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Letting Go of Sentimental Items

March 13, 2024

Reading time: 8 minutes

Last fall Chris Stapleton appeared in a Sunday morning interview on NBC with Willie Geist. In a moment reflecting on the “how” of his music making, Chris pointed to a chair he’s used as he’s recorded all of his albums and said, “It’s home.”

We get sentimental about objects for that “home” feeling among other reasons, making it difficult to let go sometimes. These are the artifacts of our lives! Today, we’re sharing our green-yellow-red light approach to reevaluating your sentimental collections.

But, Reader, beware! If you are waiting for us to say, “Just take a picture of the item you want to remember,” this is not the article for you. In this digital age, we accumulate photos as fast as dishes in the kitchen waiting to be washed. Each photo you take and let slip 100s and 1000s back in your camera roll, even if filed into a folder, is a missed opportunity. You could have captured what’s so meaningful about it while the details were fresh. You could have shared it with someone to connect over a shared memory. So, please, take the photo, we agree, but in the next moment or same day, Artifct that. Okay, now on with today’s article!

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Letting Go Can Be Really Hard. Full stop.

When it comes to letting go of objects of sentimental value, some of us manage better than others. Some of us do not even consider ourselves sentimental and regularly “trim the fat.” The rest of us need all the help we can get, especially those of us who stubbornly maintain it's not our problem, adopting a "Someone else can get rid of it once I'm gone," mentality.

Our reasons and motivations for deciding to let go of items vary:

- - You’re downsizing and truly can’t keep it all.
  - You’re mindful that you have a lot of stuff and do not want to burden your family someday with figuring out what to do with it all.
  - You’re going through a decluttering process, because it’s beginning to feel like your walls are closing in on you. Psst ... A real or pretend household move can be a very effective motivator to declutter – less to pack and less to pay to move, too!

As we set out to learn existing strategies for letting go of sentimental items, we canvassed the literature, decluttering blogs and videos, and more than a dozen books on the subjects. While the examples and stories differed, along with the viewpoints (scientific, minimalist, Christian, you name it!), it felt like there wasn’t much separating one approach from another. We distilled our learnings into a green-yellow-red light process for you to consider, “What do I want to do with this ‘thing?’”

First, Why DO People Keep Sentimental Items?

The answer to this question is especially important for all of us with someone in our life who we think is particularly sentimental, and we just can’t relate. Some of the most common reasons we found for people keeping items of emotional value that you should keep in mind include:

- - The item was important to someone else who you loved or respected.
  - It makes you happy to have it, usually because of a memory it evokes.
  - You’ve had it a long time and it would feel strange to get rid of it. This is related to a concept called the “endowment effect.” If we own it, it has more value.
  - It’s the “last” of something or otherwise rare, or at least you think it is. This could also lead to a slippery slope of expectation that it has monetary value, too, today or “someday.”
  - Emotional security – knowing it’s there makes you feel better.
  - Just because. Yes, that’s it. Let’s call this, “It’s in the eye of the beholder.”

Letting Go of Sentimental Items: Green-Yellow-Red Light

If you have spent time with an elementary school aged child during the last decade, you may have heard of this green-yellow-red approach to teaching kids about the spectrum of foods and their value to our bodies. Green foods are “go foods,” and you should enjoy them every day as you wish because they are so good for you. Yellow foods are “whoa foods,” and should be enjoyed in moderation. Red foods are those for which you should stop before putting in your mouth and consider a better option. They are not good for your body.

The beauty of this framework is its dual simplicity and flexibility. Today we’re applying a green-yellow-red light framework to help you to parse through your belongings and just maybe let go of a few.

It’s important to emphasize that systems like these must be adapted to personal starting points and circumstances. Hoarding disorders, grief, and other situations may require different approaches, ranging from professional support to grace and space.

Green items: Keep, enjoy, display. Clearly this stuff matters! This might be the stuff you re-clutter with after you clear out the rest.

Yellow items: Reconsider. Maybe there’s a better home or opportunity to repurpose some of these items.

Red items: Halt: declutter! Red light items often have an overwhelming number of items in the same category or have had no use or value to you for years, making them ripe for thinning out over time. Remember, it does not have to be all at once!

Here are illustrative examples from each category to help you prioritize as you let go of sentimental items.

GREEN LIGHT – Give yourself a pass.

It absolutely adds value to your life, brings you joy or peace, or some other benefit. You don’t have to justify this feeling. (Remember our recent ARTIcles story, “We all deserve a Purple Bin!”) You’ll know it reflexively when you look at the item. This is a category of items that may have already been pared back, for example, if you kept only a few items that belonged to your spouse who passed.

You use or display & enjoy it and have no need to replace or change.

It is financially valuable, too. Do not pinch pennies here. It’s valuable and you are going to keep it because it’s doing no harm, and you would only get rid of it if you sold it. (Check out our ARTIcles story, From Rare Art to Family Heirlooms: Tips From a Master as You Consider Selling Your 'Stuff.') When you Artifct it, be sure to attach the receipt, appraisal, and or certificate of authenticity in the ‘Documentation’ section and as many details as possible, potentially including how and where you got it (provenance), dimensions, weight, and any signatures or maker’s mark(s). Bonus: Use Artifcts’ “What’s it worth?” button if you are curious about the item’s current market valuation.

If a family vote were taken, the majority would say, "Keep!” We have this broken pair of Rudolph glasses. I wanted to buy a new pair and was strongly vetoed. These glasses have been with us a long time, and my family found a new way to use them in their broken state.

YELLOW LIGHT – It might be time to go.

Books. You might be surprised to reread “favorites” of yours only to discover they are favorites no longer. Your tastes shift. Books are a good category of objects to pause on and really consider whether you need each one. I’ll never get rid of my copy of Rooftops of Tehran. Even if I don’t love it one day, I remember the impact it had on me when I first read it. It stays. But recently I did reread some “critically acclaimed” books I remember enjoying and have moved with me several times, but they didn’t make the cut this time. I donated them.

Battletested and/or antique kitchenware. How much of Grandma’s old cookware do you need to keep to remember what an amazing cook she was or how much you loved to cook with her or the smell of her bread in the oven? And if you are actually using it, consider if it is still safe to use. Can you reduce what you’ve kept to a few representative pieces? Maybe even retire some to become fun décor.

Special textiles. Table linens, children's clothing and costumes, loved blankets, this is another area that’s easy to accumulate and squish just a bit more into that shelf or bin. And being practical, too, it’s easier to quickly try and give it a pass. If it’s all getting used, well, then that makes sense, unless of course you’re running out of space. Plus, linens tend to age without you truly SEEING the signs of age (stains, yellowing, fraying edges …). Use season changes to reconsider and maybe even “treat” yourself to something new to replace some you are letting go of.

RED LIGHT – Some of these items need to go.

Boxes and boxes of items from a loved one who has passed. It’s taking up space somewhere, and to what end? If you're ready, pick out only those items that truly resonate with you. Consider who else could want it and benefit from the rest or open it up, video it, and send to family to give them a chance to make a claim.

Relics of a former career, student or professional. Do you have college notebooks and textbooks from decades ago. Why? What about awards and mementos? Others are very unlikely to really understand what if any of this matters either if you haven’t told them the stories (or better yet, Artifcted them.) I was really proud of an econometric study I did in graduate school in large part because of the note the professor wrote on the final copy. I don’t know compelled me to keep the physical copy for decades, but I can tell you now that it’s Artifcted, I finally recycled it.

Kid clutter. This is the artwork, awards, presents and so much more that multiplies like bunny rabbits inside closets, under beds, and in what was once a previously (momentarily?) organized and functional system of bins. It is absolutely fair game to put this category into a regular decluttering rotation with your child(ren). Why? It is especially vulnerable to you forgetting what it was and why you and your kids kept it anyway because of the sheer volume. Be careful in this category not to go overboard. Consider our learnings shared in, “Before You Thin Out That Stuffed Animal Collection, Consider What Scientists Have to Say.”

A Parting Story and Message to Consider

When our co-founder Ellen Goodwin (@egoody) traveled to Arizona to Artifct with her 97-year-old great aunt, what stood out were the things her aunt had chosen to keep as she came to the end of her lifetime and the stories they told. Having downsized to so very little, chief among the items her great aunt wanted Ellen to see were a pair of goggles, a brochure, and a testing piece she used to become certified to weld airplanes during WWII. Check out #MurielsStories.

What matters to us all, what TRULY matters, shifts over time. Do not feel pressured to move too fast to declutter and/or downsize unless life circumstances give you no real choice in the matter. Even then, please remember to take a moment to smell the roses and remember the value of what you have and, sometimes, the emotional and practical (less to dust!) value of letting go.

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My Cabinet of Curiosities

The following story is based on a true story shared with us by a member of the Arti Community. We’ve altered some details to protect their privacy. We hope their experience helps you feel less alone in the tough choices you make as times change, your way of life changes, and who you live that life with changes, too.

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When my father passed away, my mother was truly on her own. But she was not physically or mentally healthy enough to live on her own. My parents had been married for 63 years. Solitude and independence were foreign to her. I know that in many families the open question in this scenario is, “Who will take care of Mom?” If that’s the story you are expecting, you can stop here. That is not our story.

For my family, when it came time to settle the estate, my siblings and I sat down together in our childhood living room and spoke very frankly. All in our 60s and 70s, we knew our own minds and we knew each other well enough to hash it out together fairly quickly.

My brother said he wanted the house. He had no desire to leave the local area, so taking over the family home was his top wish.

My sister wanted my mom. You read that right. Her one request was that Mom move in with her so she could take care of her and ensure she had constant familiarity and companionship. This suited Mom perfectly, and so she moved into my sister’s home where she spent the final 10 years of her life.

Are you now wondering what it was I wanted? One thing: a cabinet that had sat in our family’s living room for as long as I can remember and surely longer. It contained the most glorious accumulation of ‘stuff.’

As a child, I wanted nothing more than to open the doors and explore all the knickknacks inside. I’d ask my mom about everything, driving her crazy as she was trying to get on with other tasks around the house. To me, a burnt casserole in the oven was just fine if I got to hear the story of Grandma’s crystal bowl one more time.

The Cabinet of Curiosity Lives On

This cabinet of curiosities now sits in my home, filled with some heirlooms from my mother and my grandparents too. But over the years it has taken on the personality, interests, and lives of me, my husband, our children, and our grandchildren. It’s filled with stories, stories we tell as often as we may. The reality is, we have so little time together with our family that I don’t think there will ever be enough time to share them all.

When I use the dishes and glasses, I think of the relatives who owned them. For example, one of my dear mother-in-law’s beautiful wine glasses has a nick on the edge. When I wash and dry the glass, and feel the edge, and I remember how she dearly loved her family despite our flaws.

We have a silver bowl awarded to my husband for outstanding geological research, always in need of a polish, and seldom out on display (shame on us!).

Woman's hands holding an engraved silver bowl

Buried among the crystal pieces you’ll find a decanter we bought in Prague in 2012. It’s leaded crystal, so we couldn’t actually store the port we'd drink in it. We needed to decant only what we intended to drink. And, with that level of practicality, can you really blame us for letting it fall into disuse?

We also have the baking dish that Grandpa Art used for his freshly caught fish. And two glasses that our wonderful Uncle Lawrence and his friend created as they practiced their glass etching skills. Oh, and the vases from our travels in China. I’ll stop there, because it truly is my cabinet of curiosities.

Various items inside the cabinet

My hope for you all is that you will discover the joy that is Artifcts. There are stories I want shared with my immediate family only. Other stories are for my siblings, my church friends, and others. Artifcts offers me a safe place to record and share them.

Artifcts has become a lovely addition to my day, sitting down to create a few Artifcts, reflecting on my life, sharing with loved ones, and feeling like I’ve done my bit to ensure my family’s history is passed on. I know one day I’ll leave behind a cabinet of curiosities and memories to cherish.

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We know that maybe your story is not about a cabinet. Maybe your story and the messy memories of lives lived are decorating your shelves, packed away in boxes, or adorning every square inch of your home.

Whatever it is you collect, whatever items you choose to hold onto, do yourself, your stories, and your loved ones a favor, and record what these things mean to you. You may be surprised by the fun you’ll have in the sharing and telling, too!

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by Arti Community Member

January 15, 2025

GUEST CURATOR, LEGACY, PLANNING & MORE

Bonus Epilogue: Do You Know What You Own?

After publishing last week’s ARTIcles story with tips for decluttering that we learned from people who have moved and/or downsized, we were inundated by “That’s me!” responses. Most people who wrote to us pointed to this line in the story:

A professional home organizer told me recently that her clients get tripped up when decluttering and organizing a space because they have forgotten what was even in it.

Apparently, many of us can relate. We don’t even know what we own. Our co-founder Ellen said as much in the ARTIcles story, We All Deserve a Purple Bin, confessing that, in general, she does not know what's in it, could not quantify the loss if it was destroyed, but acknowledging she'd feel the loss. A messy purple bin of memories.

And no doubt you realize, the process to get reimbursed for any loss is longer and less likely a positive outcome without records to back you up.

So, what is the answer? Let's explore options.

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Take a Step Forward and Lean In On Digital, If Possible

(Yes, we beg you. Step back from relying on binders and bins.)

Like everything in life, it depends on what it is and why you’re asking. The key really is do something, anything, that will take you one step forward. Our favorite advice to date:

CHECK BEFORE YOU BUY.

We’ve talked before about strategies “they” use to get you to buy more. Truly, pausing before purchasing helps.

When you go grocery shopping, you check the pantry to confirm what you need to buy for your recipes, right? This is the answer for some types of stuff. Picture frames are a prime example. How many times have you stashed one away as you made room for something, changed up the layout of a shelf or wall, or never had space for it to begin with? You probably have an accumulation of them waiting to be put to use.

DUMP IT OUT.

Literally, empty the box/drawer/shelf/bin of ‘stuff,’ sort through it, put back in what belongs and rehome what does not. This is also a great prevention technique for what we call "declutter rage" and the remorse that can follow.

definition from Artifcts for declutter rage

GET A LIST.

You should have online access—or be able to also request a report—from your insurance agent and lawyer (who helps with your will, trust, and/or estate plan), to confirm what items you’ve itemized on your policy or in a tangible asset memorandum. Is some object of sentimental value or financial value missing? Maybe you bought something new or simply forgot some items?

CREATE AN INVENTORY.

Despite an abundance of inventory apps on the market, fewer than 50% of people surveyed by the Insurance Information Institute said they have a home inventory. And yet when you are looking at natural catastrophes and household disasters, a complete home inventory is your best bet for replacement, including when you bought it, for how much, and the serial number.

Most inventory apps—including from the National Assoc. of Insurance Commissioners—support adding video of your home and/or using AI to itemize your belongings so you have at least a baseline reference as to what you own. Make sure you go into those drawers, cabinets, closets, etc., too. And if you start with a printed checklist—here's one of many free examples—we beg you to digitize a copy and submit it to your insurance, too.

Do your homework before you inventory anything! Some inventory apps are more than an inventory, which may actually be just what you need. For example, Fair Split offers a means to divide up estates when a loved one passes away.

ARTIFCT THAT!

Artifcts is clearly the best tool for capturing items that you care about most, for any reason. Artifcting is a multitasking achievement. Artifcts takes home inventory to a deeper level by focusing not just on what you own, but also why it matters. Items you Artifct could be valuable collectibles and collections, irreplaceable gifts and mementos, or simply things you love for reasons your own. If it matters to you, Artifct that. All Artifcts are private by default but can easily be shared digitally or downloaded.

The Artifcted home “inventory” is not only useful for replacement, capturing the condition and key details of items, but also deeply meaningful for you and your family.

Need Help Getting Started?

Depending on your needs, our Artifcts Concierge virtual or in-person services may be just what you need. There are also inventory and home organization professionals who can help you with home inventories. It’s really just about your priorities and where you want to start. If you need advice, reach out. We’re happy to help. We also encourage you to check out our Allies in ‘Stuff’ for more resources.

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January 12, 2025

DECLUTTERING & ORGANIZING

Home Organizing and Decluttering Tips to Steal from Movers and Downsizers

When I moved three times in as many years, I had no choice but to come to terms with what stuff I owned and whether it warranted a spot in a moving box, place on the truck, and space in my next home. Of course, in a pinch, and if space was not at a premium, I knew which boxes left unopened for multiple moves I could contentedly continue to ignore for another day and hand into the truck.

But that level of awareness is unique I think to people who move a lot. A professional home organizer told me recently that her clients get tripped up when decluttering and organizing a space because they have forgotten what was even in it. So, they rediscover items they already own and want to keep them and put them to use. There’s a human psychological phenomenon in play here. Namely, we tend to place greater value on items we already own.

Clients get tripped up when decluttering and organizing a space because they have forgotten what was even in it. - Home Organizer, Austin, Texas

Through Artifcts, my co-founder and I have spent an above average amount of time with people who are moving and/or downsizing as well as the professionals who assist them. Along the way, we have picked up on some tricks to help us with our own 'stuff’ of daily life and are eager to share them here with you to help reduce your day-to-day stress and enjoy your homes more.

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The Obvious Strategy: Pretend You’re Moving

Before we cover any true tips and life hacks, let’s just put it out there: Even if you have no intent on moving anytime soon, pretending you are and going zone by zone through your home can be an incredibly effective decluttering technique.

Few of us follow golden rules popularized by the likes of Martha Stewart when it comes to regularly refreshing all of our spaces, including those cabinets and closets, to remove dust and other debris. When you tackle one zone after another this strategy becomes a decluttering and home cleaning win all in one!

The Second Most Obvious: You Don’t Need It, but Someone Does

Decorative pillowcases, picture frames, books, and special glasses and dessert plates are great examples of this downsizing theme. Yes, it is perfectly good. Yes, it’s perfectly usable. But you have outgrown it. That’s okay! Tastes and preferences change. Your space has changed. You simply don’t need it. That’s life. You married your spouse, not the ‘stuff,’ so give yourself some grace and the permission to let it go. It's natural to let go of stuff.

How exactly should you go about letting go?

For some, the answer to this type of ‘stuff’ is charity. Temporary homes for abused persons and other displaced individuals often need the sort of TLC cozy and practical home goods and décor can offer. Donate locally! Or check our free Going Green guides for ideas.

For others, taking a page out of Margareta Magnusson’s book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, is just the ticket. And no, you don’t have to be dying or in your senior years to use this concept in your life. When it comes to ‘stuff,’ Magnusson reminds us that rehoming items not only lets us share the stories and value of them with loved ones now, but it helps us to live as comfortably and stress-free as possible without the burden stuff can become.

Add an Artifcts QR code to the item you are rehoming to ensure the stories and memories are passed down along with the actual item.

And if you do not want to use stickers, you can always print a QR code directly from your Artifct.

Shred and Digitize, Today not Tomorrow.

Accidentally accumulating paperwork—yes, including photos—to sort through another day? Do not take a shortcut and stick it all in a binder or bin. That's a Band-Aid. Let’s go for a sustainable and useful fix. Mass digitizing and shredding can immediately clear spaces in your home and the back of your mind from this sort of clutter.

Yes, it could mean you now have shifted it to digital clutter, but at least you freed up space and now that it’s digitized, it’s accessible when you are on the go, shareable and searchable, and protected from destruction by mother nature or theft. You can’t say that for a filing bin, cardboard box, or cabinet.

And your files are ready to upload into whatever app you are using for planning all of life’s nexts. Perhaps those cards, postcards, letters, photos, and pieces of kid art are ready for Artifcting along with their stories. Maybe you need to add that latest home insurance policy into your digital vault, like Trustworthy.

Done digitizing? Now recycle.

Piles with Timelines (#IveBeenMeaningTo)

When you are heading toward a move, you start clustering things naturally in your mind: making the move, heading to donation, must ask a friend/family member if they want it, selling this, etc. If you apply that logic on a daily life basis, and dedicate a strategy for each intent, you’ll have a great habit that keeps you decluttering regularly.

Perhaps you have an under-the-bed bin, a cute basket with a lid, or even a simple bag tucked into a closet where you can put anything you’re ready to donate.

Perhaps you Artifct sentimental and valuable items and set a reminder with the Artifcts “In the Future” feature to sell by a certain date. Or maybe instead you share that Artifct with a loved one to see if they want it (especially now that they know the story) before you sell, donate, or otherwise rehome it. The act of asking not only avoids traps that faulty assumptions might set, but it’s also a best practice in managing your family history estate.

Another reason those move piles work wonders? It’s visible progress. For the items that have already made it through your assessment and are keepers, we strongly encourage adding a QR code so that you (and everyone else who looks) can see this item matters and can scan to learn why.

(Re)Set Up Your Home for Convenience and Peace

One of the best parts of a move is setting up your home again. You have a blank slate. Nothing is stopping you from using this blank-slate strategy even if you are not moving:

1. 1. Grab a pen and paper or open up a blank note on your phone.
  2. Go room by room.
  3. Do you see any pain points, constantly cluttered areas, things that are broken or damaged? Note it all down.
  4. Review and prioritize for action.

Let’s walk through some examples.

Is it constantly irritating and slightly absurd that your hook for your reusable shopping bags is in the pantry and nowhere near the car you get into to go shopping? Move the hook.

How about the fact that naturally everyone in your home has some volume of clutter. And it’s everywhere, including on the counter, on the table, on the coffee table. I have a specific pen I love, a tape measurer, a set of Artifcts QR code stickers, and a book I’m reading, all of which I want readily accessible. Create a home for your clutter. I have a cute little pop-up crate on my bookshelf that holds these and other random items. Problem solved. (And, yes, my husband and daughter have crates, too. And we have a small one for common household stuff like scissors, tape, batteries, and a retractable utility knife.

three plastic crates in different sizes and colors stacked on each other

You can find these hay.com collapsible crates at MOMA, Design within Reach, and other online vendors in a variety of sizes and colors.

Furniture falls into this category, too, albeit we’re not always in the right place financially to do anything about it. But if you are, everyone who moves knows that you do not want to ship furniture that you always found uncomfortable, has a worn-out look that is not intentional or repairable, or is literally outgrown, like a toddler sized rocking chair. Sell or donate it, but either way, move it on out!

Schedule it.

When you’re on deadline, as in the moving trucks will arrive one month from today, you have no choice but to get stuff done. Many people already keep things running on a schedule at home anyway, e.g. how often the chimney is inspected, the air filters replaced, or the windows washed. Why wouldn’t you add decluttering to your schedule? Home is not just where you spend the majority of your time, but it is also a place that should help you to feel recharged and comfortable.

If daily or weekly sounds too intense, try monthly, as in, the third Sunday each month you schedule a specific space in your home for a once over. Sometimes it might be a “simple” drawer, other times you might schedule the front hall closet, because it’s a month when you know you’ll have more time. You do not need to make it a stretch goal. You just need to make the decluttering a reality.

And if you are truly under deadline, perhaps a guest is coming to stay, or you just feel overwhelmed, consider hiring a professional organizer to get you started with the most challenging spot for you.

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All of these strategies are about (re)organizing and removing things that drain your energy and provoke frustration so you can live your life more smoothly. We hope you test them out, revise to your liking, and reap the rewards.

Happy Artifcting!

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You may also be interested in these ARTIcles related to decluttering and downsizing:

#HabitChange: Rescue and Preserve Those Memories

15 Years In Storage: Now What? Tips Before & After You Store 'Stuff'

Sorry, Not Sorry: I Love My Stuff

by Ellen Goodwin, Artifcts

January 08, 2025

DECLUTTERING & ORGANIZING

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