Decluttering for Dementia

August is Make a Will month and although it is probably not a holiday (or month!) that we tend to celebrate, it's a topic that we should all address at some point or another. If you happen to be one of the nearly 12 percent of Americans on holiday this August and you're reading today's ARTIcle, nothing says I love you like sinking your toes into the sand next to your partner and striking up a conversation about end of life planning. 

We invited Rachel Donnelly, founder of AfterLight, co-founder of Professionals of After Loss Services, and author of Late to Your Own Funeral: How To Leave A Legacy And Not A Logjam, to join us for a conversation about one of the few things that is gauranteed in life (in addition to taxes and aging). Read on for Rachel's practical advice, tips, and conversation starters. There truly is no time like the present to have the conversation we may all be putting off (and off). 

Heather Nickerson, Co-Founder of Artifcts: Rachel, you are an after loss consultant. I think "after loss" is clear for all, but can you illuminate what services you provide in this role?

Rachel Donnelly: Sure! As an after loss consultant, I help people navigate the logistical and administrative tasks that are unavoidable after the death of a loved one. This role encompasses a wide range of responsibilities, including organizing and closing accounts, coordinating and completing forms, locating and securing necessary documents, and managing estate clean-outs or disposing of tangible personal property, as well as working with attorneys, financial advisors, and other professionals. I’m essentially the project manager you didn’t know you’d need when someone dies, helping clients navigate challenges like being overwhelmed, missteps, and missed deadlines.

Nickerson: So not all your services are necessarily offered literally after someone dies, sometimes it's about preparedness for that eventual reality we'll all face?

Donnelly: Yes, and after working with hundreds of clients, I know the common blind spots that people overlook as part of their estate planning and organization. I can serve as their “personal trainer” for estate organization, acting as an accountability partner and coach before something happens. That might mean organizing estate documents and digital assets, inventorying their belongings, or making sure their executor isn’t left guessing. Think of it as doing your loved ones a huge favor in advance. It’s the “leave a legacy and not a logjam” approach.

Nickerson: Who typically calls you in an after loss scenario? Is it the estate executor, aka next of kin, who really isn't sure what on earth to do now?

Donnelly: Yes. My client is usually the named executor, a surviving spouse, or an adult child who has just lost a parent. They're grieving and overwhelmed, confused about what to do first, and feel like they’re drowning in paperwork and tasks. That’s when I step in to bring order to the chaos.

Nickerson: What led you to take the leap from being the founder of your own after loss business at AfterLight to co-founding an organization to train others—Professionals of After Loss Services (PALS)?

Donnelly: What began as an informal networking group of women with businesses similar to mine has grown into the first and only dedicated community for after loss professionals. There is a significant need for professionals who are both trained and experienced in handling loss situations. While the field is growing quickly, there is still a gap in connection, consistency, and shared knowledge. We created PALS to close that gap by building a network of trained, vetted professionals who understand the unique needs of clients after a loss. Our mission is to raise the standard of care while fostering a supportive community of pros who truly “get it.” We bring together people who are passionate about helping families navigate the administrative and logistical challenges of settling an estate while grieving. Whether you already serve families after a loss or are exploring how to begin, PALS is the place to learn, connect, and grow. As we like to say at PALS, a rising tide lifts all boats.

Nickerson: Among PALS-trained professionals, are there subspecialties? For example, do some professionals work more with widows or with families who have lost a child?

Donnelly: Yes, absolutely. While all PALS-trained professionals have a strong foundation in after loss logistics, many bring their own unique backgrounds to the table. Some focus more on grief support, others on estate organizing or clean-outs. We also have professionals who specialize in working with widows, the sandwich generation, or solo agers. It’s not one-size-fits-all, and that is what makes the network so valuable.

Nickerson: You also have “The checklist of death," not something most people probably hear on a daily basis. Where do you see the most mistakes made? What is most commonly overlooked? What are the first three steps someone should take in nearly any after loss scenario?

Donnelly: I love that phrase because it’s real. The biggest mistake I see is people jumping straight into tasks like cleaning out the house or closing accounts without understanding that there is often a specific order these steps should be followed according to the estate plan. Skipping that order or protocol can create significant problems later.

Most commonly overlooked? Digital assets. People often forget about email, cloud accounts, subscriptions, and social media, which can hold financial, exchange, or sentimental value.

As for first steps, aside from the funeral or memorial:

1. Secure the home and cars, and forward the mail.
2. Locate the will, trust, and other important documents.
3. Make a detailed list of what they owe and what they own, which will be crucial during the estate settlement process.

Nickerson: And last but not least, you are an accomplished author. What’s the feedback been like on your new book? Are you hearing from readers about "ah ha" moments?

Donnelly: It’s been humbling and amazing. People tell me Late To Your Own Funeral: How To Leave A Legacy And Not A Logjam is the first book they’ve read on this topic that doesn’t make them feel like they’re reading a legal manual—or a eulogy. I’ve had so many people tell me they’ve given this to their aging parents, who would never even broach the subject with them, and now they’re meeting with attorneys and formalizing their estate planning documents. One woman said, “This made me laugh, cry, and then finally get my affairs in order.” That’s exactly what I was going for: clarity, empathy, and a little irreverence to make it all feel more doable.

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Interested in learning more about becoming a Professional of After Loss Services? Join Rachel and our co-founder Heather at the Professionals of After Loss Services Conference this October in Atlanta, GA. Click here for more details. 

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Estate sales truly are about the thrill of the hunt for so many. The unique and unexpected finds, like that one cool item that's kind of kitsch and adds a pop of surprise to an otherwise sophisticated room. Or a fun element like an old brooch or cocktail ring paired with a nice outfit already in your closet. Other finds may be years and even decades in the making, alerts set for the item with every known estate sale, auction, and re-sell shop globally. 

If you’ve never been to an estate sale, you might feel a bit intimidated. You might feel like everyone knows the ins and outs, and you’ll be at a disadvantage both in terms of getting the items you are seeking and naming the right price.  

While there are practically “pro” estate sales shoppers out there in the world, most are curious folks out for some unexpected finds. Grab a friend and read our article to help ease you in and find joy in the hunt. You may even walk away with a story or two to share at your next party.

Finding an Estate Sale and Your “It” Item

Pop onto EstateSales.net, or your preferred estate sales website, to set a search radius (in miles) for how far from a location you’d like to be notified about upcoming estate sales. Some people like to stick close to home, and others love nothing more than a road trip for a great find. 

Then you can start browsing upcoming sales in a way that was not possible years ago. Why? Because now many estate sales are hybrid, showcasing a catalog of items that are auctioned online and other items that will be available only in-person the day of the sale. The online catalog is your “personal thrifting assistant,” according to Marika Clemow, Senior Vice President of Auction Technology Group, boosting your confidence and helping you scope your goals. 

While we’re all familiar with the expression, “Go big, or go home,” you might want to set that aside when it comes to estate sales and instead start small and focused. Set alerts and bookmark items of interest.  

Now, the “day of” experience. You’re lucky, because the most irksome of estate sales attributes is transforming – the line! Traditionally you had to show up hours before the sale, add your name to a list, and wait in line, creating stress for you, subjecting you to poor weather, and often irking the neighbors. But things are changing! Agents who run their sales through EstateSales.net can now allow you to reserve your spot in line and be notified when it’s your turn. It’s just like when you get on the waitlist at a restaurant. That’s a major victory for all. 

Once inside, what do you do? Very likely you make a beeline for the priority items you’ve scoped out online ahead of time. But if you’re just showing up unexpectedly or to be surprised, lovely, meander and enjoy.  

Unlike a museum, you’re encouraged to touch and inspect the items. And you’re certainly encouraged to ask questions. Whomever is working at the estate sale should be well versed in the provenance and backstories of interesting items. If you’re lucky, they’ve Artifcted them and you can simply scan the Artifcts QR code to learn more and take that story home with you.

Who’s Shopping Estate Sales?

Estate sales generally have a little something for everyone. We’re lumping buyers into four categories to give you a feel for the type of people you’ll encounter and how who is shopping can affect the mood and dynamic at a sale. 

The curious, #TreasureHunter. These shoppers enjoy the estate sale for the surprise finds and niche wins. It’s not about turning a profit. They are more inclined to negotiate, amicably browse, share their experience, and preserve stories, too. (Ahem, Artifct those finds!)

Value seekers, #BudgetConscious. Thrifting means saving money on life essentials —e.g., clothes, tools, appliances, holiday decorations, furnishings and more—by choosing well-made and good condition secondhand items. The bonus with estate sales, of course, is the abundant variety, cataloged for easy browsing. Hard to say that about most in-person consignment stores never mind thrift stores! 

The curators and collectors, #CuratedNotCluttered. Still on the enjoyment and story side of the equation but with extensive research and knowledge and a very specific items or set of items on their target list. They will not deviate. They will look at the details to authenticate items. They will not be so inclined to negotiate with other buyers and will be prepared to drive a hard bargain with the sellers.  

The flippers and hustlers, #TurnAProfit. Check out Reddit and you’ll find an abundance of complaints about this type of shopper for everything from vinyl albums and games to sporting goods. They may “hoard” items so they can assess the resale value on the spot, frustrating other shoppers behind them in line. But beware – outside of exceptionally bad behavior, a sale is a sale is a sale.

Uniting these four types of estate sales shoppers? Unlike people who may exclusively take their search online through the likes of Everything but the House, estate sales enthusiasts still love the tactile world of retail. To see, touch, learn in objects’ native environments, with the opportunity to ask questions is part of the experience they seek.

Who are Estate Sales Agents?

It’s worth taking a moment to discuss the person behind the curtain, so to speak. Who are the estate sales agents behind the businesses running these sales? According to a 2024 survey by EstateSales.net, 68% of estate sales business owners are over the age of 55. They've moved on to their 2nd or 3rd careers and bring with them incredible life experience.

But a new generation of owners is coming on the scene, too. A generation prioritizing mission driven work and ideally work that supports a more sustainable, earth friendly future. If nothing else, estate sales are certainly all that.

We talk about re-homing items we Artifct all the time to avoid landfills and waste, like in our story, “Who Wants This Rocking Chair?” Estate sales support sustainability, providing the means to upcycle and recycle remainders as second and third lines of defense. And they are working! Check out trends in estate cleanouts that we covered in, “Insider’s Look at What It Means to Clean Out an Estate.”

Not Ready for an Estate Sale? Try Virtual Sales and Auctions

If you’re not ready or able to show up in-person at an estate sale, we understand. The same channels through which people re-sell “pre-loved” items in lieu of or sometimes in addition to estate sales can become your testing ground for setting up alerts for items of interest to you and only buying what you’re truly seeking.

Check out these in-person and online retailers where you can browse and set alerts for items of interest.

Listed in alphabetical order.

GENERAL HOME GOODS  

• • • Auction Ninja, “The hunt starts here,” auctionninja.com  
    • Bidrush, "Local downsizing & estate online auctions,” go.bidrush.com 
    • Ebay, "Things. People. Love.," ebay.com 
    • EstateSales.net, “Find estate sales, tag sales, and auctions,” estatesales.net 
    • Etsy, "Global marketplace for unique and creative goods," etsy.com 
    • Facebook marketplace, buy and sell locally and nationwide, www.facebook.com/marketplace
    • LiveAuctioneers, "Let's go treasure hunting: auctions for one-of-a-kind art, antiques & luxury goods," liveauctioneers.com  
    • OfferUp, "The simpler way to buy and sell locally," offerup.com    
    • Whatnot, "The live shopping marketplace," whatnot.com 

LUXURY AND OTHER HIGHER END GOODS AND COLLECTIBLES 

• • • 1stDibs, "The most beautiful things on earth: Antique and modern furniture, jewelry, fashion, & art," 1stdibs.com 
    • Auction houses, such as Bonhams, Doyle, Heritage Auctions, and Nye & Company 
    • Chairish, www.chairish.com
    • Poshmark, "Buy, sell, and discover fashion, home decor, beauty, and more," poshmark.com  
    • The RealReal, "Where luxury is yours to define," therealreal.com 
    • Specialty antiques and collectibles dealers (too numerous to list - search online based on your item)

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

You know the expression, "If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Well, we wonder, if you connect all the dots of your family history and no one knows about it, did it happen? 

Today's ARTIcles story is all about how we can share our family history so that the content and the message, aka stories, are actually received. To set the stage, we're sharing the inspiration for this article, a message from a woman we'll call Susan, who is a hobbyist genealogist, and who we think is not alone in her frustration. She reached out to us via Facebook Messenger back in March with a humourous headline: "True Story: My Family Refuses to Look at My Family Tree."

Here's a rough summary of what Susan had to say about her frustrations in trying to share family history with her relatives:

“My parents and siblings ask me for historical details about our family all the time.  

• • • When was that again that they came over from France? And what part of France was it?  
    • Do you have a photo of Great Grandpa {last name}?  
    • Did we have any {bank robbers, poets, craftsmen, ... } in the family? 
    • Is the family burial plot in {city} the only family plot? 
    • Did anyone in our family serve in {name of war}? 

And I have come to realize I have no great way of sharing my findings with my family because they refuse to create accounts and sign into any of the genealogy software systems I use.

I’m in my late 50s and many of my siblings and in-laws are a lot older than me, so maybe technology is a factor. But I think it’s more that they simply want the answer, not what they see as the gory black and white details we genealogists love.

That said, even with the younger ones, the nieces and nephews, the second I flash a family tree or mention “Your great grandpa on your mother’s side… ,” they zone out.

That means I usually end up sending information by text message and email. But then they lose that quickly and it doesn’t get shared with everyone, so I have to repeat this work over and over again. It takes the joy out of it.

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Better Options than Text, Email, or Intimidating Websites to Share Family History 

There are so many options available to help you share your family history discoveries, all those dots you’ve connected, black and white facts found, that will save your sanity and keep your family better connected with their history now and long into the future.  

Stick with links.* Share website links to directly relevant pieces of a family tree, photos, or documents that you might have in MyHeritage, Ancestry, FamilySearch or the like to prioritize your time and sanity. Like Susan, this is where you are comfortable operating. If they are truly interested, they can follow the simple steps to create an account. And there is usually a free option for them to do so. If that’s not the case, tell them the price and/or tell them how to sign up at a discount if you know there is a free trial period, a discount code available, or a sale coming up. Since you so kindly sent them a link, they won't have to dig - you'll guide them to exactly where the answer awaits.

Grant access to your cloud storage.* If you keep your research in a cloud-based system (like Google Drive, DropBox, Box etc.), give family members permission to view specific folders or bits of information that answer their questions, such as photos, documents, and maps. This simple approach is still better than losing things in email or text.

And please plan for the transfer of your digital genealogy assets upon death in your estate plan so all these family history treasures can be passed on to the next generation. 

* Remember that anyone can share a link but granting permission to access what that link leads to may require another step. So, with either of these first two options you may get others coming to you to request access to the same information because someone gave them the link. Hopefully the genealogy software or cloud solution you use automates that all to make it easy on you! 

Scan the photo or document, and Artifct That! There are many great app- and desktop-based options out there to scan a picture or document that you as the family keeper may be holding onto, such as the “Notes” app on many phones or the Photomyne subscription app. If you’d like assistance digitizing media, you can hire a professional photo manager, pop into a local shop that specializes in digitization and/or archival preservation, or check local libraries and genealogy centers for digitization resources, like the Vivid-Pix scan stations.

Scan those photos and docs and then do not let them get lost in text messages or 100s of photos back in a folder.

Artifct in the moment where you can then record the story and details and share with your loved ones before moving on to the next piece of the puzzle. But share where? You can ...

... Create Artifcts Circles. You can create as many Artifcts Circles, with as many people in them, as you like, for free. Think of circles like chat groups – anyone who accepts your invite can then share their Artifcts to the circle, too. You can even name another admin to add/remove people, too. People you invite need only to create a free Artifcts account to accept your Circle invitation and create and share up to five free Artifcts with the Circle, too!  

• • • Sharing your stories and discoveries with Circle members means you are no longer the single point of failure or truth. Everyone will have access anytime, anywhere. But again, make sure in you've listed your primary and secondary legacy contacts in your Artifcts account settings so your Artifcts can live on. 
    • And you can crowdsource with Artifcts Circles, too. Have a gap you’re trying to fill in the tree? Wishing you had more family heirlooms, photos, or documents to back up your research? When people and estates are dispersed through time, it’s easy to forget who has what that may help to fill those gaps.  
    • Ask family to Artifct and share with the Circle. Yes, it may be more family lore than history or genealogy, but the lore is often equally as valuable to any facts you have collected. Lore is the character and color of the family history that has survived and can provide clues along your way – Artifct that! Get step-by-step details and inspiration for family circles here >

Have Fun Preserving and Swapping Stories

Next time you and your family get together, pick a theme in advance, and ask everyone to contribute to an Artifcts Circle.  

Among our favorites:  

• • • Oldest family photo 
    • Favorite heirloom 
    • Secret/not-so-secret family recipe

Suggest everyone use the same tag for instant sorting of the Artifcts in the Circle to see just those created for this activity, e.g. #PicChallenge25, #Reunion25recipe.

Happy Artifcting!

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.