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My Family Wants Me to Tell My Stories. Help!

March 06, 2024

Reading time: 3 minutes 

Feeling pressured to tell your life stories?

Has a loved one given you a questionnaire or a book to write in about your life that feels like another to-do?

Does it contain absurdly challenging and broad questions like, "What's one of the most seminal moments of your life?"

Are you receiving tips on how to “express yourself” or make your stories “entertaining," "thoughtful," or "compelling" and don’t really know where to begin?

(Are you the one creating the pressure?! Keep reading. Today's article is also for you!)

The Story Burden: What Is It?

Maybe you're not a great writer, maybe you don't want to commit the time, or maybe you don't think you have good stories to tell. But "they" are asking you to write or record your stories anyway and maybe even throwing money at it via well-intentioned gifts to encourage you. That is what we call the "story burden."

We know the pressure comes from a heartfelt place. Our friends and family may think we and our stories are worth preserving and sharing. And the storytelling industry wants to help us structure our stories to capture people’s attention in an increasingly distracted world.

At the same time, these story pressures can snowball and become a giant turnoff. The well-intentioned tips, classes, and frameworks may backfire and prevent us from making progress. And progress, not perfection, is what matters, just as much as what “they” want. Right?

Name Your Own Story Goal

You can't get there, if you don't know where you're going. What is your goal in recording your stories, no matter the format you select? Perhaps your goal looks like one of these:

      • Private, diary-like reflections that maybe you'll share one day with a chosen few.
      • Recording bits of your personal and family history to share your knowledge with your loved ones.
      • Capturing moments and memories that made you and others smile before the details slip away. Could make up the pieces to a great memoir one day!

No matter your goal, consider the strategies we've gathered below to see if any will help you make progress without that burden stories can create.

Time-Tested Story Capture Strategies

STORY PROMPT BOOKS AND CHECKLISTS

Lacking inspiration, a jumping off point? Download a free checklist of interview questions. A great question source is the independent non-profit StoryCorps (check out the podcast, too) and it's FREE collection of life story questions aross 17 categories. Or you could purchase a story prompt book like this one to work through at your pace. These resources will avoid set schedules and fixed costs so you don't have to worry if you fall out of sync with their pace or wonder if you're getting good value for your money. It's free or a one-time fee!

If you're motivated by, let's say, a treat now and then, you could even eat your way to stories. Our co-founder Ellen loves good old-fashion soft caramels and was shocked how game her family was to answer the questions wrapped around each of these caramels during the holidays. Talk about low pressure! 

SUBSCRIPTION STORY SERVICES

Need more motivation? Subscription services like Storyworth and many others can send you regular prompts by email or have someone call you and by answering them in a timely fashion, by yearend, you’ll have enough fodder to complete and purchase your responses in a book format. For additional fees, you can even add color photos, additional pages, and special covers.

SUPPORT FROM A PRO!

Not happening without human intervention? Hire a life story pro to interview you and write your story. Whether a short 30-minute session to scratch the surface or a full life story multi-month endeavor, you can find an option to fit your goals and budget and remove the pressure from you to pull it all together. There are an abundance of companies that will do this and range greatly in price from $150/hour to a few thousand for a limited scope to $10k-15k and more for multi-month in-person biographies of the highest quality.

Bite-Sized Stories with Artifcts 

We heard a lot about the story burden as we began the research for what became Artifcts. We knew we had to do better and create something innovative that would avoid the story pressure while integrating the best of the tried and tested techniques of story telling AND sharing.

What's remarkable about every Artifct you create is the simple choice as to WHAT you Artifct already speaks volumes. The "story" becomes a bonus, a bonus that can be one simple word—e.g. Dad’s—or a 5,000+ word story.

Colorful floral pattern on dark background tea tin

At Artifcts, you can proceed at your own pace. You won't lose the value of the book you never completed if you don't finish by the end of the year. An Artifct a day, Tuesday evenings with Artifcts, weekend pick me up, seasonal themes, or work your way through one of our amazing checklists inspired by the Arti Community ... whatever works. for. you! No deadline, no quota to meet. 

What's remarkable about every Artifct you create is the simple choice as to WHAT you Artifct already speaks volumes.

We love that Artifcts are also easily shareable to someone who may be assisting you with family history research, writing a memoir, or creating a family videography, saving you countless hours searching for, sharing, and annotating the materials when you’re ready to take that next step. We have great Allies in ‘Stuff’ who can support you and have many more in our “rolodex” if memoirs and personal or family videographies and genealogies are on your mind. Reach out. We’re happy to help: Editor@Artifcts.com

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Oldies-But-Goodies: Summer Reading List from the Artifcts Archives

If you're anything like us, you probably have your favorite newsletters piling up in your inboxes all week, all month, all quarter long. We know how great they are, loaded with useful information, new research, fun tips and more, but the days can be so full. And we want to devote our attention to them, so we save them and wait until we have more time. Is summer that time for you?

If ARTIcles by Artifcts is new to you or piling up from your busy days and months, we’ve compiled a few of our favorites from over the years into your next summer reading list, perfect for your next roadtrip, airplane ride, or other adventure over your summer holidays.

While creating this list made us a bit nostalgic, it also reminded us why we’re here – helping us all to transform our relationships to our ‘stuff’ and to each other, one memory, one story, one Artifct at a time. Enjoy!  

Artifcts Co-founder Heather Nickerson’s Summer Reading List 

USE ARTIFCTS TIMELINES TO ENRICH YOUR FAMILY HISTORY

Have you tried keeping track of your family history? Although I'm a 12th generation Nickerson, I am allergic to genealogy apps or any type of software that makes me feel like I’m embarking on a senior thesis project. Artifcts Timelines however are a (nice cool summer) breeze. Read now -->

A FAMILY HISTORY IN FIVE ARTIFCTS 

When push comes to shove, could you tell your life story in five Artifcts? Which Artifcts would you choose? I’m not sure I could, which is why I love this piece. Read now --> 

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH STUFF: THE SANDWICH GENERATION

These days I'm feeling more like a panini than a sandwich, trying to plan for yet another move with all our 'stuff' while working full time at Artifcts. This one speaks to all of us who are trying to juggle kids, parents, four-legged dependents, and our jobs, and not always in that order. Read now --> 

A VIRTUAL IMPOSSIBILITY OF KEEPING UP WITH ALL MY DIGITAL PHOTOS 

Guilty as charged. This will be mandatory reading for EVERY family member this summer as I refuse to pay for yet another upgrade to our Apple storage plan. Read now -->

15 DECLUTTERING TARGETS FOR ARTIFCTERS

It's actionable, and as my youngest used to say, “Chop, chop!” I think my father is secretly looking forward to a couple of extra helping hands this summer as we tackle the basement with this list in hand. Read now -->

Artifcts Co-founder Ellen Goodwin’s Summer Reading List 

SOUNDS OF SUMMER – VINYL EDITION 

Music is magical. We use it to teach. We use it to celebrate and recover. We even use it to reconnect with loved ones who have been robbed of so much by dementia, but the powerful memories of music bring them joy. What music would make your ‘best of’ cut? Read now -->

FROM RARE ART TO FAMILY HEIRLOOMS: TIPS FROM A MASTER AS YOU CONSIDER SELLING YOUR ‘STUFF’ 

Too often we are our own worst enemies, procrastinating, inflating expectations, and worse when it comes to downsizing and decluttering objects we own. We've taken to heart the perspective and truths that Antiques Roadshow host Lark Mason shared with us from his decades of experience working with families as they auctioned away pieces of their family history. Read now -->

FIVE LESSONS FROM ARTIFCTING WITH MY MOTHER (+ The Epilogue!) 

Artifcting is about connection, one on one, in groups, as communities. This story comes from the heart, offering guidelines to make the most of your time Artifcting with your loved ones. Read now --> 

PINT-SIZED PERSPECTIVE ON DECLUTTERING & MOVING 

It can be hard to be 5, 6, or 7, or any age under 18 really. So little control over nearly everything! This article is about bringing kids into the decluttering and downsizing game to give them back some control as you prepare to move. Don’t miss a more recent article on this theme from our friend Matt Paxton, too. Read now --> 

HOW TO TAKE PICTURES OF OBJECTS AT HOME 

The team at Artifcts wants to support you as much as possible, every step of the way. So when our members ask us for tips—like how to take nice pictures of ‘stuff’—we do everything we can to respond and help. Aesthetics matter! Details matter! If you want to level up from our at-home advice, we collected photo tips from a pro, too. Read now -->

We wish you all the best over these summer months. Happy reading, happy Artifcting!

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Read more
Who Wants Your Family China?

Last week while out walking my dog, I ran into a neighbor. As usual, we started chatting, and 20 minutes later my dog had given up and laid down realizing the walk was on pause.

My neighbor had just returned from a trip to see her son, daughter-in-law, and grandbabies out in Utah. During her visit, she updated her family on some remodeling and upgrades at the family home in Austin. As a part of this process, she’d been required to relocate items around the house to make room for the contractors to do their thing.

By actually picking up and taking stock of items she hadn’t even thought about in years, and being an avid fan of Artifcts, she paused to think, “What is all this? Why am I holding onto it? What am I going to do with it next?”

She told her son she planned to donate the family china sets—yes, plural—and probably even old leaded crystal glasses and bowls that had fallen into disuse. “I know you don’t want my stuff. I read about it in the paper every day. I get it.”

Except, she was wrong.  

Her daughter-in-law did not see it as sentimental clutter, as many her age tend to do. She intsead chimed in, "Didn't one of the sets belong to Alex's great grandmother?“ It had, and her daughter-in-law said, "In that case, I want it. It’s family. Same goes for the crystal.”

Future Options for Your China Set

The irony, according to my neighbor, is that while her daughter-in-law may want her china and crystal, shipping it will be expensive, and it will almost certainly sit in their storage unit in Utah. They live in an adorable bungalow where there’s no space for china.

“I hope I can take it to them myself the next time I take a road trip out to see them. Somehow it makes her feel good to hold onto it. That’s fine by me as long as I don’t have to!”

If your china set has fallen into disuse, think carefully through your options:

Sell

We think that for you to make the best decision, you need all the facts. If you intend to sell your china, do not expect it to be a major money maker. Better to be okay with “something is better than nothing” even if we all know there are wild exceptions out there in the world, like these ceramic plates that sold for over $25,000 at auction.

A simple online search can give you an idea of what your set is selling for in the current market. Because of shipping costs, you’re likely constrained, but for some china (because of the designer, pattern, or quality) shipping may not a barrier. You might discover a single plate will sell for $85 or $3. Check around with sites like liveauctioneers.com, eBay, Etsy, and 1stDibs.

Some online marketplaces, such as Replacements.com, buy china to then sell it off piece by piece to people who are looking for replacements for their set. But read the fine print. Some sites make quotes pending receipt of the items, and then once they receive the items, they could reduce their offer. And the price a piece sells for is going to be substantially different from what they pay you. Know this and be okay letting it go.

Family and Friends 

You really do have to ask!

Do not assume that no one wants it.

Ignore those news headlines.

You might have a friend, neighbor, or loved one with a desire for your china. But avoid attaching strings to that gift. If you give away your china, and they then turn around and break up the set, transform it, or eventually get rid of it, no harm, no foul!

Keep a Few Pieces 

If you’re feeling sentimental or even guilty about letting go of something that was a part of so many family occasions or was originally expensive to purchase, holding onto a few pieces of the set might help you let go of the rest. Perhaps you keep only the tea cups, only the dessert plates, or a platter and/or serving bowl. That can sometimes be enough.

For others of you, you may decide that you need still less. A single cup can become a decoration on a shelf. Or you can use it bedside to float a candle or a single flower.

tea cup and saucer on stack of books

Donate

Donations can be difficult for china. They take up a lot of space and are naturally delicate. Call your local charities and thrift stores to see what they are interested in before you pack it up and haul it over.

Create

If you are the crafty type, we’ve seen creative options for smashing china and setting it into paver stones for gardens and pathways. Others carefully break, arrange, and 3D frame pieces for stunning and creative textual art. 

Artifct That 

You might decide you’re keeping your china, because you’re enjoying using it or simply looking at it. You might decide it’s out of here, tomorrow!

Either way, Artifct that to record its history, like our co-founder Heather did for the china set inherited from her mother-in-law.

Artifcting your china, or any piece of it that you are partial to, and sharing that Artifct can open up conversations you never expected. Sharing might also help you complete the “In the future” field in your Artifct.

Here are some tips for making future plans for your china:

      • If you want that china to “Stay in the family,” make sure they understand why through the story you provide in the Artifct.  
      • If you plan to sell it, great, choose “Sell,” and set a reminder for yourself and Artifcts will email you to help keep you on schedule.  

option in Artifct form to set a reminder to sell an item 

      • If a loved one sees the Artifct and is in love with the china set, fabulous. You can indicate “Bequeath” and to whom. 
      • Selling it tomorrow? Mark, “Too late! Already gone. Enjoy the memory.” to save your loved ones from a frustrating scavenger hunt. 

No matter your plans for your china, make them known to your loved ones, and prepare yourself to let it go to a new home.

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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How to Get Your Kids to Help Clear Out the Clutter 

They do say, "The proof is in the pudding," and this weekend my sons found out that Artifcts is the way to get through the 'stuff' and out the other side to the lives they want to be living.

Our mission on Saturday was to clear out a corner of our garage so we could create a small gym for our family. Standing in our way was a bunch of clutter, almost exclusively the sentimental type, and some of which belonged to each member of our family.

I do this for a living, clearing out homes, and knew a few strategies to help us get the job done, and done better. Chief among them is using the Artifcts app to keep track of what goes, what stays, and why it mattered to us.

I kicked off our cleanout effort by Artifcting my old skateboard. My Lance Mountain, Powell Peralta skateboard from 1988. This board was more important to me than most. I saved my money for it, I purchased it, and it was my only means of transportation for two summers.

Artifct about an old skateboard

 
 
CLICK THE IMAGE to check out Matt Paxton's Artifct about his childhood skateboard, told while riding said skateboard one last time.

That board has been with me for 35 years. Odds of me riding it again and avoiding serious injury or sudden death are slim. It was time for it to go. Even though I’ve been downsizing other people’s homes for decades, it’s always special when it’s my items, with my kids. I still get excited when they ask me questions about my childhood.

Then it came to boxes belonging to my boys with childhood 'stuff' in it. You know the stuff - ribbons, artwork, school papers. Someone thought it was special and hung onto it but now even my boys only got a laugh out of it and wanted to recycle it. My son Temple was totally into recording the story behind some of his more creative efforts, and photographing it all, before tossing it.

Child's artwork - a pizza slice

 
 
In a humorous and insightful twist of events, when my wife—who has literally written the book on practical minimalism for families—found out we Artifcted Temple's pizza slice and recycled, she was distressed. "No one asked me!" See, it can be hard to let that sentimental stuff go, even for the pros! Artifcts gave her solace.

What could have been a fast, let's ditch everything, so sorry we can't keep it all effort, turned into a great morning together. Beyond great. Did you listen to what he said in his Artifct? Pure gold to this dad.

And we're left with a clear garage space and a collection of new Artifcts to remember it by. In the end, my youngest son said, “This is cool! We should Artifct more ‘stuff’,” and I said, “Yes, Temple. We should.” And we will… 

Bottom line: Artifcts works. Try it for you. Try it for them. Try it free today at Artficts.com. Let them know Matt Paxton sent you.

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© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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