Former CIA Officer Tackles Genealogical Puzzles and Dead-Ends

For many of us, summertime means time with extended family, maybe even “sleepaways” with Grandma and Grandpa. We should all be so lucky!

In the spirit of quality time together at any time of the year, we sat down this summer to interview a granddaughter-grandmother duo who have spent occasional Saturdays throughout the past couple of years Artifcting together. We wanted to learn why they took up Artifcting and any tips they have for other intergenerational pairs who plan to connect with each other through Artifcts.

In case you’re short on time, here was what they each wanted to be sure you knew: 

Granddaughter: I never spent time one on one with my grandma. We see each other a lot, she only lives 45 minutes away, but all of our gatherings involve my siblings and/or at least one of my parents, too. Plus, I was going away to college soon and knew I wouldn’t see her much for a while. 

Artifcts is easy to use, easy to share, which was critical. I knew my dad would love the Artifcts, too. He’s a big storyteller. The biggest surprise about Artifcting was that it totally changed how I think of my grandma, and I feel closer to her than ever.  

It was never a chore. I wanted to be with her. 

Grandma: No one can sit still these days, never mind exist without their cell phone.  

My granddaughter is funny and an artist, too. I’m always interested in what she’s doing. I didn’t think she was interested in my stories from the old days. But once I told her a story or two from living abroad in my 20s, she kept coming back to ask for more stories.  

It wasn’t my plan, but I started to give away items I had collected, too. Not just to her. I had her bring items to others because once I told the story, I knew who would enjoy it and would give it a good home. And you know what? Not once did they say to her that they didn’t want it. They loved the stories! 

You may also be interested in our ARTIcles by Artifcts about Swedish death cleaning. 

Tips for Artifcting with Your Grandparents

Above all else, don’t let the age difference get in the way. Fun fact: A 2006 study by researchers from Duke University and the University of Aarhus found that older respondents feel 20% younger than their actual age. So your grandparents may very well respond to you as though they are much younger than they are! 

But as far as true age goes, be mindful of how your respective ages might require a breath or two to (a) break down any awkwardness, (b) explain the purpose and process of Artifcts, and (c) find the right pace for your Artifcting together. Here are tips other grandchildren offered from their Artifcting experiences: 

1. Be ready. Create a few Artifcts for yourself before arriving.  

Use whatever device you plan to use when Artifcting with your grandma/grandpa to avoid any stress or delays in the process. (Artifcts note: We have a series of tips videos, too, if needed.) And if they want to Artifct on their own, share one of your unlimited Artifcts accounts with them and help them set it up.

Bring an Artifct That! Kit with you so you are not asking them for these supplies to support your Artifcting, and review our tips for taking photos of objects.

Also, if you know they plan to move or downsize, help them out by adding dimensions to their Artifcts, using helpful tags (e.g., #attic, #livingroom, #hallcloset), and filling in that ‘In the Future’ field too – does Grandpa want to sell this item, donate it, bequeath it?

2. Explain yourself! Share what Artifcts is, why you want to Artifct together, and how it will help them to share the memories and value behind all these objects with other family, friends, and potentially advisors (estate attorneys, insurance agents, wealth managers). 

3. Again, they may be older, but they were young once, too. One granddaughter said she felt like her grandma was a 20-year-old person in an 81-year-old body. Once they started to talk, the decades between them melted away. Talk with respect, listen with still greater respect, and remember they were your age once, too! 

4. Breaks are good for everyone. If you are creating Artifct after Artifct for grandma/grandpa, you’ll want a break. Eventually they will, too. It's hard to be “on” for so long and you’ll need to stretch your legs. Go for a walk, grab a coffee, or call it a day and come back again sometime soon. 

5. Hold those assumptions. Just because that portrait or vase has always been featured in a seemingly special location in their home doesn’t mean it’s what they value most. Start by asking about an object you are interested in. Then ask them to pick an item and see where it leads you both. 

6. Make sure they know you truly do want their stories. This is not homework. No one sent you. You are curious. Now, in reality, there may be details they aren’t comfortable sharing with you, and that’s okay. Avoid rushing them, embrace pauses, and let them take the lead. 

7. Ask first. Before you grab an object or take a picture, especially if they are in the picture, ask their permission so it’s clear this collaboration is on their own terms. Maybe they are more comfortable recording using their voice only instead of on video. Or maybe Grandma got all dolled up and is ready for her spotlight. Be respectful of their space and their person and ask first.  

8. Don’t argue. You may have heard the story told another way by your parents or another family member. Think of it as a difference of perspective. Record it faithfully. This may make for some fun conversation the next time the whole family is around the table as you parse through tall tales and family lore.

This is especially important if you are Artifcting with someone with any stage of cognitive decline. Let the conversation flow. Be an active, supportive listener, not a domineering guide. 

You may also be interested in these ARTIcles by Artifcts about dementia.

Tips for Artifcting with Your Grandkids

You didn’t think this was a one-way street, did you? Your grandkids may in fact have short attention spans and very narrow or different interests than your own. But this is your home, your life, so enjoy the element of surprise as you share never-before-heard stories that will capture their attention and imagination.

1. Gather a few objects in advance. If you have picked a few items you want to share, it will remove any hesitation to dive in once they arrive.  

2. Find a comfortable place. If you prefer to be in the living room, then guide them there from the get-go. Ideally your location has nice natural lighting so they can snap some nice pictures of the items and maybe even record you on video, too, if you’re game. 

3. Is anything off limits? Let them know if there are people or times of life you do not want to talk about. Conversely, if you want to talk about your parents, your career, your passion for {hobby}, let them know, and have photos, objects and other things on hand to guide the Artifcts conversation in that direction. 

4. Do you need any help with these objects? Perhaps you’ve decided to sell a collection, donate certain items, or pass keepsakes along to family members and friends. Make sure you note your intentions in each Artifcts’ ‘In the Future’ field. If your grandchild is of the appropriate age, maybe they can help get the ‘stuff’ where you want it to go next. If not, download your collection and choose the ‘Up Next Report’ to download and share with loved ones who can help you begin to downsize and/or declutter. 

5. Enjoy. Let them do the Artifcting, like your own very own biographer. That said, if you’d like to surprise loved ones with Artifcts after your grandchild has left, make sure they show you in the ins and outs of Artifcts so you feel comfortable Artifcting and sharing Artifcts from your own account and your own device.

Happy Artifcting!

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Hello Arti Community! 

It's Ellen here, co-founder of Artifcts. We emailed you all a few weeks ago when Heather and I first discovered Fracture and promised to reveal the rest of the story of our first experience printing photos to glass. More specifically, I shared that I had chosen a hilarious print for my first photo to glass purchase, and I hope this one does not disappoint.

I’ve never been a massive collector. Too much stuff stresses me out. (And it means more to dust!) 

But I’ve always been someone who likes to weave friends and family into my family’s home via artwork they’ve created, heirlooms I’ve inherited, or mementos from travels together. If those things include pops of color, even better. 

Well, about a month ago, a friend of mine who is on an epic 3-month RV road trip with her two dogs shared with me a story about Mercedes the alpaca. I was having a rough morning, so opening up her note to see Mercedes staring at me left me with no choice but to laugh. How could I not?

Fast forward to wanting to choose that first photo on glass with Fracture and having a blank space on the wall in my master bathroom, I knew JUST the photo to choose. For anyone thinking it’s crazy to decorate a bathroom, I ask “Why?” How many times do you see in tv shows and movies characters standing in front of a bathroom mirror psyching themselves up for a big game or meeting? Any room in your house can be inspiring, even the bathroom.

And, really, look at Mercedes. She’s hilarious. And my friend’s story comparing herself to Mercedes makes this pic still funnier. I’ll see the pic, laugh, think of my friend, and prepare for my day. A triple win.

_______________

If you’ll indulge me just one more moment of your time, I want to share with you all that I’ll departing Artifcts at the end of this month. I’ll remain co-founder always and ardent Artifcter, too. But, as this is my final ARTIcles story for you all, I want to say thank you. Thank you for reading our blog, sharing your stories, and celebrating the growth of Artifcts with us. It’s been a joy to write for you, inspire you and be inspired by you, and swap Artifcts with you, too. (Never shared an Artifct with me? Please do! I’m @Egoody.)

I hope you find bursts of Mercedes-esque joy in your own lives every day. Let the ‘stuff’ you surround yourself with bring you happiness and connect you with all whom you love.

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

August is Make a Will month and although it is probably not a holiday (or month!) that we tend to celebrate, it's a topic that we should all address at some point or another. If you happen to be one of the nearly 12 percent of Americans on holiday this August and you're reading today's ARTIcles story, nothing says I love you like sinking your toes into the sand next to your partner and striking up a conversation about end of life planning. 

We invited Rachel Donnelly, founder of AfterLight, co-founder of Professionals of After Loss Services, and author of Late to Your Own Funeral: How To Leave A Legacy And Not A Logjam, to join us for a conversation about one of the few things that is gauranteed in life (in addition to taxes and aging). Read on for Rachel's practical advice, tips, and conversation starters. There truly is no time like the present to have the conversation we may all be putting off (and off). 

Heather Nickerson, Co-Founder of Artifcts: Rachel, you are an after loss consultant. I think "after loss" is clear for all, but can you illuminate what services you provide in this role?

Rachel Donnelly: Sure! As an after loss consultant, I help people navigate the logistical and administrative tasks that are unavoidable after the death of a loved one. This role encompasses a wide range of responsibilities, including organizing and closing accounts, coordinating and completing forms, locating and securing necessary documents, and managing estate clean-outs or disposing of tangible personal property, as well as working with attorneys, financial advisors, and other professionals. I’m essentially the project manager you didn’t know you’d need when someone dies, helping clients navigate challenges like being overwhelmed, missteps, and missed deadlines.

Nickerson: So not all your services are necessarily offered literally after someone dies, sometimes it's about preparedness for that eventual reality we'll all face?

Donnelly: Yes, and after working with hundreds of clients, I know the common blind spots that people overlook as part of their estate planning and organization. I can serve as their “personal trainer” for estate organization, acting as an accountability partner and coach before something happens. That might mean organizing estate documents and digital assets, inventorying their belongings, or making sure their executor isn’t left guessing. Think of it as doing your loved ones a huge favor in advance. It’s the “leave a legacy and not a logjam” approach.

Nickerson: Who typically calls you in an after loss scenario? Is it the estate executor, aka next of kin, who really isn't sure what on earth to do now?

Donnelly: Yes. My client is usually the named executor, a surviving spouse, or an adult child who has just lost a parent. They're grieving and overwhelmed, confused about what to do first, and feel like they’re drowning in paperwork and tasks. That’s when I step in to bring order to the chaos.

Nickerson: What led you to take the leap from being the founder of your own after loss business at AfterLight to co-founding an organization to train others—Professionals of After Loss Services (PALS)?

Donnelly: What began as an informal networking group of women with businesses similar to mine has grown into the first and only dedicated community for after loss professionals. There is a significant need for professionals who are both trained and experienced in handling loss situations. While the field is growing quickly, there is still a gap in connection, consistency, and shared knowledge.

We created PALS to close that gap by building a network of trained, vetted professionals who understand the unique needs of clients after a loss. Our mission is to raise the standard of care while fostering a supportive community of pros who truly “get it.” We bring together people who are passionate about helping families navigate the administrative and logistical challenges of settling an estate while grieving. Whether you already serve families after a loss or are exploring how to begin, PALS is the place to learn, connect, and grow. As we like to say at PALS, a rising tide lifts all boats.

Nickerson: Among PALS-trained professionals, are there subspecialties? For example, do some professionals work more with widows or with families who have lost a child?

Donnelly: Yes, absolutely. While all PALS-trained professionals have a strong foundation in after loss logistics, many bring their own unique backgrounds to the table. Some focus more on grief support, others on estate organizing or clean-outs. We also have professionals who specialize in working with widows, the sandwich generation, or solo agers. It’s not one-size-fits-all, and that is what makes the network so valuable.

Nickerson: You also have “The checklist of death," not something most people probably hear on a daily basis. Where do you see the most mistakes made? What is most commonly overlooked? What are the first three steps someone should take in nearly any after loss scenario?

Donnelly: I love that phrase because it’s real. The biggest mistake I see is people jumping straight into tasks like cleaning out the house or closing accounts without understanding that there is often a specific order these steps should be followed according to the estate plan. Skipping that order or protocol can create significant problems later.

Most commonly overlooked? Digital assets. People often forget about email, cloud accounts, subscriptions, and social media, which can hold financial, exchange, or sentimental value.

As for first steps, aside from the funeral or memorial:

1. 1. 1. Secure the home and cars, and forward the mail.
      2. Locate the will, trust, and other important documents.
      3. Make a detailed list of what they owe and what they own, which will be crucial during the estate settlement process.

Nickerson: And last but not least, you are a published author. What’s the feedback been like on your new book? Are you hearing from readers about "ah ha" moments?

Donnelly: It’s been humbling and amazing. People tell me Late To Your Own Funeral: How To Leave A Legacy And Not A Logjam is the first book they’ve read on this topic that doesn’t make them feel like they’re reading a legal manual—or a eulogy. I’ve had so many people tell me they’ve given this to their aging parents, who would never even broach the subject with them, and now they’re meeting with attorneys and formalizing their estate planning documents. One woman said, “This made me laugh, cry, and then finally get my affairs in order.” That’s exactly what I was going for: clarity, empathy, and a little irreverence to make it all feel more doable.

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Interested in learning more about becoming a Professional of After Loss Services? Join Rachel and our co-founder Heather at the Professionals of After Loss Services Conference this October in Atlanta, GA. Click here for more details. 

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.