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My Family Wants Me to Tell My Stories. Help!

March 06, 2024

Reading time: 3 minutes 

Feeling pressured to tell your life stories?

Has a loved one given you a questionnaire about your life that feels like another to-do?

Are you receiving tips on how to to “express yourself” or make your stories “entertaining," "thoughtful," or "compelling" and don’t really know where to begin?

(Are you the one creating the pressure?! Keep reading. Today's article is also for you!)

The Story Burden: What Is It?

Maybe you're not a great writer, maybe you don't want to commit the time, or maybe you don't think you have good stories to tell. But "they" are asking you to write your stories anyway and maybe even throwing money at it via well-intentioned gifts to encourage you. That is what we call the "story burden."

We know the pressure comes from a heartfelt place. Our friends and family may think we and our stories are worth preserving and sharing. And the storytelling industry wants to help us structure our stories to capture people’s attention in an increasingly distracted world.

At the same time, these story pressures can snowball and become a giant turnoff. The well-intentioned tips, classes, and frameworks may backfire and prevent us from making progress. And progress, not perfection, is what matters, just as much as what “they” want. Right?

Name Your Own Story Goal

You can't get there, if you don't know where you're going. What is your goal in recording your stories in one way or another? Perhaps your goal looks like one of these:

      • Private, diary-like reflections that maybe you'll share one day with a chosen few
      • Recording bits of your personal and family history to share your knowledge with your loved ones
      • Capturing moments and memories that made you and others smile before the details slip away. Could make up the pieces to a great memoir one day!

No matter your goal, consider the strategies we've gathered below to see if any will help you make progress without that burden stories can create.

 
Time-Tested Story Capture Strategies

STORY PROMPT BOOKS AND CHECKLISTS

Lacking inspiration, a jumping off point? Download a free checklist of interview questions. A great question source is the independent non-profit StoryCorps (check out the podcast, too) and it's free collection of life story questions aross 17 categories. Or you could purchase a story prompt book like this one to work through at your pace. These resources will avoid set schedules and fixed costs so you don't have to worry if you fall out of sync with their pace or wonder if you're getting good value for your money. It's a free or a one-time fee!

If you're motivated by, let's say, a treat now and then, you could even eat your way to stories. Our co-founder Ellen loves good old-fashion soft caramels and was shocked how game her family was to answer the questions wrapped around each of these caramels during the holidays. Talk about low pressure! 

SUBSCRIPTION STORY SERVICES

Need more motivation? Subscription services like Storyworth can send you regular prompts and by answering them in a timely fashion, by yearend, you’ll have enough fodder to complete and purchase your responses in a book format. For additional fees, you can even add color photos, additional pages, and special covers.

SUPPORT FROM A PRO!

Not happening without human intervention? Hire a life story pro to interview you and write your story. Whether a short 30-minute session to scratch the surface or a full life story multi-month endeavor, you can find an option to fit your goals and budget and remove the pressure from you to pull it all together. There are an abundance of companies that will do this and range greatly in price from $150/hour to a few thousand for a limited scope to $10k-15k and more for multi-month in-person biographies of the highest quality.

Bite-Sized Stories with Artifcts 

We heard a lot about the story burden as we began the research for what became Artifcts. We knew we had to do better and create something innovative that would avoid the story pressure while integrating the best of the tried and tested techniques of story telling AND sharing.

What's remarkable about every Artifct you create is the simple choice as to WHAT you Artifct already speaks volumes. The "story" becomes a bonus, a bonus that can be one simple word—e.g. Dad’s—or a 5,000+ word story.

Colorful floral pattern on dark background tea tin

At Artifcts, you can proceed at your own pace. You won't lose the value of the book you never completed if you don't finish by the end of the year. An Artifct a day, Tuesday evenings with Artifcts, weekend pick me up, seasonal themes, or work your way through one of our amazing checklists inspired by the Arti Community ... whatever works. for. you! No deadline, no quota to meet. 

What's remarkable about every Artifct you create is the simple choice as to WHAT you Artifct already speaks volumes.

We love that Artifcts are also easily shareable to someone who may be assisting you with family history research, writing a memoir, or creating a family videography, saving you countless hours searching for, sharing, and annotating the materials when you’re ready to take that next step. We have great Allies in ‘Stuff’ who can support you and have many more in our “rolodex” if memoirs and personal or family videographies and genealogies are on your mind. Reach out. We’re happy to help: Editor@Artifcts.com

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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So Much 'Stuff:' How They Suck Us In and How We Can Resist!

Careful what you ask for. In his book “Stuffocation,” author James Wallman details how in the post-industrial revolution US economy of the 1920s and 1930s, there was too much of everything, everything produced by farmers to industrial machines. We overachieved! Rather than produce less, the goal became getting consumers to buy more, even if they had enough. Advertisers had to up their games.

The trick was how to get people to lose the “lasts a lifetime” expectation and develop a desire for the newest version, model, or edition that industry was now only too happy to churn out. The fashion industry already exemplified this and now the rest had to catch on, landfills be damned, and provide cheaper, disposable, fashionable everything. 

Fast forward 100 years and the "buy more" concept has persisted and matured, leaving no industry untouched. Here are a few examples to get you thinking like the advertisers do. 

GADGETS.

Millions regularly trade in their favorite gadget—whether a phone, tv, fitness tracker, or otherwise—for the next model the moment it’s released, waiting in line to ensure they are the earliest of adopters. And tech's just the obvious example.  

COLORS!

Have you thought about why there are “colors of the year” and “of the season” that pop up in your feeds and inboxes, often with seasonally suggestive names, like “breezy blue?” All the companies fall in line with their similar version of the “it” blue of the season, until it’s suddenly a beautiful gem green and yet again you rethink your clothing and home decor choices. 

DESIGN CONCEPTS.

Design concepts trend just like colors. Recently “glaze” has popped up on hot pink garments from Lulu Lemon and green frames from Framebridge. This is not to be outdone by “scalloped” edges on picture frames from Archival Methods, mirrors and tables from School House, and toilet paper from Charmin. Product and marketing experts know how to get modern buyers to buy. 

MATCHING SETS AND COMPOSITIONS.

Here’s yet another reason to buy – sets. Whether that’s a matching clothing set or a gallery wall of frames, moving you to buy not one, not a set, but MORE all at once. I mean, the picture shows 10 frames make a gallery, so I guess I need one of each, right? 

Maybe these tactics do not sway you. You have a certain style, and you stick to it. Timeless. Functional. You! What about ...

ENTICING DISCOUNTS.

... the sneaky “up to 30%” off offers? Have you fallen for those? You browse or click and nearly nothing you’re interested in is 30% off, just a tactically chosen few which you overlook as you accelerate through the checkout process because you are already there in the store or your credit card or other digital payment means is already available on your phone or laptop. 

6 Strategies to Help You Muffle the Calls to Buy

We first published this story in honor of Earth Day and in recognition of our general philosophy here at Artifcts that you should stop and smell the roses more often when it comes to your ‘stuff’ to appreciate what you have and why you have it, we’ve curated some easy tactics you can use to halt more stuff from coming into your home. We're republishing it today so you can revisit these strategies before your holiday shopping begins and hopefully save some money and avoid being lured to buy 'stuff' you'll regret later. If nothing else, put #3 into action today!

1. Unsubscribe. (Yes, catalogs, too. Check out options). Have you heard of that movie from 80s, "See No Evil, Hear No Evil?" That's the idea. If you are not seeing those emails and notifications, you are so far ahead of the game. Worried you’ll miss a sale? Set a reminder to check back when you know they usually have sales. Or simply sign up again later if you truly miss seeing their emails. 

2. Delete payment methods. Unless you are on a recurring payment plan that requires a purchase, delete and/or do not save any payment information anywhere. Make it inconvenient to make that purchase. You’ll have to get up out of your seat to get that credit card, giving you time to think again. 

3. Work ahead for sales. You’re a deal hunter. Fabulous. So are we. Save items to your shopping cart weeks before that next big sale. In the US, big sales are like clockwork on major holidays. By preloading items to your cart, you have time to think on it. When you return weeks later you might discover that at least some of those items are not as “must have” as you first thought. 

4. Visualize where it will go, where and when you will wear it. Maybe you love a beautiful, framed picture, a side table, a cool clock, a dazzling watch, or a “travels-beautifully” dress. Pause to think, where exactly will I hang this picture in my home? Where will this table fit? You already have a watch. Why do you need or want this one? 

5. Keep savings goals front and center. Do you have debt to pay down? A big trip you’re dreaming about? What about ambitions for a lower stress summer with the kids in camps they’ll love? Keep photos of your goals around you. Track your savings each week. Or add to your savings each time you resist a purchase as a reward toward your goal, even if it’s only skipping that espresso. Whatever it takes for you, remember the thrill of that purchase might be short-lived compared to your still more thrilling goals. 

6. Skip “{fill in the blank} math.” Here’s a recent example of this straight from our teenage daughters and their talk about “girl math.” Normally the swim tops and bottoms are individually $30 but there’s a buy one-get one sale. Dear daughter picked out a swim set and said, “Awesome, I have $30 more dollars to spend.” On something, anything, no idea what, but let’s go spend! Sigh.

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We feel better already, reminding ourselves of these strategies. We're not turning over a minimalist leaf or shaming anyone for enjoying a bit of shopping. But we do hope your buying does not lessen anything else in your life, from enjoying your home to taking those trips of a lifetime you save for and remember always.

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Unusual Digital Artifcts from Genealogy 

Earlier this year we called out on social media for a genealogist​ who ​was interested in collaborating with us to see if our co-founder Ellen was in fact related to a global superstar.

Guess who the mystery superstar was? Lady Gaga!

This potential connection seriously confused Ellen, who asked, “Isn’t she Italian!?” whereas her family has a mix of Luxembourgian, German, French, and English heritage. It turns out Lady Gaga was a case of an over eager auto correct in a text message from Ellen’s genealogist aunt. The message should have read Lady Gage, with an “e,” as in the wife of Thomas Wentworth Gage, a commander-in-chief, North America, during the early days of the American Revolution. Granted, Lady Gage is still in impressive ancestor, but she somehow lacks the awe power of Lady Gaga.

We met with our volunteer, Jill Browne, Founder of Clutter School (@MessyNestDeclutterCoach on IG), and discussed exploring other family history instead, potentially through what, with a ​bit of ​latitude, could become ​ancestral ​Artifcts.

Today we’re sharing the highlights with​ you​, Artifcts style, as Family History Month ends, and we all settle in for a long winter’s nap, aka the holiday season with our family where family lore and history are born and shared. Seize the moment. Use these Artifcts as inspiration as you ask for details, sift through old family photos, and maybe even take home an heirloom or two, and Artifct That!

Over to you​, Jill​!

An Uncommon Ancestry Approach to Artifcts 

I love the concept of Artifcts. To me Artifcts offers an opportunity to create a digital museum of whatever one wants to preserve.  
 
As a geographer, I am fascinated by the immovable parts of our histories: landscapes, buildings, towns, roads, statues, and so on. As a genealogist, I can't resist a good cemetery, too. As Winston Churchill said, "We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us." He was talking about the Commons Chamber in the UK Houses of Parliament, but the same thing applies to our homes and to the shapes of our cities and towns. Buildings and cultural landscapes show us what we think is important in the part of the world we occupy.

This collection of Artifcts includes only one portable object, and it’s not in Ellen’s family's possession. It's in a museum and probably most people in her family have no idea it exists.

But with this one object, we can all appreciate how a single artifact can become a significant piece of family history to dozens, even hundreds of people with the passage of time. After​ ​all, you probably don’t even know your third cousins, and yet you share the same 2X great-grandparents. If any family heirlooms that belonged to those ​distant ​great-grandparents still exist, most likely you and your third cousins, their descendants, have no idea, or, if you do, have lost the history behind them. 
 
This is one reason why I love the intersection of genealogy and Artifcts, and ​it’s also ​my defence of Artifcting things you don't actually own. It gives people a chance to share and to discover parts of their family's history that basic genealogy doesn't usually include.

Now, let’s check out this Artifcts collection!

The Artifcts

Out of the many possible objects and stories tied to Ellen’s May (maternal) and Bowker (paternal) heritage, here are the ones I chose for Ellen’s ​ancestral ​deep dive:

      • a piece of WWI trench art, 
      • two cemeteries, 
      • a town, 
      • a homestead, and 
      • a national historic site. 

Artifct #1: First World War Trench Art engraved "Leut AH Yorton"

The Artifct preview below shows a piece trench art, in this case a decorated artillery shell. The ​etching​​ indicates​ France, May 21, 1918, A. H. Yorton​.​ ​It ​commemorates the day Andrew Yorton entered the trenches with Wisconsin’s 127th Infantry. As this article from the Lewis Army Museum points out, it's not known whether Andrew created this piece himself or commissioned the work, but the article does offer amazing details of Andrew's service during WWI.

 
 
 
 
Trench art engraved "A. H. Yorton", illustration in "An Introduction to Trench Art: The Story of AH Yorton," Allie Krisko, "Virtual Exhibits," Lewis Army Museum, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Washington, photograph on website (https://lewisarmymuseum.com/virtual-exhibits: accessed 23 October 2024).

And who is Andrew to Ellen?

Andrew Henry “Hank” Yorton (1886-1959) was Ellen’s ​second ​great-uncle, the elder brother of Ellen’s great-grandmother, Rena Yorton Wilson (1888-1965). ​In January 1906, ​Rena ​​married Glidden Wilson, ​​the very man who bought the family harp ​that ​Ellen has often referenced and shared here.

From a family history point of view, the story here is that Ellen’s great-grandmother and all the rest of her brother Andrew's family had to endure the long wait while he was away in France, never knowing if he would return. He sailed for France on February 18, 1918, and while the war officially ended on November 11, 1918, he​ didn’t leave​ France ​until​ December 10, 1918.

The US ​observes​ Veterans Day, and Canada Remembrance Day, every November 11th, making this ​shell ​a fitting Artifct to share and reshare this time of year.

Artifct #2:  Two cemeteries in Aurora, Kane County, Illinois 
 
Can a cemetery be an Artifct? In my book, yes! Cemeteries are pieces of our heritage that connect families to their past. As physical places, they create a tiny dot on the map where we can say, yes, this is part of me. I would be especially likely to keep a cemetery as an Artifct if it had several generations of my ancestors. I don't have that, but Ellen does, and then some!

In fact, Ellen’s maternal family ancestry converges in Aurora: If Ellen were to look at just this one geographic area, she would find the impact of multiple ancestral families.

The Marywood Cemetery in Aurora has the graves for Ellen’s May and other ancestors going back in a nearly unbroken line to their very arrival in the US.  
 
The ​Calvary​ Cemetery has the ​graves and memorials for the ​original May family immigrant parents, Johann Petur May (1799-1861) and his wife Anna Knapp May (1794-1857), who were from Luxembourg. Their son, Nikolaus May (1838-1909), buried in Marywood, was also born in Luxembourg. He emigrated with his parents and at least some of his siblings in 1856. 

The May parents died within a few years of their arrival, but their son Nikolaus, continued to live in Aurora, where he married Eva Kellen (1842-1910). Eva, while born in Germany, had a father who was native to Luxembourg as well. That’s why it’s unsurprising to see Luxembourg feature prominently in Ellen’s maternal side DNA profile.

Artifct #3: The Town of Clockville, New York

Clockville also gets my vote for another unconventional family history Artifct. It has a known connection to not one but two families in Ellen’s family tree (Yorton and Lamoreux). In addition, Clockville is so small, that if Ellen were to visit, no matter where she’d venture in Clockville, she’d probably be retracing her ancestors' footsteps.

Remember Ellen’s great-grandmother Rena Yorton from our Artifct above about the trench art? She descended from Paul Yorton (1793-1871) and among her siblings was a brother, Hank, who was born in Clockville, New York. This is just a hamlet, but in its cemetery, you will find their dad Paul, Ellen’s 4X great-grandfather.

It’s through Rena’s brothers that the connection the Lamoreux family is made: Hank married Electa Lamoreux, and George married Electa's sister, Elizabeth Jane. This connection between the Yorton and Lamoreux families persisted as a number of them migrated west from Clockville to Wisconsin, where Ellen grew up. The “Old Lamoreux place” near Ashland, Wisconsin, is well known and Hank’s and Electa’s son Morris lived there at the end of his life.

BONUS TIDBIT: When you’re conducting genealogy research you often find threads you don’t have time to pull in the moment. This is one of those threads and too good not to share. Previous research by Ellen’s aunt traces the Yortons back to the Netherlands and Germany, although some other members of Ancestry.com may have found different lineages than her aunt, including a potential family association with the Dutch East India Company in Cape Town. That may be valid or completely fanciful. More research for another day!

If Ellen were to visit [Clockville], no matter where she’d venture, she’d probably be retracing her ancestors' footsteps.

Artifct #4: Castle Garden Emigrant Depot

Castle Garden deserves an Artifct if for no other reason than to dissuade you from potentially thinking of Ellis Island as THE point of entry for immigrants to the US. Not so fast!

It’s understandable that many people associate Ellis Island with the immigration of their families, as many immigrants to the USA did pass through the famed location.

But "about 20% of Americans can trace their ancestry to someone who went through [the earlier arrival station] Castle Garden,” according to the US National Park Service. Ellen’s May ancestors immigrated to the US in 1856, which would have put them in the right time frame to be processed at Castle Garden.

Artifct #5: Bowker homestead, Shabbona, Illinois

For the 5th and final Artifct, we’re switching gears for a peek into the paternal (Bowker) side of Ellen’s family to place them on the map (wink, wink) before we close out this genealogical Artifct exploration.

On March 16, 1849, Daniel Bowker bought 160 acres of land from James Jack, a Private in the Army who was given a Military Warrant for the land. Here is a copy of the transfer document dated December 20, 1850.

 
 
Bureau of Land Management, land transfer James Jack to Daniel Bowker, no. 43544, 20 Dec 1850, for SW12-Tp38N-R3-E3M; image General Land Office Records (https://glorecords.blm.gov/details/patent/default.aspx?accession=1020-324&docClass=MW&sid=42unaev4.g2y#patentDetailsTabIndex=1 : accessed 16 Oct 2024).

The land is close to Shabbonna's Grove, named for Chief Shabbonna, a Potawatomi Chief and notable figure in the history of the area. Here is a map of Shabbonna Township, DeKalb County, Illinois from 1860, with Daniel Bowker's name on the south-west quarter of section 12.

 
 
 Lamb, Daniel W, Map of DeKalb County, Illinois (Philadelphia: Daniel W. Lamb, 1860), enlargement showing D Bowker's land (SW 1/4 of section 12, Shabonna Township); image, Library of Congress (https://www.loc.gov/resource/g4103d.la000110/?r=0.306,0.82,0.288,0.127,0 : accessed 16 Oct 2024).

You can see how the area looks today – wide open farmland – on Google street and satellite view. 

Genealogy and Artifcts

These are the sort of Artifcts that genealogy and family history research can turn up, with only a taste of the finer details left in to give you a feel for how genealogists go about the telling of family history. But for most people, it’s not about the historical facts and dates but the key themes, stories, and connections behind these discoveries that matter most. And have no doubt, there are loads of more conventional artifacts hanging out in Ellen’s tree should she go looking to Artifct them, too – census records, photographs, drawings, certificates of birth, marriage, and death, and so on.  
 
Artifcts is a wonderful place for keeping and sharing memories. The five Artifcts I've shared are about recovering memories, recognizing the connections, and discovering and sharing the stories and doing so in a way that resonates through the generations. I hope they inspire you to preserve and share your own family history discoveries, traditional or otherwise, too.

Happy Artifcting! 
 
Jill

Enjoy all things family history? Take a look back at these ARTIcles, too.

DIY Family History Book: Publish Your Artifcts with Akin

An Easier and More Personal Approach to Family History

Use Artifcts Timelines to Enrich Your Family History

10 Ways Genealogists are Using Artifcts That May Help You, Too

How to Artifct Family History and Heirlooms

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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65+ Years Old & Brain Health on Your Mind?

Let’s dispel a myth first thing in case it’s lingering in your mind: Dementia is not a normal part of aging.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, research has shown many risk factors contribute to causing Alzheimer's and other dementias, including genetics, behaviors, and habits. "While some risk factors, such as age and family history, may be set in their influence, there are many risk factors that can be changed to potentially reduce a person's risk of cognitive decline."

The organization Hilarity for Charity: Bringing Light to Alzheimer’s nicely summarizes some of these factors in this simple graphic (read more at https://wearehfc.org/5-brain-health-habits/):

5 Brain Health Habits

Artifcts wants to play a role in reducing the risk of cognitive decline and helping people to get ahead of symptoms to adjust those factors within their control and others that could be influenced through medical intervention, too.

How will Artifcts do this?

Glad you asked!

Join Our Brain Health Study Today!

Like many, our co-founder Ellen’s family has been enduring the uncertainty and fear that often come with a loved one living with dementia. We’re grateful to share with you an opportunity to potentially bring to this world an easy, early access screening tool to get ahead of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) and dementia that's as simple as creating 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Artifcts!

Information about joining a brain health study with Artifcts

 
 
CLICK THE IMAGE to learn more, or fill in the interest form at: https://redcap.link/2rbbhnwt 

The Artifcts-UMass Chan Medical Brain Health Study—funded by the Massachusetts eHealth Institute—is looking for volunteers age 65+ to join an at-home, Artifcts web/app-based research study that aims to answer whether the Artifcts platform can be used as a digital screening tool for cognitive health. Just imagine being able to screen your own brain health anytime, anywhere with the Artifcts you create every day anyway? We could flip the script and get people thinking about and acting on this information earlier than ever when more can be done to prevent and slow decline.

Participants will receive a one-year Artifcts membership at no cost to create and privately share Artifcts for the study, all from the convenience of your personal device (e.g., phone, tablet, or computer). You may be eligible if you are:

      • 65 years of age or older
      • Fluent in English
      • Able to give consent to participate; MCI/dementia status is not a determinant of participation
      • Able to provide/create audio files via Artifcts app or Artifcts.com

Please act today. We need your help to make this research study a success. Take the first step to enroll today and/or share with a friend or loved one who may qualify. Learn more >

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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