.

Value seekers, #BudgetConscious. Thrifting means saving money on life essentials —e.g., clothes, tools, appliances, holiday decorations, furnishings and more—by choosing well-made and good condition secondhand items. The bonus with estate sales, of course, is the abundant variety, cataloged for easy browsing. Hard to say that about most in-person consignment stores never mind thrift stores! 

The curators and collectors, #CuratedNotCluttered. Still on the enjoyment and story side of the equation but with extensive research and knowledge and a very specific items or set of items on their target list. They will not deviate. They will look at the details to authenticate items. They will not be so inclined to negotiate with other buyers and will be prepared to drive a hard bargain with the sellers.  

The flippers and hustlers, #TurnAProfit. Check out Reddit and you’ll find an abundance of complaints about this type of shopper for everything from vinyl albums and games to sporting goods. They may “hoard” items so they can assess the resale value on the spot, frustrating other shoppers behind them in line. But beware – outside of exceptionally bad behavior, a sale is a sale is a sale.

Uniting these four types of estate sales shoppers? Unlike people who may exclusively take their search online through the likes of Everything but the House, estate sales enthusiasts still love the tactile world of retail. To see, touch, learn in objects’ native environments, with the opportunity to ask questions is part of the experience they seek.

Who are Estate Sales Agents?

It’s worth taking a moment to discuss the person behind the curtain, so to speak. Who are the estate sales agents behind the businesses running these sales? According to a 2024 survey by EstateSales.net, 68% of estate sales business owners are over the age of 55. They've moved on to their 2nd or 3rd careers and bring with them incredible life experience.

But a new generation of owners is coming on the scene, too. A generation prioritizing mission driven work and ideally work that supports a more sustainable, earth friendly future. If nothing else, estate sales are certainly all that.

We talk about re-homing items we Artifct all the time to avoid landfills and waste, like in our story, “Who Wants This Rocking Chair?” Estate sales support sustainability, providing the means to upcycle and recycle remainders as second and third lines of defense. And they are working! Check out trends in estate cleanouts that we covered in, “Insider’s Look at What It Means to Clean Out an Estate.”

Not Ready for an Estate Sale? Try Virtual Sales and Auctions

If you’re not ready or able to show up in-person at an estate sale, we understand. The same channels through which people re-sell “pre-loved” items in lieu of or sometimes in addition to estate sales can become your testing ground for setting up alerts for items of interest to you and only buying what you’re truly seeking.

Check out these in-person and online retailers where you can browse and set alerts for items of interest.

Listed in alphabetical order.

GENERAL HOME GOODS  

      • Auction Ninja, “The hunt starts here,” auctionninja.com  
      • Bidrush, "Local downsizing & estate online auctions,” go.bidrush.com 
      • Ebay, "Things. People. Love.," ebay.com 
      • EstateSales.net, “Find estate sales, tag sales, and auctions,” estatesales.net 
      • Etsy, "Global marketplace for unique and creative goods," etsy.com 
      • Facebook marketplace, buy and sell locally and nationwide, www.facebook.com/marketplace
      • LiveAuctioneers, "Let's go treasure hunting: auctions for one-of-a-kind art, antiques & luxury goods," liveauctioneers.com  
      • OfferUp, "The simpler way to buy and sell locally," offerup.com    
      • Whatnot, "The live shopping marketplace," whatnot.com

LUXURY AND OTHER HIGHER END GOODS AND COLLECTIBLES 

      • 1stDibs, "The most beautiful things on earth: Antique and modern furniture, jewelry, fashion, & art," 1stdibs.com 
      • Auction houses, such as Bonhams, Doyle, Heritage Auctions, and Nye & Company 
      • Chairish, www.chairish.com
      • Poshmark, "Buy, sell, and discover fashion, home decor, beauty, and more," poshmark.com  
      • The RealReal, "Where luxury is yours to define," therealreal.com 
      • Specialty antiques and collectibles dealers (too numerous to list - search online based on your item)

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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