Audrey and her mother have always had a tricky relationship. While some people talk about the teenage years being strained, their relationship was strained from the very first sleepless nights when Audrey was a baby. Beyond the love lived a mix of frustration, embarrassment, and distrust that only worsened as Audrey grew older.

At the heart of it all, in Audrey’s view, is a legacy of too much stuff. She never invited friends to her home because she was embarrassed by the chaos of her mother’s clutter throughout their home. She didn’t even enjoy spending time there unless she stayed in her room, behind a locked door, where her mother’s stuff could not invade.

Now as an adult, she and her children visit her mom several times a year, and in each visit her mom attempts to gift her boxes of things she’s been saving for her. But in Audrey’s words, “I am going through boxes of nightmare. Nightmare! She’s blocking me with a bunch of s***.”

And there you have it – for Audrey the stuff creates a barrier between her and her mother, depriving her of the relationship she wants for herself and her children.

And who can blame her? Don’t we all want more than a cardboard box of memories?

As adult children begin looking at their parents’ homes with fresh eyes, they wonder: Is it safe? Is it healthy? And, someday, will it fall to them to clean it all out and decide what goes, what stays, and who gets it next? What was once their parents’ problem may soon become their own.

And guess what? The adult kids are not having it. We hear from them every week at ​Artifcts​, when they express with a dose of disbelief the fact their parents are in no rush to downsize all that ‘stuff.'

Of course, the sense that a parent is a hoarder, “But not really, or maybe just a light hoarder,” is just a broad brushed way of saying it’s too much to deal with and they need help. And not all stories are as negative as Audrey’s story.

Patrick wrote to us to share that he was raised by two parents who loved him unconditionally and taught him to appreciate what it meant to be a collector. This passion sparked an interest in the arts that has carried through to his career as a museum curator.

But as his parents aged and declining health became a more pressing issue, Patrick told us, “What once appeared to be connoisseurship soon looked more like hoarding as I started sifting through their pieces.” He went on, “It was TRAUMATIZING, having to figure this all out for them, let alone do so at the age when most of my peers weren’t even remotely close to being confronted with these types of issues.”

Join us in today’s ARTIcles story as we peel back the worry and fear of adult children who have parents who have enjoyed collecting and accumulating ‘stuff.’ We’ll explore hoarding disorder in more detail and share strategies to help adult children navigate their parents and themselves to safer ground.

What is Hoarding? (And What is It Not?) 

Much as nostalgia historically was misunderstood, so too has hoarding gone through an evolution in science and the mainstream.

Hoarding has been clinically studied for decades, but public awareness only surged after the TV show Hoarders premiered in 2009. Until then, most people had never witnessed the severity and dangers of hoarded living spaces. Academic research—particularly work by Dr. Mary E. Dozier and Dr. Catherine R. Ayers—underscores how object attachment intensifies as we grow older, further emphasizing the profound emotional and psychological factors that drive hoarding behaviors.

DSM-5 CRITERIA FOR HOARDING DISORDER

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the reference guide mental health professionals use to support diagnoses of psychiatric conditions, classifies hoarding disorder (HD) under obsessive-compulsive and related disorders. The DSM describes a person who has “persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value. This difficulty is due to a perceived need to save the items and to the distress associated with discarding them.”

Importantly, the DSM-5 states that hoarding impairs a person’s ability to use their spaces and the items within as they intended. As Audrey’s earlier story illustrates, it can also cause “clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupation, or other important areas of functioning (including maintaining a safe environment safe for oneself or others.)” What does this look like in real life? It ranges from health hazards like vermin infestations or blocked exists, to emotional stress and family conflict.

Studies show that hoarding behaviors worsen over time, particularly as older adults develop stronger attachments to personal belongings (Dozier & Ayers, 2020). By the time a family member recognizes the problem—by the telltale overwhelming accumulation of stuff—the condition has deepened and evolved and may be linked to other conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD.

If you suspect hoarding disorder, experts recommend seeking a mental health evaluation. Professional help can involve therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), sometimes combined with medications to address any co-occurring conditions, such as depression or anxiety. Resources for help are provided at the end of this article.

NO, THAT’S NOT "HOARDING"

You might be wondering then, where is that line between disorder and, well, not!

It’s important to recognize that hoarding is not the same as collecting, even if that means multiple and/or large, usually well-organized, collections throughout a home.

Notice the word “organized” inserted there? That’s because collections are further distinguishable from clutter. According to the DSM, clutter is “a large group of usually unrelated or marginally related objects piled together in a disorganized fashion in spaces design for other purposes (e.g. tabletop, floor, hallway).”

Collectors often systematically organize and proudly display their collections (e.g., stamps, vinyl records, or figurines). These items may have monetary or sentimental value, but they typically do not obstruct the normal use of living spaces.

In contrast, hoarded items are often:  

• • • Randomly piled or disorganized 
    • Kept “just in case” but rarely accessed/used 
    • Spreading into spaces needed for daily living (e.g., kitchens, bathrooms, bedrooms).

In addition to collections being organized, the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) highlights the importance of the location of the collections as opposed to clutter, too. Clutter accumulated in your basement and attic is commonplace, as both locations are the typical catchalls and storage solutions in homes.

The key questions are:

• • • Does the stuff interfere with daily life and cause distress, for the individual and their family?  
    • Are they able and willing to part with items, whether through giving them to a loved one, selling, donating, or disposing of them?

Hoarding Disorder and Insights for “Non-Hoarders”

"Well, my parents aren't hoarders but nearly!" Generally adult children who describe their parents ​offhand ​as “hoarders” do not mean it. Rarely do their parents actually have hoarding disorder, and they know it. But the fear of all that ​‘​​s​​tuff’ is real​.

Finding a foothold in the chaos is important as is a path forward. We spoke with experts in hoarding disorder to elicit strategies and lessons for those adult kids ready to take steps toward a better future for their parents, however defined, and feel less like Don Quixote in the process. While we are talking about adult children, these strategies are adaptable to all with a little imagination.

Insights from 25 Years in the Field, with Melissa Autry

Melissa Autry, CSA, CPO, CPO-CD, is a Hoarding Remediation Expert and industry advocate who has been working with people who have HD for more than 35 years. It makes one wonder, who was her mentor back then, when awareness of never mind specialization in this disorder was surely lacking! And sure enough, she told us she had to invent her own job title.

Melissa specializes in safety and habitability, often working in extreme environments. She reminds families: 

"Every case is different because every person's relationship with their stuff is different." 

“It’s not only about the amount of stuff or the loss of use of the home. It’s about a person’s emotional equity with their possessions. Nine times out of ten, they’re not working with a mental health professional. Sometimes, the safety issues outweigh the mental health need—ask any firefighter! According to the Massachusetts Department of Fire Services, hoarding was a factor in 24% of fatal residential fires between 1999 and 2009. While both matter, a compromised structure takes priority when there is an immediate risk of loss of life.” 

Hoarding remediation is hazardous work, often requiring hazmat suits to handle biohazards, mold, pests, and toxic materials. But Melissa believes that every case is an opportunity to improve someone’s quality of life—and sometimes, even save a life (people and pets). 

She also emphasizes that while health and safety come first, personal contents matter, too—especially irreplaceable items like photos, letters, and memorabilia:

“There may be some really happy, healthy stories out there—and I love those. But our phone rings when nothing else has worked, when families are overwhelmed, and when they don’t even know how to start the conversation.” 

“We tell stories through our stuff and experiences. I look at personal belongings like the gift shop at the adventure park—Our Life!"

Here is Melissa’s top advice for all of you adult children and families, distilled into 8 key points:

1. Every adult child is like an only child. 
No two siblings experience a parent the same way. Each child has a unique relationship with their parent based on individual experiences, personalities, and past interactions. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another. 

2. The parent-child dynamic evolves—sometimes painfully.
To a parent, you are always 12 years old—frozen in time. To an adult child, your own life experiences have shaped who you are, making it difficult to fit back into old roles. As your parent ages and needs help, the roles can slowly reverse—where you find yourself parenting your parent. This shift can be emotionally complex, especially if the original relationship was strained. 

3. Delayed trauma responses and emotional triggers are real.
If your relationship with your parent was unhealthy or complicated, stepping into a caregiving role can be extremely triggering. It may stir up old wounds, unresolved conflicts, or memories of neglect and emotional distress. Yet now your parent needs help, and navigating these emotions can be really rough. 

4. Understand the emotional attachment to items.
Ask about meaningful objects before pushing for decluttering. Building trust is the goal—not forcing change.

5. Appraisals can shift the conversation.
Assigning a monetary value can help separate financial worth from emotional worth (emotional equity) and clarify whether an item should be kept, sold, donated, or discarded. 

6. Avoid “overhelping.”
Pushing too hard can backfire, making your loved one more resistant instead of more willing. Overhelping is a lose/lose scenario—both parties end up frustrated. 

7. Recognize shifting roles.
The evolving dynamic between parent and adult child can feel unfamiliar and unsettling. You may no longer have anything in common other than the fact that you were both present during your childhood. Understanding this shift helps manage expectations and reduces emotional strain. 

8. Practice self-care.
Decluttering a loved one’s home can be emotionally exhausting. While the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” may ring true, caregiver fatigue is real. Everyone involved—parents, adult children, and professionals—benefits when a structured plan is in place with both a Plan A and Plan B. 

• Mental Health Support for Adult Children 

Melissa also encourages adult children to consider their own mental health as they support parents who are downsizing their lifetime of belongings. “It’s a stressful and emotionally taxing experience. Adult children often benefit from speaking with mental health professionals, not just for the parent’s well-being, but also for their own emotional resilience.”  

Melissa recommends online platforms like BetterHelp or in-person therapists who can provide coping strategies, stress management, and guidance for navigating complex family dynamics. You can find these and other resources at the end of this article.

Lessons Beyond the TV Show Hoarders, with Matt Paxton

We also sat down with someone who came into the HD specialty with a more public flare, so to speak. Matt Paxton, best known for his 15 seasons on Hoarders, has spent nearly 25 years helping families declutter. His philosophy? 

“Keep the memories, lose the stuff," which happens to also be the title of his book.

In Paxton’s newest venture, Clutter Cleaner, he trains professionals in practical strategies drawn from his extensive field experience, including his work individuals with hoarding disorder and their families. He emphasizes the following lessons: 

Start Small. 
Overwhelming someone with big demands will likely cause them to shut down. Smaller, more manageable steps are far more effective in building trust and momentum. It's not about what you get done, it's about getting started and keeping going.

Prioritize Safety. 
Clear pathways, remove fire hazards, and focus on habitability first. A safe environment is the foundation for any further progress.

Use Humor. 
Hoarding can be emotionally heavy. Lightening the mood at appropriate moments keeps everyone engaged and reduces tension.

Focus on Progress, Not Perfection.
Any step forward—no matter how small—is a significant victory. Perfection is neither realistic nor necessary for positive change. “Focus on what you have achieved, not on what is yet to be completed. Mindset is everything,” says Matt.

Encourage Mental Health Support. 
Professional help, such as therapy or support groups, is key to lasting success. Forced cleanouts without psychological support fail to address the root causes of hoarding disorder and are never successful. “In my 20+ years of cleaning out hoarded homes,” said Matt, “if the client doesn't receive some sort of therapy, the clean-out fails 100% of the time.” 

Remember, you need not be alone in this work, parsing through the belongings of a loved one. Resources abound to help you from these tips to the linked resources below.

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HOARDING DISORDER AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT RESOURCES

Ultimately, knowledge, compassion, and structured professional intervention remain the most powerful tools to transform a household overrun by possessions into a home that fosters well-being for everyone involved. By recognizing the clinical realities of hoarding disorder, seeking professional guidance, and approaching loved ones with empathy, adult children can create a pathway toward safer homes and healthier relationships.

• • • International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) - Hoarding
    • Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD)
    • National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO)
    • BetterHelp – Online mental health platform connecting individuals with licensed professionals

© 2025 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

I recently spent time with an Arti Community member who has dementia. As you may know, the daily routine for people with dementia is generally increasingly structured as the dementia progresses to minimize stress and paranoia and prioritize all things familiar. Schedules also help the caregiver preserve their own sanity, minimizing the “new” things in a day to juggle. 

As someone relatively new to the caregiver role to someone older than myself, I found that even within the normal routine, there were traps I nearly fell into every which way I turned. When you are unaccustomed to the way the brain plays tricks as dementia progresses, it’s easy to overlook complications that someone with dementia will face with day-to-day activities.

In today’s ARTIcles story, I am using the ubiquitous smart phone as both an example and as the flashing light that showed me, a founder of Artifcts, just how special the Artifcts experience and lifestyle is for caregivers and people with dementia. It’s so much more than an app.

_____________

Everyone is attached to their phones these days like they’re a vital appendage. And unless you are leaning over someone, you are not generally privy to what they are looking at on the phone.

In the case of this Arti Community member, she was checking and clearing out her Yahoo! email. In the process, she was sometimes clicking through on emails that grabbed her attention. One such email was filled with “Friend” suggestions from Facebook. To be clear, none of these people were her friends. And based on the profile pictures and names, as well as absence of connections to other legitimate friends, they should not become her friends either. 

Artifcts Offers a Warm, Safe Experience

Seeking to avoid this Facebook dilemma, I was reminded of vital attributes of Artifcts that further separate it from social media, especially for those with declining cognitive health. Artifcts means:

1. 1. 1. No ads leading you down meaningless and potentially costly rabbit holes.
      2. No algorithm encouraging you to befriend strangers.
      3. Stories, without the story burden (pesky reminders and deadlines, irrelevant questions, and the stress of a project).
      4. An activity to do together, with in-the-moment benefits and benefits for years to come, too.

Artifcts offers you bite-sized memories and stories. Your stories and stories loved ones have shared with you. We spent over 30 minutes together inside the Artifcts app reading story after story, her stories, and stories loved ones had shared with her. The stories evoked warm, safe memories and a feeling of connection with her loved ones. She added further color commentary to some of the items in the Artifcts. “Poor, Scotty, he was always losing his fur,” she remarked about a stuffed dog she's had since she was a child. 

Revisiting Artifcted stories was relaxing for us both, the person with dementia and the caregiver. Browsing Artifcts offered a reprieve from the demands of any schedule and of treating her like a patient. 

We transitioned then from browsing Artifcts to me helping her to create a few new Artifcts for herself.

Artifcts are like art, no two are the same. So while creating Artifcts can evoke positive memories, research also supports that the art of storytelling and exercising the creative and memory parts of brain, as when we create Artifcts, are good for our cognitive health. And, bonus, each Artifct we created was set up to be instantly shared with her immediate family members. Those Artifcts are like little gifts arriving in their inboxes – surprise – and become tangible evidence of time well-spent together.

_____________

To all the caregivers out there, we see you and value all you do. We beseech you to sprinkle Artifcts into your days so you can just be husband and wife, mother and daughter, best friends – people first, patient-caregiver second. And remind yourself, every moment of the day need not be about what they need. Prioritize your health, happiness, and sanity, too!

Wishing you a merry holiday season!

P.S. In case you have not heard, AARP chose Artifcts for its 2024 Gift Guide. You can browse the complete guide here.

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Let’s dispel a myth first thing in case it’s lingering in your mind: Dementia is not a normal part of aging.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, research has shown many risk factors contribute to causing Alzheimer's and other dementias, including genetics, behaviors, and habits. "While some risk factors, such as age and family history, may be set in their influence, there are many risk factors that can be changed to potentially reduce a person's risk of cognitive decline."

The organization Hilarity for Charity: Bringing Light to Alzheimer’s nicely summarizes some of these factors in this simple graphic (read more at https://wearehfc.org/5-brain-health-habits/):

Artifcts aims to play a role in reducing the risk of cognitive decline and helping people to get ahead of symptoms to adjust those factors within their control and others that could be influenced through medical intervention, too.

How will Artifcts do this?

Glad you asked!

Join Our Brain Health Study Today!

Like many, our co-founder Ellen’s family has been enduring the uncertainty and fear that often come with a loved one living with dementia. We’re grateful to share with you an opportunity to potentially bring to this world an easy, early access screening tool to get ahead of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) and dementia that's as simple as creating 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Artifcts!

The Artifcts-UMass Chan Medical Brain Health Study—funded by the Massachusetts eHealth Institute—is looking for volunteers age 65+ to join an at-home, Artifcts web/app-based research study that aims to answer whether the Artifcts platform can be used as a digital screening tool for cognitive health. Just imagine being able to screen your own brain health anytime, anywhere with the Artifcts you create every day anyway? We could flip the script and get people thinking about and acting on this information earlier than ever when more can be done to prevent and slow decline.

Participants will receive a one-year Artifcts membership at no cost to create and privately share Artifcts for the study, all from the convenience of your personal device (e.g., phone, tablet, or computer). You may be eligible if you are:

• • • 65 years of age or older
    • Fluent in English
    • US resident
    • Able to give consent to participate; MCI/dementia status is not a determinant of participation
    • Able to provide/create audio files via Artifcts app or Artifcts.com

Please act today. We need your help to make this research study a success. Take the first step to enroll today and/or share with a friend or loved one who may qualify. Learn more >

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Reading time: 3 minutes

"Getting old is not for sissies." I hear my grandmother declare in my head each time a new ache, pain, or grey hair enters my life. As I get older, one thing is for certain – she isn't wrong. 

Aging can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, a journey sprinkled with surprises that our younger selves never saw coming. For many of us as we navigate the intricacies of aging, we realize that perception is in fact our greatest companion. What might appear as a daunting uphill battle can, with a subtle shift in perspective, transform into a scenic journey filled with unexpected beauty. As we gracefully age, embracing this positive perspective becomes paramount. Perception, after all, is the brush that paints our reality, and in embracing this notion, we uncover the beauty woven into the tapestry of time. 

Each grey hair tells a story, and every wrinkle hints of experiences lived. Embracing positive aging is not about denying the challenges but rather about understanding that the lens we choose colors our narrative. Research tells us that cultivating a positive outlook can profoundly impact our physical health and overall well-being. Positive perspectives allow for more agency in our lives through choice and provides a sense of calm in chaos. Additionally, positive psychology encourages us not only to reflect on our experiences but to actively preserve and share them.

Consider creating concrete time in your week dedicated to revisiting old photographs, penning down cherished moments, or engaging in heartfelt conversations with loved ones. The wisdom gathered over the years becomes a treasure trove, and the echoes of laughter and shared moments resonate with a profound richness. These artifacts become a testament to a life enriched by the tapestry of memories woven through the years. 

Mindfulness is also a profound ally in navigating the journey of aging. It invites us to savor the present, to be fully engaged in each moment. Perhaps it's the subtle beauty of a sunrise, the pages of a well-loved book, or the emotional time travel of a making a familiar recipe. By incorporating mindfulness into our daily lives, we can shift our lens to find tranquility and a renewed appreciation for the nuances that make each day unique. Finding mental and emotional space to focus on one small, but mighty, moment can be the small shift needed to help reframe an instance of difficulties.

It's easy to get caught up in the societal narrative that aging is synonymous with decline. However, as we adopt a lens of positivity and gratitude, we uncover a new chapter where the passage of time becomes a source of empowerment. The wrinkles become lines drawn by the hand of resilience, and each ache carries the weight of lessons learned. In these early days of 2024, I challenge all of you to take inventory of your perceptions, be mindful of the moments around you, and decide where you would like your story to go. 

The journey is not without its challenges, but it is within those challenges that we discover the true essence of positive aging. It's an art, a dance, a shift in perception. In this grand spectacle of life, let's appreciate the hues that time adds to our canvas. Aging gracefully is not about avoiding the uphill climbs but about conquering the hills with a spirit that grows stronger with each step. Welcome to the show, where getting older is an opportunity to fully embrace the treasure trove of lived wisdom and echoes of laughter gathered and share in the beauty woven into the fabric of time.

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ABOUT DR. DARYL APPLETON

Dr. Daryl Appleton is the innovative and modern-day doyenne of wellness who is aggressively reshaping corporate, academic, and individual visions of wellness. Her consulting firm holds an exclusive clientele of global brands, top surgical residency programs, Fortune 500 executives, thought leaders & specialists, and professional athletes from across the globe looking to elevate their plans for success and fight burnout/mental fatigue.

Dr. Appleton challenges leaders, audiences, and organizations to redefine their values and views of success. In her unique approach, her firm utilizes neuropsychological techniques, communication strategies, and reprioritization of work-life S.W.A.Y. (Seeking What Aligns You) to help all clients meet goals and amend unproductive behaviors.

Dr. Daryl Appleton holds an Ed.D. in Leadership, a M.Ed. in Counseling, a C.A.G.S. in Mental Health, and an LMHC in the state of Rhode Island.

Get to know Dr. Appleton via her podcast, Feelings & Other F Words, which was voted one of Vogue’s Top 10 Mental Health Podcasts.

© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

A decade or so ago when Zoë Kim, of Raising Simple, began taking small steps toward a more minimalist lifestyle, it was her kitchen that was her motivator. How could she function when there was so much stuff, food stuff to use and not waste, but also stuff to fit into cupboards, wash and dry, and generally even remember to use! Why did she even have five wooden spoons when a few would do?

Back then, minimalism was not the popular theme it is today. There weren't podcasts, checklists, blogs, and books at every turn telling you how to start down this path. Advice was lacking that was practical, especially for this mom of two. No way was she going to tackle her whole house never mind start counting how many she had of each item in her home.

Fast forward to 2023. She's the mom to seven children in a blended family with her partner Matt Paxton. While he had spent nearly his entire career helping hoarders, supporting people who need to clean out their houses and others who were downsizing, he was never a minimalist. He liked his stuff, and the stuff from his dad - so many paintings! - and his grandfather. He liked it all so much that as he wrestled with how to pack it up to combine households with Zoë, he almost didn't move! (Read more about that experience in his book Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff.)

Minimalist Hacks for Daily Life (with Kids!)

Zoë and Matt appeared recently on an episode of Evenings with Artifcts, and they shared their combined insights on parenting as practical minimalists.

At the heart of this way of living for their family is that they have dramatically reduced the number of decisions they have to make on a daily basis, from getting dressed to setting the table for dinner. And for people like Zoë who are naturally disorganized, it's hard for her to make much of a mess when she only owns three pairs of jeans. And she can fold them any which way she pleases, and they'll fit in her drawer!

See if any of these hacks from Zoë and Matt can help you!

• • • Create a space for things. It will fill up, then you'll have to clear it out. This is great for kids (a locker, cubby, or drawer) and kids at heart, too. Artifcts cofounder Ellen Goodwin loves these bright, recycled, collapsible crates that come in multiple sizes.
    • Use it or lose it. It's been multiple seasons or years? Give it to someone who needs it or will at least put it to go use today. And stay tuned, because we'll have a great guide for you this Earth Day (April 22).
    • One in, one out. That applies to nearly anything: t-shirts, hats, shoes, books! And pause to Artifct the sentimental ones first! Who needs all these t-shirts anyway?
    • Model the behavior you want to see. Let "them," whomever that is in your life, see you make those same hard choices and let go of things. 
    • Give a fixed time limit. Your spouse or child says they want to sell it? Okay, set a limit of 48 hours and then move it on out, one way or another.
    • Capture the stories. Telling the stories helps us let go of items. You'll find you don't need the item itself as much as you thought you do. Artifct it; let it go. Here's one man's story of capturing stories in order to downsize.
    • Collections can exist, but maybe not all at once. You might not have room to display it all without drowning your space. Rotate monthly which items in your collection you display, whether that's a statute or a painting. Here's the painting Matt Paxton currently has on his office wall.

At the end of the day, Zoë and Matt are united in the view that they have a better life because they have less stuff. 

We encourage any of you seeking additional practical daily living tips to read Zoë's book, too. Maybe buy the digital version - an act that means one less book enters your home! 

Happy Artifcting!

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© 2024 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Reading time: 4 minutes

Got stuff coming at you from both ends – kids and parents? Feel like the peanut butter and jelly mushed in the middle of a generation sandwich? 

Well, I do. I’ve got stuff coming at me from my mom and dad—80 years of collections and counting—as well as stuff I still can’t shake from 26+ years of parenting. Bottom line, it’s a lot of stuff.  

Until recently, I felt that having lots of stuff required having bigger spaces and storage, lots of storage. The responsibility fell on me to keep it all and be ready to receive more if or when my parents are gone and as my kids move out but are not yet willing to “receive” their stuff. 

Times and circumstances changed quickly for me, however, and my “storage unit” mentality shifted from “more is better” to “why do I have all this stuff, and do I really need it.” I have moved and downsized twice over the past three years, forcing me to take a hard look at what I have, what I need, and what I want to keep for my kids. Thankfully for me, Artifcts came into being just as I was embarking on my first downsize.    

What I See Now When I Look at My Parents’ Stuff 

On my mom’s side of the fence, she has lots of stuff. Some of it is really important—mementos of her early days with my father, pieces of family history she’s carefully curated over generations. She is certainly the family-keeper. Other things are, well, I assume just things. The problem is sometimes I’m wrong.   

Take for instance a brick that was tucked in the back of her hutch. Family heirloom or home improvement project gone awry? Family heirloom! Turns out it is a brick from the church she and my father were married in way back when. HOW was anyone supposed to know? Even she admits that she only told me the story when I had the brick in my hand, ready to put it in the garbage bag. Family history crisis averted. Family history Artifcted. 

Family history, Artifcted!

I’ll give my mom a lot of credit—she’s Artifcted over 200 items, a lot of them we’ve done together, or she’s done with her grandkids. She’s led the way in capturing and sharing our family history through Artifcts. I know she has a lot more to do, and I am hoping to get other family members involved in helping her in the months ahead. 

My older brother retires in a few months, which I think makes him the perfect person to pass the baton to as our family history documenter/Artifcter. As he combs through the generic and obvious stuff, I’ll ask him to put aside anything with a possible story or deeper meaning. The 12-year-old food cans in the cupboard are trash. But what about the vintage kid art (did I make that?), the scraps of cloth in a bin (unfinished baby blanket?), or gold Egyptian hieroglyphic pendant (travel memento?). Those unknowns must have a story behind them. We are lucky that our mom is still with us, and that she is there to tell us the stories as we decide what to the keep, toss, or donate.  

The Kids’ Items Got Some Tough Love, Too 

On the kid’s side, oh – that’s the guilt factor! I have those odd drawings, the report cards, the clay ceramic blobs shaped like an abstract [insert word here]. The kids just look to their futures and walk out of their rooms without even dusting. After months, you go in and look around and find things that you wish you hadn’t found. Then, you realize they’re not coming back to clean it out. Then you realize you’re moving and they’re still not coming back to help.   

For me, I packed up what I thought was important and then started Artifcting the things that I knew were important but would sit in a box FOREVER if I hadn’t Artifcted them. What’s the point of boxing things up if you’re never going to look at them again?   

Yes, the kids may get upset that I didn’t keep their heartthrob concert poster signed by [insert name of a not so famous side-stage performer], but a quick Internet search revealed it would cost more to buy a poster tube than the poster was worth. What to do when faced with such a tough decision? Well, Artifct it and be done with it! If the kids complain, I’ll show them the memory, have them add to the story, and make a real moment out of it. 

The moral of this tale is simple: sandwich life is tough enough without all the stuff weighing you down. Artifct! Artifcting has enabled me to document our family stories, enjoy reliving moments with my family, and most importantly, let go of the stuff that doesn’t matter! Well, at least not all of the stuff. My wife likes to remind me that we still have bins that have not been opened since the last move, but that’s another story and task for another day.  

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© 2023 Artifcts, Inc. All Rights Reserved.